Hoodrat Heroes

Video: Three Taunton Chudcrips Jump Potential Night School Prom Queen After She Tried To Rob Them With Xeroxed Dollahs. 

It’s time to napalm Taunton.

4ba27317-991b-4352-b70d-f489eadcfdef (1)

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Our Facebook page is suspended again, so make sure you to LIKE THE LOST BOYS OF TURTLE Facebook page to keep up with our latest blogs.

Our Facebook page is suspended again, so make sure you to LIKE THE LOST BOYS OF TURTLE Facebook page to keep up with our latest blogs.

Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM






You know I rarely warn you guys about stuff but the amount of ghetto speak in this next blog is only amplified by the fact that they’re teenagers from Taunton. It gave me a headache. So, take some aleve. You’ll thank me. 

You know, it’s not often that we here at Turtleboy miss something. Our Turtlestaff and Turtleriders are vultures when it comes to digging up information and getting the whole picture. However, we’ve been so damn busy lately that we missed all of sorts of good drama under the surface of that Taunton GoFundMe for drug money.

Taunton Junior Hoodrat Starts $800 GoFundMe To Raise Money For Dope, Because “I’m Just A Fein To Be Honest”

Seems that GoFundMe page was a fake made for the sole purpose of getting back at that Taunton walking manbun, Michael Keegan. He, and two of his boys, Damon Davis, and Kyle Crotty, happened to have jumped a 16 year old girl over a drug deal gone wrong. This is one of the most unbelievable Taunton ratchet stories I’ve ever seen. Three guys, who admittedly sling drugs to their teen Taunton homies, apparently got sick of Ana Garlaza passing them off counterfeit bills for her drug transactions, and decided to jump her. 

Now which drug it was I’m not sure of. I’m thinking its xanex, but she references smoking weed too, so who knows. 

SHE is apologizing for typos? At least I could read hers!

I’M DEAD😂💯🐢💃

Normally, I use terms like “allegedly” but these sleazy assholes are admitting it on Facebook, and the hoodsie that got jumped is reveling in her Facebook fame. That incident of Ana getting her ass beat by three guys? Well, we got it on film because, of course, it’s Taunton.

Can we pause here and ask where are the fucking parents here? Your sixteen year-old daughter is out buying drugs with fake money, gets her ass beat for it, and you’re nowhere to be found. You also have 16, 17, and 18 year-old guys beating up girls and selling drugs? Parents? Anywhere? Are the mothers freebasing? This was the only mention of a parent on the entire thread: 

Oh, right. Threatening to shoot kids. Now I know Taunton is a shit hole but it’s like Lord of the fucking Flies on the Green.

The person who filmed the video, Jeanna Jones, didn’t stop to help her friend Ana. She just drove off after uploading it online. Ah, millennials. How we know the world is going to hell in a hand basket.

So, to get back at the chudmuffins who beat Ana up, her posse created the GoFundMe (which we reported on here) to get back at Keegan the Queef. They’ve also set up GFM one so that half the kids in town can fund a space for a brawl to settle the score. 

You can’t make this shit up. I had to literally study what these ghetto mops were saying. It’s the most illegible hood speak I’ve ever seen. I ended up giving myself a migraine trying to piece the story together.

Eventually, while all of these pathetic little slam snacks continuously bickered online, the head fuck boi, Keegan, issues a video apology to Ana.


1. You’re white.

2. It easier to remember what you’re saying when you haven’t taken a fist-full of benzos

3. Nice near-nod off you dickless twit.

Another person that seems to be at the center of this is: 

Sloppy Jizz sock with a Voc stache. He’s pals with the drug-dealing girl-beaters. He also specializes in drugging up chicks to screw them. 

It’s also somehow totally normal in Taunton to slip some of that Xanex you’re slinging in to the drinks of underage girls you want to bang. It’s how they all confess to getting laid. I can’t even think of a good enough insult. I think only Killoran could do these assholes Justice.

If you get them so sleepy they fall asleep then it makes it easier to rape them. Rape is a great sport in Taunton!

What I would like to know is where the Taunton PD is in all this?  These kids are all over Facebook, openly selling drugs, beating up anyone that crosses their path, and apparently raping drugged up minors. It didn’t take long to pop up on my radar -you guys have got to have seen this. None of them attend school. There are no parents to be found. They are just wandering the streets and lowering property values. Get em boys.






We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.


