Smiles And Sunshine

Turtleboy2020 Ratchet Madness Round 2: Fupasloth Region


The weekend is over which can only mean one thing – time for round 2 of Turtleboy 2020 Ratchet Mandess. Vote for which ratchets should advance in each of the following matchups. To read up on their ratchet resumes click here to read them on TB Daily News. Or just vote here if you’re already a seasoned reader.



1. Lorrayna Calle vs. 9. Duck Lipped Platypus

1. Lorrayna Calle


9. Duck Lipped Platypus






4. Revere DCF Junkies vs. 5. New Bedford Dog Abuser

4. Revere DCF Junkies



5. New Bedford Dog Abuser





3. Camel Toe Truck Girl vs. 6. Brockton Poontang Plow

3. Camel Tow Truck Girl


6. Brockton Poontang Plow






2. Weymouth Wenchstain vs. 10. Nashua Nut Serpent

2. Weymouth Wenchstain


10. Nashua Nut Serpent








13 Comment(s)
  • Judge dread
    April 13, 2020 at 1:03 pm

    The judge wants to take a Louisville slugger and fucking knock the teeth out of that DCF Revere bulls gear wearing chudstuffer who’s driving around swearing at his kids.

    If anyone saw the original Harvey Keitel version of Bad Lieutenant HK treats his kids better than that and he’s a murderer, addict, thief, and cop who snorts coke off of family photos.

    During this time of soft martial law and everyone staying home I highly recommend people download and watch bad lieutenant from 1992.

  • Ralph and the Raiders in Billerica
    April 13, 2020 at 11:30 am

    Danielle isn’t so bad. We’ve hung before. It’s pretty cool actually. We go out get a bundle of the good stuff in the little wax baggies. Sniff, boot, smoke a little here and a little there. Eventually she needs to get her monkey patted and its party time. I’ve hit that thing 8 times in a row and loved every minute of it. Gets a little sloppy, jamming one’s own creampie, but hey, it’s not sloppy seconds if you’re spooing on your own spoo. So lighten up, Danni is a good girl. And guess what, she wasn’t even snorking that fool Baggz, that was one big ruse to get your fuckers to believe their little game. Baggz has been actually banging Linh Vu for the past 3 years, so jokes on you! Bet you didn’t know good boy toy Linh Vu likes to face smack himself with cocks did you? Yeah, I would have never guessed it. Well, sort of, he doesn’t have that “stick a fat pulsating cock in my mouth” face and the good dental work to handle it. Daddy’s got money you know. Anyway sadly, Danni was puttin it out to Abrams, but she was nearly raped by the douche, so she knows she needs to make better selections for the future. We parted as friends with junkie benefits, so we still hook up whenever I got a bundle to blow through. Now on this Ratchet Madness thing, this could be a good resume builder for her. I mean, she has only worked maybe 2 jobs her whole life and been fired both times for stealing the nights’ proceeds. So she needs some help. Come on people, give her a little help. There is nothing more prestigious than winning Ratchet Madness. I know she’ll have her hands full with Bristol Chick in the running this year. Want to talk about pimply gooshy fly traps, man, old KP has got a snorker just as mooshy as Danni, but it stinks really bad. The Allies could have used that stank bomb during WWI instead of mustard gas. Seriously, a friend of a friend was tapping that shit and said it took him twi weeks every time to wash the rank of his foreplay fingers after they doinked. So people can vote for Stank Rat or Danni up until the two should meet. I would give it to Danni though, good girl junkie shines always beats stinky dead fishy twat in my book. From the sounds of it, the guy from Turtleboy may probably agree, though he may not vote the same as I. So I implore all folks, have some compassion, give Danni that resume builder line time she so desperately needs. If you do, I guarantee, the good lord will bless you with some many wet dreams, you’ll blow wads all over the floor and he’ll have Ashley Azevedo personally show up to lick it all up. Another good girl, just sort of fat and ugly, with miles of stretch marks. But hey, who cares who’s cleaning up your spoo, as long as someone is doing it. Right?

  • Jack Rabbit
    April 13, 2020 at 10:44 am

    HAHAHAH! If you do a google image search for “Fupasloth”, all that comes back is a bunch of links to turtleboy!

  • Heave Hoe
    April 13, 2020 at 10:21 am

    There should be a best commentor bracket

    • TortugaNiño
      April 13, 2020 at 12:43 pm

      That’d be great, but can’t happen. Unc needs to maintain the illusion that he never reads them and allows it to exist as is to preserve free speech. Which is by all means the right thing to do, just sucks that the charade is a neccessary evil when making that argument.

  • Such a waste
    April 13, 2020 at 8:23 am

    It’s a shame that tow truck girl is a dirty hooker, she is kinda sexy. Wouldn’t though…don’t want my thingy turning green and falling off after taking her to pound town. Pretty sure she has shit that won’t go away with penicillin.

  • Toilet Vapor
    April 13, 2020 at 7:10 am

    This lock down sux. I dont know how they did it when houses only had 1 bathroom. Best way to find an old sow? Head to the Sow Shore.

  • Fast Eddie
    April 13, 2020 at 6:16 am

    That New Bedford Dog abuser should be shot on sight. Chasing around that poor dog in enclosed area. What a fucking a-hole.

  • I used to buy my whiskey from Murphy now Patel sells it to me .
    April 13, 2020 at 6:04 am

    What is Uncle’s take on Woody Harelson and John Cusack’s 5G and covid-19 conspiracy ?. And what about the reports of an underground base under the field at the WTAG towers ? Has anyone else heard or seen the reports on the unidentified flying objects hovering over that area ? Evidentially there was a crew out there with ground penetrating radar investigating ( same group that was looking for Bigfoot in Leominster state forest ) federal agents emerged from the building and ordered them off site . Can anyone confirm ?

    • Ronny LeBlanc
      April 13, 2020 at 8:32 am

      Hey, keep this quiet until I get irrefutable proof….gonna make big bucks off the book.

    • Thank you come again
      April 13, 2020 at 9:25 am

      I had this pain in elbow. I thought it was bone fragments. Turns out it’s 5G. Hmm

  • Slam pig central
    April 13, 2020 at 1:19 am

    I’d still hit it! Oink oink baby

  • george costanza
    The angry taint
    April 12, 2020 at 11:46 pm

    Weymouth whenchstain is truly horrifying

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