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  • Twat McStuffins And Pawtucket’s Finest Arrested In Drug Sweep Take To Facebook To Defend Their Honor In Another Legendary Rhode Island Rabbit Hole



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    There are just too many winners in the latest Pawtucket slopbucket crime sweep:


    What. A. Crew.

    We all remember growing up and playing Guess Who?

    I’d like to take all these mugshots and make a spinoff called, “Pawtucket Guess Who?”

    Does your person track marks on their left forearm?

    Does your person look like he or she just got run over by a school bus full of dirty needles?

    Is your person 26 going on 62?

    Could I land a jumbo jet on your person’s forehead?

    Does your person smoke Newport Lights or Newport 100s?

    Does your person look confused, like they don’t know what the hell just happened, or do they look like upbeat, like this is a pretty common occurrence for them?

    Apparently the landlord at this address has been trying to clear out this ratchet lair for a while now but can’t because the government pays their rent on time every month:

    Nevertheless the feelz patrol was out in full force, pointing fingers directly at the Pawtucket Police for using social media to communicate with the public about drug arrests in the community:

    Oh yea, we should more concerned about how drug dealers are perceived in the community. She’s fumed!! This coming from a woman who clearly is NOT into drugs herself:

    And who takes the bologna baton from men who wear flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hats.

    For the record she was there to defend her sister Alyssa’s honor:

    She’s not just an addict, she’s the top salesman. But she NEVER gets in trouble with the law.

    Ever.

    And she’s “married” to the head honcho while pretending like her income is coming from hard work at McDonald’s:

    You’ll see her outside the golden arches holding signs for the “Fight for 15 milligrams.”

    And as you will see from her Facebook page, the two of them seem to have produced twins. Which of course in Pawtucket means double the negligence, and double the food stamps.

    And in the least surprising turn of event ever, this is not Alyssa Maurelli’s first time on Turtleboy. Rhode Island Turtle Sista blogged about her back in July when she tried to escape from police custody by climbing through a dropped ceiling:

    The ill-fated escape attempt happened shortly after noon at Memorial Hospital in Pawtucket, when the woman, who was in the custody of the Central Falls Police Department at the time, was allowed to use one of the hospital’s bathrooms. Central Falls Police Chief James Mendonca told Eyewitness News that once inside the bathroom, the woman attempted to climb up into the dropped ceiling. The police officer “reacted quickly to prevent her from getting fully into the crawl space,” Mendonca said. The woman got partially up into it before the officer re-secured her.

    Police identified her as 28-year-old Alyssa Maurelli of Central Falls, who had been picked up on a warrant for failing to appear for a court hearing, possession of a weapon other than a firearm, and misdemeanor conspiracy. Mendonca said he couldn’t recall a suspect trying to escape by climbing up into a ceiling in his nearly 27 years in law enforcement.

    “I think I may have seen this once or twice in the movies,” he said.

    And of course she ended up on Judge Judy last year when she and her husband “Tommy” (her 2017 husband) were sued by Alyssa’s father after he wisely co-signed a car loan that “Tommy” couldn’t pay back:

    Whatever you do, don’t do this on a post full of junkboxes getting publicly shamed on a police Facebook page:

    Yea, tat’s not a good thing. Although based on the dog filter I can’t say I’m surprised either.

    My personal favorite ratchet in the deck was this one:

    Holy Lindsay Lohan!!!

    Thirty. She’s freaking 30!!! That is by far the longest 30 recorded years in modern history.

    But as it turns out she just didn’t have time to get her makeup on. That’s the unflattering relapse glamour shot. This is what the before picture looked like:

    Oh yea, that’s much better. She’s only 54 in Pawtucket years in that selfie.

    Good news folks – the eggs are hard boiled:

    AGAIN!! Pregnant again!!! Well, that’s just swell. I also don’t know you Hope Price, but the fact that you associate with this skagbag and can no longer reproduce is the first positive thing I’ve see on Turtleboy all day.

    Hopefully DCYF snatches that baby up the moment she shoots it out of her baby cannon during a taxpayer funded trip to the hospital, like they did with the previous poon missiles:

    Then again, this is Rhode Island. There’s probably a 50/50 chance she gets to keep the baby. I’m sure that baby will turn out just fine……

    After all, she don’t use needles. She sticks to methadone:

    And the guy who called her out on it gave her $100 for a basket sandwich and never received servicing.

    If you can’t trust a high end crack hooker like this to give you your money’s worth……

    Then who can you trust?

    Plus, she don’t hook – she just runs the hookers:

    She might be a spunk monkey who dabbles in prostitution, but don’t you dare be judging Rosa though:

    Yea, why would anyone ever talk shit about this woman?

