All-Star Criminals

Vicky Vicodin Caught Stealing $15K Ring From Old Folks Home She Cleans, Has Been Raising Money For Baby She’s Pretending To Adopt From Meth Head Her Husband Knocked Up

 

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Fox BangorA woman accused of stealing a ring valued at more than $15,000 was in a Bangor court Friday afternoon. Bangor Police Lieutenant Brent Beaulieu says Cynthia Daigle, the owner of Cynthia’s Cleaning Service, allegedly stole the diamond while cleaning a Bangor woman’s house. Police recovered the missing diamond when they executed a search warrant at Daigle’s Hermon home Thursday. After the search, Bangor police arrested the 35-year-old and charged her with theft. Friday afternoon, a judge set bail for Daigle at $5,000. According to the Penobscot County Jail’s web site, Daigle was released on bail Friday afternoon. Beaulieu says anyone who has used Daigle’s cleaning service is advised to contact police if they believe anything is missing from their home.

In fairness, getting arrested on February 14 for stealing is the easiest way to get you some much needed Valentine’s Day scissoring.

Her Facebook bio is everything.

She’s a Mom of 6 who ain’t got tie or no stealing, lying, or cheating! She might only have custody of one of them, and she’s probably going to jail for a while, but that don’t mean she’s an unfit mother.

Can’t make this stuff up.

This slippery slopqueef works for the Ross Manor Nursing home.

I understand that the victim in this case was an elderly person who probably didn’t know any better, but if Vicky Vicodin here shows up at your front door to clean your jewelry….

Your ass is getting ROBBED. This is why you should almost always judge a book by its cover. Sure, once in a while a completely innocent person will be judged unfairly, but 98% of the time, it works every time.

A quick look at the condition of her own ratchet lair should’ve disqualified her from ever obtaining a job in anything that involves cleanliness.

This woman is arguably the most legendary ratchet in Maine, which is no easy feat since Maine is filled with bewhiskered women whose lone skill involves obtaining doctor’s ledgers so they can write themselves prescriptions for OCs. This is what it looks like when you’ve burned every bridge possible in the state of Maine.

Here’s my personal favorite.

She got so high that she tried to sell donated gifts back to the chick who donated the gifts to her. That’s legendary junkie behavior.

And can someone please inform Andrew Okusko that she can’t fuck him if she’s in jail?

Hope she sees this bro!

Then there was that time she made up a lie that her car was vandalized with “baby killer” “slut,” and “murderer” on it, after a trip to Hannaford’s.

If you don’t speak Ratchese, she’s saying that her car got tagged up with “baby killer” not because she killed a baby (that we know of), but because she was buying food for a friend of her’s who had been accused of killing a baby. That friend would be this ratchet featured on Turtleboy in September.

Kim Nelligan, AKA the Relapsipotamus. Because….of course they’re friends. It’s Maine.

She waited until her friend got arrested a year after killing her own baby to start selling t-shirts for the dead child without asking Kim Nelligan’s permission.

Now that Cynthia’s locked up the real baby killer is getting revenge on the friend who tried profiting off of her crime 5 months ago by posting their private conversations on the BPD Facebook page (which is a hilarious follow).

Sadly for her she was not welcomed in the Internet pile-on.

 

The krusty klepto is constantly looking for free shit on Facebook so she can sell it and go call Diego for her next fix.

When she’s not doing that she’s scamming people into getting as close to their homes as possible.

Yea if you need 18 inches of Maine snowfall shoveled from your driveway don’t use a snowblower, just call up old track mark Trish here.

Just like the State of Maine – she’s used to being covered in white shit.

All this crime isn’t her fault though cuz she got that disease that’s been going around.

The one that makes you steal your best friend’s ATM card and drain their bank account and blame it on a disease.

But by far her most amazing lie is the one she’s been telling for the last week or so. She’s been posting about how her husband David knocked up a 21 year old meth head she’s given the name Jamie Lynn, who is somehow more ratchet than she is, and the State of Maine is giving Cynthia full legal custody of this crotch fruit even though she’s lost custody of all but one of her six real crotch fruits.

Amazing.

Why is she pretending to be adopting meth addicted crotch fruit #7? Either she’s a) fishing for baby donations she could then sell for crack money, or b) plotting to cut a pregnant bitch open and go full Ralph Northum on the semen demon inside. It’s Maine, so anything is possible. By the looks of the ultrasound pictures she posted the day before she was arrested, it appears to be A.

 

And a quick reverse image search for that yields….

She’s even named her imaginary poon polyp and misspelled his name in the most ironic way possible, considering her current status.

She Googled Lian and spelt it wrong.

Google corrected it for her.

She spelt it Liaem again.

