Turtleboy’s Backup Facebook Page Is Suspended Because These 3 Posts Allegedly Violate Their Standards

Turtleboy’s Backup Facebook Page Is Suspended Because These 3 Posts Allegedly Violate Their Standards

Your attention please – the Turtleboy Sports backup page has also been suspended until March 10. Here is the backup to the back up page. The Turtleboy Safe Space. We will make a million pages of necessary. Like them all.

Turtleboy Sports Facebook page has been suspended until Tuesday, March 22. In order to follow the blogs you MUST  like the Free Turtleboy Facebook page, which we use to post blogs whenever the Turtleboy Sports Facebook account is arbitrarily suspended. If we ever get shut down for good, this will become the new Turtleboy Sports main Facebook page.

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So in case you haven’t heard the news, our backup Facebook page is on a 24 hour suspension right now. Ya got that? The only reason we even use the backup page is so our readers can follow and comment when the main page is on a suspension. And now the BACKUP page is also suspended. It’s why we created the backup to the backup page, the Turtleboy Safe Space Facebook page.

We are currently serving this 24 hour suspension because we were reported 3 times this week, and the brilliant, nonexistent Facebook employees deemed that these 3 posts “violated their standards.” Here’s the first:


I’m not even gonna say his name, because I’m done with this guy. But what exactly is the problem here? He did in fact post a picture of a turtle rider’s baby child on his Facebook page.

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(we covered their faces in the blog we wrote)

Is it because we used the word “asshole?” Is that what Facebook is coming to? You can’t use potty words? Because if it is, then Facebook just got very uncool. I understand there’s some things you can’t be writing on Facebook, but seriously? Asshole?

This one was strike 2:

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This was one of the first posts we made on the backup page, which means SOMEONE is going back through all of our posts and reporting all of them. Literally, the only words we wrote were “Turtleboy lives.” That’s it. Then we linked a blog that we had just written about Facebook suspending our main page for 3 days. Please Facebook, tell me what “standards” this violates. Because you keep linking the standards and I keep reading them and I don’t see anything on there that says we can’t write, “Turtleboy lives.”

Then we got strike 3 today:


Our account was suspended for this. Think about that for a minute. Our account page was suspended for telling people to like our new page because our main page is suspended. Facebook deemed that this violated their standards. So basically two of the three strikes were for mentioning that our main page was suspended, and the third was for writing the word “asshole.”

Fuck Facebook. Seriously, I love Facebook. I’m addicted. But their system has been cracked. We all know who is reporting these things. It’s the same guy over and over again. And Facebook is allowing him to do this. He has no job and he sits in his basement all day making fake pages up so he can report all of our posts a million times each. It probably fails 99% of the time, but once in a while you get lucky.

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That’s what happens when you don’t have any employees. We’ve said it a million times before but people aren’t getting this very simple concept – NO ONE WORKS AT FACEBOOK!!! Because Mark Zuckerberg makes BILLIONS of dollars, but he’s such a cheap piece of shit that he doesn’t hire anyone. Back in the day industrialists made a lot of money too, but people were cool with them because they created jobs. Mark Zuckerberg creates nothing except revenue.

The scary part about this is that Zuckerberg is quickly becoming a fascist. I understand it’s his site and he can do what he pleases. But if you criticize Facebook and their arbitrary policies you can have your page suspended? This is what Facebook is all about now?


Here’s my question – how come this doesn’t happen to bigger pages? Sure, we’ve got a sizable audience, but ultimately we’re small potatoes. Sites like Gawker, the Daily Beast, Barstool Sports, Fox News, the Huffington Post, the Greenfield Recorder, and Deadspin piss WAY more people off than we do. Surely the man who shall not be named isn’t the only one in America sitting in his basement reporting things he doesn’t like all day. How come none of those pages ever have the problems we do?


Serious question – does anyone out there know how to stop this? Or can anyone give us some real advice about how to fix this? We’ve worked our shell off to get to 25,000 followers and we’d like to see that number grow even more. We’ve called the only customer support number we could find and got a recorded message that said that they don’t do customer support over the phone.

Anyway, like I said before, if they keep this shit up then someone out there is going to invest in a superior form of social media. One that doesn’t arbitrarily shut you down for no reason. One that lets you criticize them on their own site. One that actually employs human beings. Until then we HIGHLY SUGGEST you get a Twitter account. We only have about 4,000 followers on Twitter because most people in our target demographic don’t have a Twitter account. But Twitter NEVER shuts you down and we post all our blogs on there too. It’s also where we live post during debates and games and stuff like that. So follow us on Twitter while we work out the kinks with Facebook.

The bottom line is that none of this means anything. If you think we need Facebook then you’re out of your mind. As a matter of fact, we’re on pace to have our biggest day EVER at Turtleboy Sports today. It’s 3:22 right now. This is how many page views we’ve got so far:


No biggie. Just record page views. We’re probably gonna finish with over 120,000. Think of how many people that is. It could fill up the TD Garden six times. And we get that in one day despite having both our Facebook page and our backup Facebook page suspended. Go ahead Facebook, keep banning us. It only increase the Turtleboy appeal. People root for the underdog and chicks dig the bad boy.


We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.


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Tattoos Massachusetts

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Want to have your business advert viewed over 1 million times per month? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook

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10 Comment(s)
  • BlackandWhite
    March 10, 2016 at 5:45 pm

    I totally believe in karma.
    Especially for “the one who shall not be named.”

    And turtle riders have patience.

  • ItsAllABadDream
    March 9, 2016 at 10:56 pm

    By the way, Love Alf…he’s a win every time.

  • ItsAllABadDream
    March 9, 2016 at 10:42 pm

    Facebook is pathetic. LOOK AT ME! I NEED ATTENTION!! Justify my existence by liking my breakfast omelette!!!

    Ignore them. It will be gone soon anyway. At least I hope so. If not society is doomed so who cares anyway…

  • FacebookIsFucking LAME
    March 9, 2016 at 7:47 pm

    Lets make MySpace a thing again!!!

  • Real Talk
    March 9, 2016 at 4:45 pm

    Facebook has employees – the ones that take the payments to keep those big pages you listed up and running. You really think they don’t extort income from the likes of Gawker to not suspend their pages?

    • TurtleBoySpurts
      March 9, 2016 at 8:47 pm

      Man, you gotta love capitalism, especially when it coincides with karma. The advertising roster’s getting thin as well. And so the spiral goes. I see a real job in Turtleboy’s future. The wife’s gotta put her foot down sometime and show him who the man of the house is.

      • BobnMic
        March 11, 2016 at 11:57 pm

        TBSpurts – Where you been man? The criticism here has been getting so week. All we have now is some nutjob from the Burg shutting down web sites probably in his boxer shorts while smoking meth with Chumlee from the Pawn Stars. But at least you bring an intelligent aspect of your view.

        Welcome back.

        • BobnMic
          March 11, 2016 at 11:57 pm

          *weak oops

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