Smiles And Sunshine

Turtle Rider Buys Free Turtleboy Winter Hat For Whoever Comes Up With The Best Turtleboy Related Meme

Follow and Subscribe to Turtleboy podcasts on SoundCloud or iTunes by clicking here

Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Returns, and Clarence Woods Emerson to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at for more information.

If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:







Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 


A very thoughtful turtle rider paid for a Turtleboy winter beanie on Christmas Eve, except it wasn’t for them and it came with this message:

“Please send this hat to a deserving  turtle rider that may not be able to afford one.” 

Turtle riders really are the most generous and thoughtful people on earth. 

But who would we give it to? We don’t know who’s broke and who’s not. Then we came up with an idea that we may be able to start utilizing more in the future – Turtleboy meme contest. It’s really simple. We give you a blank meme, and you write in the words or fuck with it, then screenshot it and either post it on our Facebook page (or Clarence Woods Emerson) under the link to the contest, or message us on Facebook, or email it to if you’re not on Facebook. You got 24 hours, and may the best meme win. Here’s the one you’re working with today.

It’s called distracted boyfriend. Kind of a popular meme. Your meme has to be something Turtleboy related. You can pick a specific person we blogged about and center it around them, or make it more general. If you have no idea how this particular meme works here’s some examples we just came up with.

If you’re feeling creative and know how to do it you can also replace the people in the blog with characters of your choosing. Like these.

I recommend using Image Flip for a meme generator. It’s really simple, you just go to their site (hereand choose the distracted boyfriend meme, which is one of the first ones they offer. Then fill it in and screenshot it.

If you email it to us make sure you’re using a real email so we can let you know if you won. You have 24 hours.

P.S. Anyone who wants to buy a shirt or any other item from the Turtleboy store to donate for one of these contests is more than welcome to as well.

12 Comment(s)
  • Ziggy
    December 29, 2018 at 3:47 pm

    I have a white robe and hoodie.

    • ncfoothillbilly
      January 1, 2019 at 7:18 pm

      Could I borrow them? Ive a party to attend this weekend and it may be a tad chilly.

      Just got off the phone with my friend, Grand Wizard (I think hes into Dungeons & Dragons), and he said there would be a bonfire. Id still like to borrow your outfit, though…in case it gets too chilly.

  • Tommy Hillfinger
    December 29, 2018 at 8:18 am

    I love the style and contour of dis cap!! The craftsmanship and design are top shelf everyone must buy dis. Ask yourself dis, where else can you buy such a winter cap for $20.00 plus S/h???? This can’t be done!
    When a woman see you wearing dis cap she need to be with you sexually

  • Travis Rearick
    December 28, 2018 at 10:51 pm

    Can you change the embroidery on the hat? Drop the text and just leave the turtle. There’s way too much going on there for such a small piece of clothing. I’ll buy one in a heartbeat if you do.

  • Anonymous
    December 28, 2018 at 7:34 pm

    How are you ever going to choose from the ten entrees you got

    • Note to Self
      December 28, 2018 at 8:59 pm

      Don’t sound like an imbecile when you’re trying to be witty.

  • Mr Hankey Happy New Years Fuckers!
    December 28, 2018 at 6:41 pm

    I’m buying TB merchandise and giving it to street corner beggars on Belmont street…. Ok I’m too cheap to do that but that’s what I would do if I bought TB merchandise.

    The meme thing confuses me or it’s not a good picture to use. 3 attractive clean cut white people just doesn’t say Turtle Boy.

  • Sarah
    December 28, 2018 at 6:34 pm

    Thanks for including the link to the meme generator! I’ll give it an old college try.

    • Prichard Cocksack
      December 28, 2018 at 6:53 pm

      Where? Didn’t see any link.

  • The Vorlon
    December 28, 2018 at 5:23 pm

    I’ll wear a hoodie and hat while I’m being pegged relentlessly. Giggity giggity goo goo goo.

  • Christmas Joy
    December 28, 2018 at 3:09 pm

    Sorry but can’t do it.
    I took your advice when you said everyone wants a Turtleboy hoodie for Christmas so that’s what I did and it didn’t turn out so well. There was a lot of what’s a Turtleboy and my 12 year old nephew kicked me in the shins and said this is the worst present ever I hate you!

    • Shut Up
      December 28, 2018 at 6:59 pm

      Your family sucks, and your nephew’s a bitch.

Comment on this Post


Here Are The Most Popular Worcester Blogs From Turtleboy Sports History
I Am Turtleboy
Jeff Bauman Sends Big F You To Terrorist #2 By Impregnating Fiance