Maine.

Her husband David showed up to defend her honor in the comments under the ultrasound picture to explain how they were actually duped by another woman pretending to be pregnant who he didn’t impregnate after all.

Totally fooled!!

All this infidelity has given poor Cynthia a case of the sads.

So why isn’t she dumping her husband? Oh, ya know, he’s got the “sec addiction” disease.

Plus, everyone’s man cheats on them.

David is eternally grateful that he’s allowed to impregnate random meth heads and be given a second or third or fourth chance.

David himself is in on the scam of course too.

You gotta do what you gotta do when Z107.3 doesn’t follow through with those free tickets to the Bangor Fair.

Anyway, it’s a shame this happened because Cynthia had just found ratchet Jesus and was turning her life around.

And she’s so close to figure out the ages of all her DCF trophies.

Something tells me her and Kim Nelligan are gonna meet up very soon and she’s finally gonna get the proceeds from the t-shirt sales.

 

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64 Comment(s)
  • Greg
    February 22, 2020 at 10:28 pm

    If only Mountain Dew could be formulated to cause sterilization.

  • The Avon Lady
    February 18, 2020 at 10:05 pm

    I bet she bought her vanity table on half price day at Salvation Army, then stopped at the local dollar store to stock up on makeup.

  • Truth
    February 18, 2020 at 10:04 am

    Nursing homes should be shut down.

    • T R
      February 21, 2020 at 4:58 am

      Another fine choice for the squeaky piston in the pudding pipe.
      Fuckin online scammers taking advantage of others’ good nature, they’re close to the worst, pretty much.
      Maybe truss this one up and hefty bag her head while doing my thing. They thrash a bit as the oxygen becomes less available. Pull the seal just as she starts to gulp and the eyes roll back.

  • Andrea Grocer
    February 18, 2020 at 7:32 am

    She’s probably so constipated she could give birth to a fudge dragon.

  • Dick Scratcher
    February 18, 2020 at 3:34 am

    Dear Dump Truck,
    Thank you for referencing the UK, Health Service and Welfare State.

    These are 2 things that those of us in the UK are very proud of and rightfully so. Providing for people according to their needs.

    Sadly, it’s not always about “needs”. During the great depression people’s pride meant they didn’t want charity – they wanted the opportunity to work for a living and provide for their families.

    Unfortunately, the safety net of the Welfare State in the UK has become a victim of its own success. People have now got used to abusing the system. They used to be a tiny minority, but now they are a significant number if not the majority.

    So what does this mean? – it means we’re now breeding a 2nd or 3rd generation of scroungers. People who have never worked a day in their lives just following in their equally idle parents’ footsteps and collecting their benefits every week and firing out semen demons at a rate of knots whilst those of us in work pay for all this as the system creaks and groans under the burden of the growing number of feckless, indolent, lazy twats.

    It’s a great system, but it’s flawed and it’s at breaking point. So careful what you reference as some sort of pillar of greatness that the USA should look up to.

    DS

    PS Rant over.

    • Nelsons Blood
      February 18, 2020 at 4:26 am

      Cheers

    • Eric Idle
      February 18, 2020 at 7:28 am

      Wink wink nudge nudge. Say no more.

      • Dick Scratcher
        February 18, 2020 at 8:49 am

        Is your wife a goer? Does she go?
        Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Know what I mean?

    • Lipstick Hippie
      February 18, 2020 at 3:09 pm

      So true. Welfare, unemployment, workers compensation…all the programs that began with good intent to provide temporary assistance to those in need…have become careers to these slugs. Ask their kids what they want to be when they grow up, they’ll say they want to be on welfare, just like mom – but not dad, cause mom don’t know where (or who) he is.

  • Silencio Dogood
    February 17, 2020 at 11:56 pm

    i believe i saw one of my Bic pens in one of her photos. as a junky, trying to get my house clean first, i resent this breach of trust in another diseasy person.

  • Horatio Nelson
    February 17, 2020 at 10:16 pm

    Plymouth Rock Vandals.508
    Clearly Bernie supporters.

  • Giulia
    February 17, 2020 at 9:30 pm

    Welcome to northern Maine. A beautiful little place where the family trees have no branches.

  • Amanda Sawyers Criminal Son
    February 17, 2020 at 8:24 pm

    I would bring her to McDonalds on a date …Then choke
    the ever living shit out of her.Then I would eat the rest of
    her fries.Mom does not feed me.

  • Peter Dinklage
    February 17, 2020 at 8:19 pm

    Her floor is much cleaner than Amanda Sawyers

  • Bob Murchison
    February 17, 2020 at 8:10 pm

    I would dump a pile of penis butter on her chest.