    What could there possibly be to talk about?

    Sorry guys, she’s taken, as you can see from her wedding photos featuring professionally done public transportation selfies:

    As you can see from the t-shirt, her back alley husband is the catch of the century:

    The two of them were recently in the market for a crackden before settling for the junkbox meeting spot in the bucket:

    Oh, and they recently purchased a pit bull:

    Which she’ll take great care of on the rare weekends when she’s not locked up.

    Rhode Island. It’s the most underrated source of ratchets in America right now. The rabbit holes here are far deeper than any you’ve ever seen before.

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    Discussion

    1. Hugh Jass


      DeDe sends her love, TB. And she wonders why your FB page has been inactive of late… Snicker.

      1. DiDi Gelado


        Snickers… my main food group. 

    2. Chris Romano


      Rhode Island is by far the worst state in New England no question. It’s like they gave a bunch of Brockton natives new land and said “here you go, turn this into a state.”

    3. Rick Shaw


      These guys could get paid to haunt houses at Six Flags.

    4. AgingCynic


      You might want to check the provenance (see what I did there?) on that wedding ring. Looks like it may still have broken glass on it.

      1. KJDS


        I thought it was just photo-shopped 🙂

    5. MillerLite


      ” I don’t use needles I’m on methadone u Fuckface.” All-timer right there.

    6. 3 Chainz


      Truth am the Winter (whites ,asians, homos only) O- limpics don’t want a brotha to get some gold.

      Put a nigga in some skates an flash blue lights behind him and you see some record breakin shit yo!

      Why aint there no blacks in Russia or Asia? Cuz they racist motha fuckas dats why!

      1. Not funny


        It’s not funny. Not even remotely. Give it up.

      2. Lisa


        Why do you keep posting the same illiterate and unfunny comment? 

    7. #rhodehard


      Damn she’s only 30?!? She looks like a hard 45-49, see what drugs do to you kids! She looks like an extra walker in the walking dead, for real! 

      It’s really annoying that Hugh Jass just can’t shut the hell up, whoever it is(most likely Didis fat ass) has the intellect of a cup of dirt and the jokes aren’t funny at all. It’s old retard, get a new clue. 

    8. Local real local


      Dear God in Heaven! I feel Sorry for Nancy. Nancy if you can hear me, run. Run as fast as you can. You deserve better.

    9. Dirty girty


      Please for the love of god take a shower! Wash your ass! Everyone of these people have a ten layers of filth on them. I swear if they got caught in the rain it would roll right off their heads with the amount of grease on them. Fkn nasty! Especially that Rosa, she looks like the poster of hiv

    10. Raul Mondesi


      Schadenfreude .

      And no, I don’t use FB, SC, Twitter, or IG.

      I actually found this blog after seeing it as a source multiple times on Masslive.

    11. Worc Resident


      These people, I know poor choice of words, weren’t “maintaining a common nuisance”, they are a common nuisance. Who looks at themselves in the mirror in the morning, sees their hair like that and says to themselves, “yeah that looks good, I think I’ll keep it like that all day long”. Take a damn shower.

    12. Well, No Shit


      These creatures are permanently lost. See the vacant, soulless void behind their eyes? Gone. Beyond help. Beyond saving. 

      Their only purpose in this world is to destroy everyone who loves them, or cares about them in any way. These parasites will slowly drain those around them, and then die in some shithole, leaving devastation and sorrow behind them. All because they selfishly chose to do this to themselves and others. 

      No sympathy for the lost; only for those they leave behind. 

      1. mitch


        You cannot save them…they MUST save themselves. They have what i call a “malignant narcissism”. They simply do not care about anyone or anything, period. Their addiction comes first, ABOVE ALL ELSE !! They will degrade themselves and others, they will be put in prisons, they will end up in ICU’s on ventilators and that will not stop them. It is either prison or death.. or they can choose to save themselves…redemption. It doesn’t happen often, but it happens. Half of my family, including my ex-wife , and more people than i can count have killed themselves with booze or drugs. They did it to themselves, if they don’t want to stop than nobody can help them. Some pull their head out of their ass and stop, it’s possible.

    13. RI Makes MA Look Like Heaven


      Mr. Right looks like the world’s oldest Zika head baby.

    14. WPD loves Varas


      Bitch look like fuckin Naruto wit them lines on her face lol

    15. Let me up, I've had enough


      The real life Side Show Bob.

    16. Jack Mehoff


      Look at those mugshots lol the only one smiling clearly swallowed the stash
      NO fucking way Rosa is 30 bitch looks like skelator with her head stuck in a condor nest…. RI is the asshole of America 

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