All-Star Criminals

Two Idiots Who Claim They Were Robbed Because Of Pokemon Were Obviously Trying To Sell Gun Illegally

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This is a really shady story with a really misleading headline from the Worcester Police Department Facebook page:

Two Men Robbed While Playing Pokemon Go Game

Worcester, MA (July 14, 2016) – On Wednesday, July 13, 2016 at approximately 7:25 PM, Worcester police responded to the area of Stockholm and Cornhill Streets for a report of an armed robbery of an individual. Upon the officers arrival they met with two male victims, one is 22-years-old while the other is 25-years-old. According to the 25-year-old victim, he and his friend were sitting in his car when they were approached by two males and robbed at gunpoint.

The victim stated that he and a friend were playing the new Pokemon Go game and ended up on Stockholm Street as the game progressed. While at the intersection of Stockholm and Cornhill Streets the victim observed a vehicle drive past them on several occasions. The suspect vehicle, a silver/grey sedan, parked a short distance from them. Two males approached the victim’s vehicle; the first male approached the passenger side window, reached inside and took the keys out of the ignition. The other suspect approached the driver’s side, produced a gun, pointed it at the driver and demanded his “stuff.” The 25-year-old victim handed the suspect his Ruger 9mm handgun and cash. After taking the weapon the suspect struck the victim in the head with the handle of the gun (pistol whipped). The victim suffered a small cut on his head. Worcester EMS responded to the scene and treated his wound.

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The 22-year-old victim stated that his wallet, cash and his car keys were taken from one of the suspects. The second victim was unhurt during this incident. The suspects were described as two black males. The first suspect is approximately 5’8”, mid 20’s, clean shaven and wearing a grey shirt. The second suspect is approximately 5’6” and wearing a black shirt. No further description provided. Members of the WPD Detective Bureau arrived at the scene and interviewed the victim’s. Officers at the scene broadcasted the suspect information city wide and to several surrounding towns. The suspects at this time were not located.

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I love how the spin on this is that they got robbed while playing Pokemon. Because blaming everything on Pokemon is so hot right now. Newsflash – these two idiots could’ve gotten robbed doing anything. They could’ve been checking their Facebook, riding the turtle, or picking up hookers. So long as they weren’t paying attention to their surroundings they were sitting ducks.

Everything about this story is shady and makes zero sense. And obviously there’s a lot the victims aren’t saying, because they’re probably not really victims anyway. For instance, this part:

Two males approached the victim’s vehicle; the first male approached the passenger side window, reached inside and took the keys out of the ignition.

So the two victims were sitting in a car. Two guys approach the car on both sides. So how does the guy on the passenger side take the keys out? That means he reached across the body of one of the victims to do so. And the victims presumably allowed this to happen because they were trying to capture a Pikachu.

And then there’s this part:

“the victim observed a vehicle drive past them on several occasions”

So they were well aware that a shady individual in a silver car was passing by them repeatedly. Then they saw that car park and the two guys in the car approached them. Yet despite this they did not reach for their gun, which seems to completely defeat the purpose of carrying a firearm. Unless of course they didn’t see the bad guys approaching because they were too consumed with Pokemon. It’s the perfect alibi these days.

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But by far the shadiest part of their story was this:

The other suspect approached the driver’s side, produced a gun, pointed it at the driver and demanded his “stuff.” The 25-year-old victim handed the suspect his Ruger 9mm handgun and cash. After taking the weapon the suspect struck the victim in the head with the handle of the gun (pistol whipped).

So let me get this straight. Two bad guys are driving around the city looking specifically for people who are playing Pokemon to rob, because they’re sitting ducks. They find two schmucks and demand their “stuff.” But they don’t know what that “stuff” is because they don’t know who the victims are. And then the victim just happens to hand over a gun that he ends up getting pistol whipped with?

Yea, that sounds believable. Must’ve been their lucky day. Of all the people they could rob they just happened to pick two guys with a concealed weapon that they didn’t end up using.

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Here’s my question – if this story is real, then why would he hand over the gun? The bad guys demanded the “stuff.” But if you were robbing two guys playing Pokemon, would you assume that the “stuff” included a gun? Of course not. If I robbed two idiots in their young 20’s playing Pokemon, I’d expect that the victims would hand over a pack of starburst, $5, and if I were lucky, some weed. That’s about it. The “victims” easily could’ve held onto their gun, because why would these two strangers assume they had a gun?

The answer is simple – they were there to sell the bad guys the gun illegally. The bad guys obviously knew they had a gun and had no intention of paying for it. Then they pistol whipped him just to remind him of what a stupid little bitch he is. Afterwards the “victims” felt violated and didn’t know what to do. They wanted to call the cops but obviously couldn’t tell them it was a gun sale gone wrong. So then one of them said, “let’s blame it on Pokemon.” After all, everything is being blamed on Pokemon right now, and two dumbass white kids in Quinsig village fit the bill.

In hindsight they were better off doing nothing, and better hope the cops don’t catch the bad guys. Because when they do the bad guys’ lawyers will more than likely produce text messages or emails in which the “victims” expressed their interest to sell the bad guys their gun.

Boom. Mystery solved.

 

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5 Comment(s)
  • ProfessorM
    July 16, 2016 at 5:55 am

    Since I have some free time I figured I’d post about this. People who like Pokemon should eat a bullet and die. There are so many better things you could do with your free time like rag on the losers that post on Turtleboy all day long.

  • July 15, 2016 at 11:24 am

    What’s your favorite Pokemon?

    • Michelle
      July 15, 2016 at 2:13 pm

      Lol jigglybrain and Poki-doof

    • dooshnozzle
      July 15, 2016 at 8:55 pm

      Ruger-Loo

  • BobnMic
    July 15, 2016 at 4:19 am

    25 y.o. victim will be queried through the MA Criminal Justice Information System (CJIS) as to whether he has and/or owns:

    – An criminal background check known as a triple I or III followed by,
    – A LTC (License to Carry) in Massachusetts check,
    – What if any firearms are registered to him check,

    Just to start – all depending on what the interviews/statements were like leading investigators toward and what path to pursue. 25 y.o. victim better have a LTC and a Ruger 9mm registered to him. Other scenarios may exist as well but no LTC and no registered Ruger then 25 y.o. old victim has some explaining to do.

    Again many more scenarios are possible in a case like this. Example: LTC valid, Rugger registered but gun stolen was something else (unregistered firearm) so knowing this 25 y.o. victim says it was his Rugger that was stolen but he still has the Rugger. It can go on and on but the WPD DB will figure it out and get it right. They always do.

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