  • Abe Vigodas Ghost
    February 17, 2020 at 7:52 pm

    Nice Breasticles

  • Haverhill Landlord
    February 17, 2020 at 7:13 pm

    I’m absolutely speechless. I can’t even find a snide comment.

    Her and her husband both need to be taken into the woods and shot in the head.

    P.S. “America’s Vacationland” my ass.

  • Spic Tormentor
    February 17, 2020 at 2:34 pm

    She would probably let you donkey punch her for a perc 30

  • AngryWhiteDad
    February 17, 2020 at 1:46 pm

    As a skinny junkie lover, this girl is beyond hot, to me. I’m always in the market for a nice parasitic piece of ass and would love to bury my face in her baby hole.

    If she really has 6 kids, that is concerning but wouldn’t keep me away from this hot mess. Also, her extreme reproduction rate would guarantee that she wouldn’t mention condoms, allowing for a nice raw dawg session, as always.

    With all of this said, other than the Venezuelan hooker that I banged in Mexico 2 years ago, NOT ONE girl I’ve been with has asked or even mentioned condoms since i was in high school in the early 90s. Amazingly, the only std I’ve ever gotten was from the Venezuelan who sucked my dick raw. I only found out because after returning from Mexico my now ex got the thrash in her throat after felattioing me 2 days after my return.

    Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. Raw dawg, always.

  • Jen Italia
    February 17, 2020 at 1:35 pm

    Wait, is she saying that if “baby David” were still around, she would have proudly cranked out a poon polyp 1 per year for Six Consecutive Years?? OMFG does this dirtball literally bathe in a tub full of semen? Please pass the fentanyl!

  • Steamer Trunk
    February 17, 2020 at 1:23 pm

    I have less square footage in me than this woman’s vagina. But I smell better.

  • DUMP TRUCK
    February 17, 2020 at 12:43 pm

    If she had universal basic income like every other civilized society, she wouldn’t have to resort to this type of behavior. Why is it in other parts of the world their country’s government respect them as human beings and makes sure they are set up for success as an adult, while in AMERICA we tell them too bad your on you’re own. This country disgusts me.

    • Hugh-Bo Mont
      February 17, 2020 at 1:02 pm

      Well then GTFO!!!

      • Said Everyone
        February 17, 2020 at 2:25 pm

        Spot on Hugh. Why do the workers need to support those that don’t? Fuck her and fuck you for thinking like a moron. I hope you never vote and while you’re at it have some of these fine citizens move into your home. What a stupid comment

        • DUMP TRUCK
          February 17, 2020 at 2:56 pm

          Because it works everywhere else. It works in Canada. It works in England. It works in Venezuela. In Cuba they have the highest literacy rates in the world after China. And yet in America we instead elect racists to the presidency, ban gays from voting, leave no taxes for the wealthy, and pay policemen to murder black and brown people who get too close to white neighborhoods. And then we point and laugh at people like this poor lady who can’t find a job so she has to resort to this behavior since we do not have universal basic income. This is a disgrace.

          • Frank
            February 17, 2020 at 4:15 pm

            Hahahahaha “it works in Venezuela” you have to be a troll, they eat their fucking pets right now because there’s no food, the government has to pass out toilet paper

          • DUMP TRUCK
            February 17, 2020 at 4:41 pm

            Actually no Frank you are thinking of El Salvador or Honduras

          • Corinth Arkadin
            February 17, 2020 at 10:10 pm

            It doesn’t work.

            End. Period. Full Stop.

    • America
      February 17, 2020 at 2:48 pm

      please leave the country, you are a piece of shit.

    • NFTG
      February 17, 2020 at 5:09 pm

      Dump Truck? More like Dumb Fuck. So which story was about you fuckstick.

      • DUMP TRUCK
        February 17, 2020 at 8:45 pm

        You are a detriment to society. You are the reason progressives like AOC and Omar will continue to get elected into office and make REAL change instead of just talking a big game.

        • Turtle Rider For Life Biaaach
          February 17, 2020 at 11:14 pm

          Seriously consider suicide Dump Truck. No one here will miss you.

  • Lee Ho
    February 17, 2020 at 12:04 pm

    A walking talking sperm bank.

    From Bangor, or is it Bang-her ME.

  • Bill Clinton
    February 17, 2020 at 11:27 am

    I’d hit it.

    • Stunt Penis
      February 17, 2020 at 11:31 am

      Six kids. Her snatch no doubt looks like an Arby’s Brisket Bacon Beef n Cheddar sandwich. With extra cheese.

      Best thing about banging junkies though is you never have to worry about getting a fatty.

  • Jerry Quarry
    February 17, 2020 at 11:24 am

    She loved to take uppercuts to the sphincter with 16oz. training gloves. Great sparring partner.

