TurtleBoy Sports published it’s first blog on November 23, 2013. During that time we’ve gotten over 260,000 unique visitors from pretty much every country in the world. We’re mainly a New England blog, and the epicenter of our readership is from the great city of Worcester MA. But with every blog we write we pick up a new base of readers from all over the country and the world. Usually these people hate us because we keep it real. When you tell it like it is people get fussy. That’s how the blogging game works though. All in the game yo, all in the game.
In honor of our six month anniversary we present the Top 20 TurtleBoy Sports Blogs, based on total page views.
I think we can all agree that JL needs to be a more steady contributor to TurtleBoy Sports. You just can’t possibly give a better interview than this guy. It doesn’t get more Worcester than JL. He brings the true blend of homerism, vulgarity, and hot takes wrapped into one marvelous interview. Unfortunately his prediction for this game was way, way off.
This guy should really be more famous. He’s one of the funniest people you will ever see. Must watch videos on this one. Of course it also brought out many, many idiots who thought he was the worst father since the Von Tropp guy who led his family into near certain death in the mountains of Austria.
This game turned around UMass’ season. They were reeling after a home loss to George Mason and in danger of not making the tournament. This road win was special in so many ways.
This was not a story that affected anyone from around these parts. I think it was the pure shock value alone that got people to click on it. After all, don’t you wanna know more about the type of vile individual that would do something so fucked up?
These videos were fantastic. I could watch these magnificent creatures all day. Their vulgarity, offensiveness, and obsession with their loser school is second to none. When Sister Margaret comes over it becomes must see TV. Little did these people know they were being interviewed for a blog that is public enemy number one in
Buffalo Olean, NY.
It’s a well known fact that TurtleBoy Sports is by far the most comprehensive source on all things UMass basketball. We’re the only site that offers hot takes on the Minutemen. When they suck, we call them out. When they’re nasty, we oggle the crap out of them. At the beginning of the season UMass was solidly in the Top 25, but the only voter who didn’t have us in the Top 25 was a moron from Pittsburgh name Kevin Gorman. This article was widely read, and even got Gorman to issue an official response to it that made him seem even dumber. That wasn’t an easy feat on his part.
This was the most exciting basketball game I’ve ever been to. I’ve never seen the Mullins Center quite like this. The afternoon pre game party at McMurphy’s got the alumni nice and rowdy and as a result the place was batshit loud. The students were all in their seats an hour before the game and the Minutemen beat Shaka Smart for the first time ever.
TurtleBoy Sports likes to promote Worcesterites whenever possible. This story was one that I found truly inspiring. A great dude and a family man with an inspirational story that defined what it really means to be “Boston Strong.”
We wrote this one before Jon Gugala wrote his moronic blog on the bandits who ran with Kara Bonneau’s number. I had no idea bandits would be such a controversial and divisive topic. But apparently some people really, really hate the fact that other people aren’t as fast as them, but are allowed to run in the same race.
This one got so many hits thanks in large parts to my pals over at WEEI, Dennis and Callahan. I still can’t believe I’m the only fucker out there who bothered to do any research into who was tweeting racist things about P.K. Subban. Hey, works for me though, got Dennis and Callahan to read this blog on the air and now we got a whole new batch of readers who know where to find the hottest Worcester-centric takes on all things sports and entertainment. I mean, didn’t anyone else think it was moronic that the Bruins had to offer an official apology because of what some idiots wrote on Twitter? Since when are teams responsible for what people say on Twitter? I guess it’s easier to just roll with the PC crowd. But people don’t read TurtleBoy Sports for PC bullshit. They read it for the hot takes. Thanks to this writeup we’re now blogging on the Producer’s Blog on WEEI.com.
Apparently a lot of people found this blog useful. Doesn’t exactly make me feel safe on the roads. Turns out two of the five attorneys featured, Michael Erlich and Anthony Salerno, got a hold of this blog and promoted the shit out of it on their Facebook pages. Not surprisingly it’s a two way race in the poll for Top DUI Attorney in Worcester. We look forward to a more permanent relationship with these two upstanding individuals.
