Hoodrat Heroes

Trashua Hoodbunnies From Friday Ratchet Hodown Throwdown Have Been Found And You’ll Never Guess Their Favorite Sportball Team

 “Bitch didn’t even hit me tho”








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Friday, we stumbled across a Trashua squabble between a couple of little hoodbunnies. We were able to identify them, and they’re just as terrible as you’d imagine.


Donna Clement, AKA Fanta Pants, is the broad with the fupa to end all fupas, and what looks like a case of serious clitoris cleavage and/or a beef bullet.



60% of Turtleriders thought she was hiding a bologna baton in those fanta pants, but I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news and crusher of dreams, but, it’s reproduced.

So, it is indeed a case of an extra wobbly mooseknuckle. And we all know nothing says mom of the year quite like a junktacular, barefoot ho’down throwdown right after the babe’s morning bubba. Nice meth burns around her cockwasher, too.


She is clearly the epitome of class and grace. I mean, just look at the flower crown.

Looks like her kid is pretty low on her list of priorities, though, as she’s barely mentioned – that’d take away from her dedication to her man, Mr. Morris, and also the girly-faced, indoor-sunglasses and flat-brim-lovin’ chud who graces her cover photo…

…and apparently, her bingo wing…

…who is a dead junkbox by the name of Randall St. Laurent. He’s dead, so  not much to say other than he was an absolute peach and just the kind of dude I’d love to have a permanent tribute to on a highly visible place on my body


Donna is also pretty partial to a certain sportball team. Ya know, the symbol that automatically conjures up images of ratchetry in normal people’s minds whenever they have the misfortune to see someone donning it.


In the most surprising turn of events, I have not been able to locate any type of arrest record for Fanta Pants. Seems she’s either good at flying under the radar, or unzipping flies after the radar clocks her to keep her name squeaky clean. Either or.

Her boyfriend and presumed sperm donor is pretty great, too

Lives in Fitchburg and doesn’t work – gotta be something in the water over there!


Seriously, get a load of this creep. He is reminiscent of Aaron Carter back in the day before the hardcore drugs kicked in.


He also enjoys cosplay by the looks of this photo, what with the Super Saiyan hair and all



He’s gotta have something going for him to be playing bury the broomstick with some of Trashua’s finest hoodbunnies… right?

Oh, nope.

Wait! There it is. It’s the fact that he’s got his priorities straight. Tattoos FTW! My body is a canvas, who cares if I have to cram myself into the back of a 2000 Geo Metro to catch a snooze? #YOLO

Anyway… who is the other half of this ratchet royal rumble?

Gingy McStuffins, AKA Whitney Manley. And she’s still all smiles showing off her booboo from being slammed around

I hope she cleaned that scrape up ASAP ’cause that place looked like it was ripe for picking up the HIV

Thankfully, it doesn’t look like Gingy McStuffins has reproduced. However, she is also proudly funemployed and lovin’ it.

She also has quite decent, hardworking men in her life, just take a gander at this exchange on one of her profile pictures

Jose “Quevo” Gurley is her on-again, off-again drug slingin’ boytoy

who has also has an affinity for flat-brimmed Bulls caps, dollar store flip phones to sling weight on, and Newport 100s. The wooden rosary adds an air of “good Catholic boy” to this ensemble.


He also enjoys pushing ladies down and stealing their pocketbooks

Tyler Putnam, Captain Save-a-Ho and racist backwoods redneck extraordinaire, is also quite the looker:

Nothing quite like redneck ratchetry, folks. The camo-esque flatbrim, the oversized belt that hangs to the knee, and the Kmart special wannabe Timbs. Hawt.

Clearly, these ladies only surround themselves with the best of the best.

Gingy McStuffins has herself a record:

Although I am disappointed it is not for anything exciting.

It appears she’s been troubled for some time, though

Seems whoever raised this mini lurchbeast did a bang up job. But hey, at least she didn’t get knocked up yet!

So there you have it, some of Trashua’s finest young ladies. We still have no idea what the beef was over. If anyone knows, we’d love to hear it!









11 Comment(s)
  • The Devil Woman
    July 17, 2017 at 12:33 pm

    Hahaha my daughter boyfriend in this. But wait he thinks he’s god gift. Goes to show what he really is

  • ThaStrangala
    July 17, 2017 at 9:58 am

    So just curious how reliable is the information here or is it just a bitch session. I mean I’m okay with it being a bitch session. There is a person of interest in the list. My personal interest. Just would like to know if it is just somebody that is pissed by the person.

  • Nancy
    July 16, 2017 at 10:08 pm

    You people have nothing better to do with ur life

  • Chip Striker
    July 16, 2017 at 9:06 pm

    Posing with a flat brimmed bulls hat and sunglasses on indoors is real original. What a fucking retard.

    • Herb Pease
      July 16, 2017 at 9:46 pm

      Shame on you! Retard is a very hurtful, politically incorrect term. Please just refer to the mentally challenged as “Democrat”, “Liberal”, “Left Wing Loon” or “Bernie Bot”. Even the feeble minded have feelings!

  • You don't need to know
    July 16, 2017 at 7:27 pm

    So you’re not man enough to reveal who you are huh? Just gunna talk shit about multiple people but be too pussy to say your name right? So obviously there’s a reason for that. What are you hiding?

    • Wabbitt
      July 16, 2017 at 7:49 pm

      Hiding the bologna pony in your mother, you candy ass douche canoe.

      Guess what – “you don’t need to know” who Turtleboy is. Anonymity is an asset when one is fighting both against corruption and against the regressive left.

      If you really want to rumble though, meet me at high noon at the Whitco. No cops.

    • Ryli
      July 17, 2017 at 9:58 am

      Heshiding the fact that he has a sexual harrasment charge against one of his former students . He used to be a school teacher till he was fired because of it. He’s disgusting and anyone who runs with this fool is just as shitty. Randy is dead you know you have no heart or consideration for anyone’s feelings when you can talk down on the dead. Talking about who raised this kids who the fuck raised turtle boy ?? He’s mother must be Satan or just didn’t give him enough love as a child. Cause he craves any attention he can get negative or not. It’s repulsive actually.

      • Wabbitt
        July 17, 2017 at 7:36 pm

        Going with the Buffalo Bruises as a source again, eh.

        Guess what Einstein – I know who one of the turtles is (because there’s more than one), and not only is it not the guy you’re claiming it to be – it’s a woman. But admitting women also write for Turtleboy ruins your lone creepy teacher narrative, so you’ll just keep your fingers in your ears and tune me out.

        • Burgling turts
          July 17, 2017 at 8:40 pm

          Keep feeding the turtle hood rats

  • Wabbitt
    July 16, 2017 at 2:30 pm

    Just here to reiterate my call for a National Flat Brimmed Bulls Hat Registry, so we can keep track of where these shit sippers live and hopefully keep clear of them

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