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Everyone’s buzzing today about the news – Turtleboy is getting sued in real life. Well, kind of. Ol’ Man Gordon Davis filed a civil suit in Worcester Superior Court, suing “Turtleboy Sports INC” and “Aiden Kearney.” The first problem is that there is no such thing as “Turtleboy Sports INC.” Nevertheless, this is one of the funniest things you will ever see.
The timing is interesting though isn’t it? A couple weeks ago Gordon Davis, who is a writer for the free magazine “In City Times,” thought it would be wise to publish an article alleging that someone showed up to a Michael Gaffney fundraiser….in blackface:
After we called shenanigans on this he posted this:
Accuse someone of wearing blackface first. Then find out if it was true later on. Nothing crazy about that!! Three days later the magazine’s owner Rosalie Tirrella, who is PERFECTLY SANE, admitted that Gordon made the whole thing up.
Oh yea, and Gordon is now being sued for $1 million by Michael Gaffney for literally making this story up out of thin air. Because in the real world, you are allowed to share your opinions about other people, but you can’t make shit up out of thin air.
The best part is how much he’s trying to sue this imaginary business for:
Not $1,000, or $2,000, or $3,000. He’s going for the whole thing!!!
Go big or go home!! That’s how Ol’ Man Gordy rolls. That’s a lot cash!! And it makes perfect sense too. He lost $3,000 last year as a direct result of Turtleboy Sports INC, and his “reasonably anticipated lost wages” as a direct result of the blog is a modest $150,000. Seems legit!! LOL. This is happening in real life!!!
Anyway, he claims he lost all this money because of libel, which is published false stories that ruin your reputation. So in order for him to get that big Turtleboy payday, he’s gonna have to prove a few things. First, he’s gonna have to show that he was gonna make $150,000 this year. Then he’s gonna have to prove that he lost all that business as a direct result of the things that were written on Turtleboy. Then he’s gonna have to prove that the things that were written aren’t true. Then he’s gonna have to get the money from a company that has never existed. Then he’s gonna have to prove who wrote all the blogs.
Sounds like an open and shut case!! We’re done folks!! Done!!!! We had a good run while it lasted but clearly we have been outsmarted by this man and his attention to detail:
Here is exhibit 1:
Here’s what happens when you go to the website “Discriminationlaw.biz”:
And we’re off to a great start!!!!
It’s kind of funny that Gordon is accusing Turtleboy of lying though isn’t it? Gordon has been sharing that Buffalo Bruises blog where a made up, fictional girl from Buffalo was sexually harassed for hours by our friend Aidan, in broad daylight, at a sold out football game, and no one did anything about it:
Nothing wrong with spreading a blog like that. Especially when it’s written by this guy:
Did we mention that James Kriger is currently being sued for $500,000 in a very real lawsuit for defaming and making up a story about a charity that brings sick kids to Bills games? Oh yea, and his blogs have been shut down per order of a federal judge. And Gordon was sharing this misinformation with everyone. But don’t forget, Turtleboy is the liar here.
So what exactly are the lies?
We have 3 blogs in question in which Gordy was called, “crazy,” “senile,” and “mentally unstable.” So apparently Gordy had some really big clients lined up who were about to drop off a suitcase full of cash to him. Then they read these three blogs in question and were like, “nah, I’m gonna go build a roller coaster instead.”
I’m sure his lack of business has nothing to do with the fact that these imaginary people with briefcases full of cash came to meet this “discrimination law advocate” and found this guy:
Who wouldn’t wanna hire that guy? Must’ve been Turtleboy’s fault. Everything else is around here!!
Let’s check out some of the blogs in question:
“Senile old man in a yellow raincoat and pink winter hat.” Any truth to that?
The definition of senile is “having or showing the weaknesses or diseases of old age, especially a loss of mental faculties.” Does this look like a man who is growing older and slowly but surely losing his mind?
That man seems perfectly normal. Definitely. And someday he will figure out how to work the megaphone:
Here’s another excerpt that cost him $153,000 in business:
Is Gordon mentally unstable? Well that term doesn’t really have a definition, but generally it’s when a person’s mental abilities are not steady and consistent resulting in an inability to cope with life effectively. We wrote in the blog that Gordon carries around copies of the same sign with him to every rally he goes to. Is there any truth to that? Let’s check out this Vine:
Love it. His wife takes his “Jobs – Yes, Racist Cops – No, Progressive Labor Party” sign, only to find yet another “Jobs – Yes, Racist Cops – No, Progressive Labor Party” sign undernath. Plenty more where that came from!! Nothing unstable about that right? Who doesn’t go to every single public event in Worcester with ten copies of the same hand drawn signs?
Then there was the final Department of Justice race discussion meeting. After WANDA got up there and cried about her hurt feelings, and Joyce McNickles delivered a poem called, “Dear White People,” Gordy stood up when it was all over and raved like a perfectly SANE person, about how we were all being fooled!!!
Sure, no one is listening to him and Joe Petty and Maura Healy are in the corner with their backs turned to him shaking their heads in embarrassment, but don’t think for a second there is anything unstable about this man right here:
That is the face of a man who clearly has not lost his marbles.
Then there was the time that Gordon Davis led a blockade of an empty garage at City Hall:
Blocking empty garages with the Sunshine kid? Nothing crazy about that!!!
Then there was the time that Gordon held a meeting about the importance of not talking to cops:
Oh yea, and then there was the time that Gordon Davis went to a DOJ meeting and handed out this flyer to everyone who entered, outlining the massive conspiracy that Turtleboy Sports had orchestratated in order to perpetuate hate, intolerance, and fear in Worcester:
Look at all those circles, rectangles, and crooked lines leading from one to the other. It’s like he had Hellen Keller draw him a Venn Diagram. Nothing crazy about that!!!
Then there was the time that Gordon said that Turtleboy was gonna cause a white kid to walk into a church and murder black people indiscriminately:
“I fear that someone is going to read that and think like the man in Charleston did – ‘I have to kill black people,’” said Gordon Davis.
And Gordon is really good at court too. He accurately predicted that the Kelley Square 4 would be found not guilty, despite the fact that a video clearly showed them blockading the intersection, because videos from the Internet cannot be used as evidence:
With that kind of legal expertise, is there any doubt that Turtleboy will be brought to his knees and murdered? We’re fucked!!!
So anyway folks, we had a great run. We just wanted to thank you for your support. Maybe we should start a GoFundMe to help us get through this trial. It’s gonna be rough!!
We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.