Smiles And Sunshine

Turtleboy Sports Is Hiring

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Want to have your business advert seen 1 million times per month? Email us at for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer. Want to make money real fast? We will pay you cash if you bring us advertisers. 

Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.

Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.




So Turtleboy Sports is growing by the day, which is awesome, but it’s presenting us with some new challenges. We do blogging over here at Turtleboy. It’s what we’re good at. But we really wanna take this to the next level which means we need to hire a couple people. Our sales manager is now strictly in charge of promotions, and we need to hire a sales guy or girl. Basically your job would be to sell ad space on the site, figure out new creative ways to get advertisers, sell TBS merchandise, etc.

What we’d be looking for is someone with experience in the field. Someone with existing connections, or the ability to get out there and get new business. Your job would be pretty easy since the website sells itself. We’re averaging over 1 million monthly page views, so companies would be dumb not to work with us. We’re too busy putting out content and doing promotions to do this though. We can document every single page view, and show exactly where people are reading it, how old they are, and what their gender is.

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The goal is simple – undercut the Telegram and Gazette, Worcester Magazine, and every other media outlet in the region. Their prices (especially the Telegram) for digital ads are outrageous and you can find them online. You’d be selling ad space on a media outlet that is bigger than our competitors, and you have the ability to charge half what they do. So basically you’d go to companies, and tell them you want to cut their advertising budget in half and give them a bigger audience to sell to. Probably the easiest job that has ever existed if you’re good at sales.

We can offer you small base pay plus commission. We’d give you a three month tryout, and you can show us that you can bring in new revenue to the company, then we keep you aboard. If you can’t, then you’re not very good at sales and we’ll find someone else.

We also have been expanding, particularly to Western MA, and we could use a new writer or two. This is a lot harder than it sounds though. Don’t let anyone tell you blogging is easy. Blogging ain’t easy. Basically we’d be looking for writers from anywhere outside of Worcester County to find stories in the news and give them the Turtleboy touch. Before we bring you aboard we’d give you a tryout for a little while and see if, a) you’re good at blogging, and b) you can attract an audience. If you’re from Worcester or close to Worcester, it doesn’t disqualify you, but we just don’t need you to rehash the same stories we’re already blogging about on a daily basis.

Since TBS is the most legitimate news source around, we are also looking to hire some blogging interns. Honestly, why waste your time interning at the Telegram and Gazette? It’s not gonna be around in 20  years. Turtleboy will be. Plus colleges are breeding grounds for dooshnozzles, so you’d have plenty to write about. Be it your crazy professor, or some ridiculous hippie assignment, or a campus wide rally for free shit. Whatever it is, you can get it off your chest by blogging for Turtleboy Sports. We’ll write you a nice letter of recommendation or hire you if we think you have what it takes in this industry.

Finally we need someone who is good with omptimizing websites. We’ve had some technical difficulties in the past, including database errors, and people coming to the home page and finding blogs from December 23 instead of the most recent blogs. We don’t have time to deal with this shit. So basically we’d have you go through the site and find ways to help make sure this never, ever happens again. That’s it. We just wanna throw money at you and never have to worry about this. If you can’t make that happen, that’s cool. We just wanna give you money and have the least amount of communication with you as possible.

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So once again we are looking for the 4 following positions:

  • Sales Manager
  • Blogger
  • College intern
  • Website guy

Contact us if you are interested. Please send an email to us at explaining your background, qualifications, and why you’d be a good fit at Turtleboy. Then we can set up a meeting and talk some more.


We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.

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Want to have your business advert seen by over 1.2 million people per month? Email us at for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook

Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.

Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.

12 Comment(s)
  • Gronkmonster
    May 4, 2016 at 9:32 pm

    Turtleboysports is the best place to get second hand stories last. Not to mention the confidential 9 and 12 year old informants who get skewered if they are fibbing. FACT!

  • Gronkmonster
    January 19, 2016 at 8:32 pm

    LMAOOO you come here first before looking for professional services so as not to use any from here…You are one sad and lonely individual

    And Skeptical just stop now…You dont have the balls to confront even one advertiser face to face..That I will put money one

    You will end up just like Really Big and Goofy…Having a beer in a place you claimed you would boycott

  • King of Plum Street
    January 19, 2016 at 8:47 am

    I had a good laugh reading this post. Here’s why: you say that you’re looking to hire people to sell ad space. The funny thing is, I make sure before seeking out professional services that any potential business I am considering doesn’t have an ad posted on here. I don’t want to do any business with any businesses that support TB. It’s a matter of character and purely a business decision.

    • Skeptical
      January 19, 2016 at 10:00 am

      Plus they lie about viewership numbers.

      Actually, fuck it. I’m printing out the Alexia analytics and other premium site traffic analytics and bringing it to every advertiser on here to show they’ve been lied to. Can’t wait to see the looks on their faces lmfao.

      • Mark Dog
        May 4, 2016 at 9:01 pm

        They are lying! It’s a joke! He’s counting page views? That includes hitting the back button!

  • Wwy
    January 19, 2016 at 1:29 am

    I’m all facts,most don’t like the truth, they’d rather be lied to so they feel better.

    • Skeptical
      January 19, 2016 at 9:57 am

      Isn’t that always the way it is?

      If it does not gel with an already preconceived result that they imagine, people get angry and offended. Love it.

      Maybe I should pay $10 to Alexia again to show TB’s average daily numbers are closer in viewership to 3k daily. So, more like 100,000 monthly. Less than 1/10th of 1.2M.

      I can already hear the TB Rider butthurt brigade coming. I guess that’s why they’re called Turtle Riders, they just ride his d*** all day long. Sitting on it and rotating for their lord and master, that they submit to without question, without examination, without trying to eliminate bias.

      Ah, the smell of reason, so much better than the smell of turtle dung.

  • Wwy
    January 19, 2016 at 1:05 am

    I tell too many facts,too many get upset about the truth.

  • Clive's not a racist, just ask him
    January 18, 2016 at 9:50 pm

    Is the position still available for turtleboy fluffer?

  • CM
    January 18, 2016 at 9:27 pm

    I am totally unqualified for each position, but can’t stand shitheads, douchebags, gangbangers, wanna-be gangbangers (although they do look bad ass walking around the rite aid parking lot rapping, pointing, and generally making me proud to be of the same race), people who beg at traffic lights, people who milk the system, dingle berries, hippies, professors, or college brats. The list goes on and on, so on those grounds I would fit right in.

    I am Turtleboy

  • Publius
    January 18, 2016 at 9:03 pm

    Definate explosion inTBS online ads, an unscientific observable fact.

  • Frogshit
    January 18, 2016 at 5:28 pm

    Old Balls is lookin’ for work. Wouldn’t that be a “hoot’!
    I think he’s runnin’ on the T&G pages as ‘Bob Bishop” now.?
    Look him up…

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