I’m pretty sure most TurlteBoy Sports regulars devoured this blog in private. This story made national headlines because the girl is smokeshow graduate who happens to moonlight as an elementary school special education teacher in Fitchburg. Pretty controversial shit when she was put on paid leave. Brought up a lot of strong feelings about what is an isn’t appropriate behavior for teachers when they’re not on the clock. At first we thought it was a little much. Look, this isn’t modeling, it’s porn. Softcore, but still porn. The girl is being ripped off by some sleazy photographer at a bootleg magazine. Or at least she WAS. After she was exonerated and got her job back she picked up a MILLION more fans because of all of this. Easily the best thing that ever happened to her. Our take on the whole thing is that teachers are people too and if you’re gonna pay them $50,000 a year you can’t expect them to be Mother fucking Theresa.
The day after a HUGE win over Providence in which Derrick Gordon hit a floater at the buzzer, the Globe had a front second page column about another Boston College loss, but nothing about UMass. Bashing the Globe was apparently something people have been waiting years to read about. People hate that state-sponsored propaganda they drivel out. Their obsession with Boston College (because probably most of the idiots who work there graduated from there) is borderline obsessive. Worked out for us though because we’re the only game in town giving you hot UMass takes on the regular.
The headline said it all. I had never heard of this terrible, terrible school full of communists until I read about this story. It reminded me how batshit insane liberals can be when you let them off their leash. Truly the worst this great country has to offer.
I had no idea St. Bonaventure had basketball fans until I wrote this blog. I was angry that UMass lost to a team with poop colored uniforms. I was angry that yet another group of idiot fans stormed the court in a game they were favored to win. So I let out my frustrations on these lugnuts, and it set off a rage of fury in upstate New York. Every person who ever attended that school read this blog AND commented on it. They were shocked about my lack of knowledge involving upstate New York geography. Soon after junior smokeshow Hannah Gordon contacted me for an exclusive interview for their student newspaper. To say we hit it off is the understatement of the century. Hannah can ride my magical turtle any time she wants.
5. Boston University Women’s Basketball Coach Kelly Greenberg Yelled At Four Players, Which Makes Her a Bully.
Stories like this are far too common. Long time winning coach loses job because loser benchwarmers sue them for being mean. Our society is completely fucked if the bad guys keep winning like this. I think this blog was read over 9,000 times because the American people are waking up to this. The silent majority is sick of shit like this and isn’t gonna stand for it anymore. This is what the TurtleBoy Sports revolution is bringing people. You’re either with us or you’re with them.
Has there ever been a juicier local story than this? So many twists and turns. So many plot twists. First the poor kid was the victim of racism and it looked real because their team had a checkered history involving race relations. Then the FBI investigated it and found out they were just making the whole thing up and grafitiid their own home so their kid could play football at Division 1 Leominster High School. But the Dad kept pulling the race card. Just a fascinating, fascinating story.
So many hot takes on this blog. I had no idea bandits were this disliked by so many people. I should have known people would be this moronic to give a flying fuck that four stooges jumped in the Boston Marathon and ran 26.2 miles for charity. The haters were all over the comments on this masterpiece.
Some people are surprised this blog was so big (over 15,000 page views). These people don’t understand the following Kansas Jayhawk basketball has. When Tharpe took this picture every member of Jayhawk Nation was googling it. Quick, google “Naadir Tharpe selfie.” Look who comes up first, then factor in the hot interracial debauchery and it will make sense why this blog was so widely read.
What else? When this video went viral in the Woo I got about a million or so texts asking me when I was gonna blog about it. By the time I got around to it she had already taken it down. Luckily I had already watched it and written out verbatim everything she said. Later on we got a hold of the video, put it BACK on youtube, only to have Margee petition youtube to take it down for copyright infringement. That’s just how Margee rolls.. I am not sorry for this blog at all. She was looking to be controversial and edgy, and this is a bi-product of that. You can’t make a video that shits all over an entire community and expect people to say, “Agree to disagree.” Especially when you’re a carpetbagging rich junior smokeshow with an annoying WASPY accent from Canton. It got 25,000 hits in the first day alone, and many of you reading this right now are doing so because you found out about TurtleBoy Sports because of this blog. The lesson is that whenever you hear about something really fucked up like this, send me an email immediately and it will be blogged about post haste.
Here’s the honorable mention:
Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.