  • Time for a career change?
    February 17, 2020 at 11:23 am

    Selling illegal drugs must be one of the most lucrative occupations these days, especially in rural areas. With customers like this woman, how could you lose? The push for decriminalization of all illegal activity (thanks Rachel!) gives this occupation an unusually bright outlook. Hedge your bets and sell donated Narcan on the side.

    • JimmyBooms
      February 17, 2020 at 2:51 pm

      True if you want to get paid in a broken baby stroller and used diapers.

  • ElJefe72
    February 17, 2020 at 11:03 am

    It never ceases to amaze me how all the ratchets that Uncle Turtleboy exposes are somehow related or connected to another ratchet that was exposed by Uncle Turtleboy before.

    • The angry taint
      February 17, 2020 at 2:32 pm

      We need to start playing 6 degrees of ratchedness

      • ElJefe72
        February 17, 2020 at 4:01 pm

        I think 6 degrees is a little generous.

  • Hugh Jass
    February 17, 2020 at 10:48 am

    My favorite part is where her sister suggests we cut off her hands to prevent her from stealing.

  • Frank
    February 17, 2020 at 10:43 am

    But but it’s not my fault I’m an addict. Nobody’s fucking responsible for anything except trump supporters they can’t be victims because we all labeled them nazis

  • Casey
    February 17, 2020 at 10:33 am

    Mayor Pete buttfuck and his husband
    Can you picture those two cicksuckers in the whitehouse

    Wow wow

    • Kermit the Frog
      February 18, 2020 at 8:33 am

      Yeah. It’s brings back memories of Barry and Michael

  • Junkie Face
    February 17, 2020 at 10:30 am

    This bitch literally has one face, and she uses it in all of her selfies. Look at those sunken in eyes. The eyes of a soulless junkie.

  • Toomuchtimeonherhands
    February 17, 2020 at 10:09 am

    Deport them back to Germany!!

  • Hugh Mungous
    February 17, 2020 at 10:03 am

    Common sense hysterectomies might help. Abolishing narcan as well. To quote a commenter here,
    We R Fucked

    • WeRFucked
      February 17, 2020 at 11:15 am

      Finally… someone gets it.

      Six kids. You think they’ll all grow up to be productive members of society? No way. No doubt Narcan Nancy her is already a grandmother.

  • Dick Scratcher
    February 17, 2020 at 10:00 am

    Limerick of the Day

    If you visit the good state of Maine
    Beware Madame Cyn, she’s a pain.
    Her cunt smells like trout,
    And has fired six kids out
    So by now it could swallow a train.

    Dick Scratcher, aged 29 and a teeny bit.

    • Dick Scratcher
      February 17, 2020 at 10:27 am

      Alternative Limerick of the Day

      Watch out for this Vicodin Vicky
      Her vagina is rancid and sticky,
      If you go down on Cyn
      You might just fall in,
      And getting back out is quite tricky.

      Dick Scratcher, aged 48.91 (2 dp)

    • Debbie McCallister
      February 17, 2020 at 12:04 pm

      Your limericks kill me everytime!

      • Dick Scratcher
        February 17, 2020 at 1:38 pm

        My pleasure.

        I have great fun concocting them.

  • Poops Magee
    February 17, 2020 at 9:57 am

    Definitely seems like the type of chick that likes to be defecated on during sex. Just give or so men squatting over her, violently voiding and vacating their bowels all over her face while she smears it in. Covered in pounds and pounds of fecal matter… a literal shit show.

  • Maine-E-ax
    February 17, 2020 at 9:48 am

    What’s the difference between a girl from Maine and a moose….. a flannel shirt.

    How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Maine……if it was invented anywhere else it would be called a teethbrush.

    • whatevuh
      February 17, 2020 at 5:40 pm

      What’s the nicest compliment you can give a girl from Maine? Nice tooth

  • F*U
    February 17, 2020 at 9:32 am

    Maine should offer free fentanyl to wipe these losers out!

  • Bangawww!
    February 17, 2020 at 9:32 am

    Ah, my hometown. This chick is the QUEEN OF THA NAWTH!

  • Cheesemo
    February 17, 2020 at 9:23 am

    What a hideous looking cunt

  • Natasha
    February 17, 2020 at 9:17 am

    “Two things I will never be is….” yikes.

  • Said Nobody
    February 17, 2020 at 8:55 am

    What a nice girl. Maine really is a nice place to raise a family, especially where she grew up

  • Ted Bundys VW
    February 17, 2020 at 8:52 am

    Yes

    • Richard Ramirez
      February 17, 2020 at 10:18 am

      Target acquired Ted! Put your cast on and grab the tire iron!

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