Screen Shot 2017-02-01 at 10.32.58 AM

Screen Shot 2015-12-28 at 1.20.12 PM

Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM

4ba27317-991b-4352-b70d-f489eadcfdef (1)

30 Comment(s)
  • emanual
    April 6, 2017 at 12:55 am

    this young girl is lucky she didnt become a victom of the asain boy crips. and the chuds they make you beleave the gang is your friend and that they got your back anyhting from rapeing young girls to cutting peoples face and killing …they should be shamed and it should be notted whos behind the recruitment

  • emanual
    April 6, 2017 at 12:50 am

    this is a recruitment pool by jason webb. from fallriver he is in jail at the ashstreet newbedford the asain boy crips have this set beat up and rape young girls etc.. the asain boys are responsible ..stupid gang members

  • shits gay
    February 25, 2017 at 7:12 am

    Wack lmao she acted like a nigga got treated like a nigga and cried like a bitch to fb

    • Stu Pidazzo
      February 25, 2017 at 7:30 am

      Can you put the fucking phone down and take my order, please. Medium, black. Don’t ask me if I want it hot or iced? Coffee is supposed to be hot! Move it, dipshit!

  • shits gay
    February 25, 2017 at 7:06 am

    so she acted like a nigga then is a bitch when she gets treated like a nigga lmao ight

  • Nicole
    February 24, 2017 at 10:10 pm

    What in the hell is wrong with these kids? For real this is our future generation? So disgusted. You all should be playing with barbie dolls and video games at this age.. hasn’t this city seen enough overdoses and deaths to realize this shit isn’t cool. I’m 29 and I know for a fact when my ass was 16 I wasn’t out on the streets hustling and buying drugs. Go get fucking jobs at McDonalds like normal 16 year Olds and apply for college. Keep this shit up and your mom’s and dad’s will be picking out your caskets in about a year from now. Pissed me the fuck off that these entitled little assholes don’t want to work hard for their money and quite frankly have turned taunton into scum. I grew up in berkley and no where is perfect I lost my brother 5 months ago to a heart attack who worked his ass off and was a decent human being and I see these fucking people jeopardizing their lives and not giving a fuck about anyone but themselves. And as far ass you low life little fucking cowards jumping a woman shows how pathetic and weak you are. Step up to a man and see who’s tough. You are what’s wrong with this country. Get help because life is too short to amount to notbing. As far as that young girl goes… your better than that be a strong young woman and get out of this game it’s ugly and ends in death jail or institutions. Find a local N A meeting and get your shit together all of you. Your embarassing our city and making the rest of us scared knowing this is our future generationm make your fucking mark on this planet. Slap in God’s face to be here and amount to nothing. I’m scared for my 5 year old to grow up in a world with coward ass pisses like you. Fucking step up and be men . Walpole won’t be fun and that’s where tall are headed. Rant over.. you disgust me.

  • ZephyrCat
    February 24, 2017 at 3:12 pm

    I remember years ago, my friends father said that historically the lower classed would try to imitate the upper classes so as to present themselves better. But in the good ol’ U S of A we’ve managed to get every generation coming up to emulate the dirtbags And lowlifes. The prison population. This was 20 years ago he said this. Thank God he didn’t live long enough to see white suburban kids say “where he be at” and other shit. And call each other “ni**a’s so casually like it’s the most normal thing in the world. Can we still go further down from here? We’ve become a joke. A fucking joke. Parents? Haha, right. They probably are somewhere freebasing.

  • Lenny
    February 24, 2017 at 10:42 am

    Fuck that faggot ass n Keegan and his fat ass Crotty friend.

  • BobnMic
    February 24, 2017 at 10:09 am

    I’m a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and…I like to kiss my own butt.

  • February 24, 2017 at 9:43 am

    You’ve got two more comments left before to bot automatically thinks you’re spam and blocks all your comments. Oh, and I found out I can edit comments too! Let’s the reign of no Bob begin!

  • Diane Woods emerson
    February 24, 2017 at 9:15 am

    I am going to start a petition to demand a special task force through the police depts. that is strictly to follow up on TBS news. I really don’t understand why 57 (I don’t really know this, but it was a lot) cop cars and cops can show up on a Sunday in Worcester for a bunch of masked morauders roaming the streets, but it doesn’t seem like anyone is patrolling the Internet. For instance , Gardner has this great big , new station that should be able to house a decent cyber unit, and yet that town is a hub of drug dealing, baby hatching , crack head morons. I am genuinely confused , but thankful, why TBS is the only vocal outlet and turtle riders are the best! I would also like to know if there is feedback to TBS in any way after we all report this shit each time? The morons keep posting the stupid shit so word is not spreading quite as fast as I would expect, or they are really really brain dead.

  • Tired of the BobnMic show
    February 24, 2017 at 8:19 am

    I am relatively new to this web page BUT, what I have seen from BobnMic and BobnMic and Zephyrcat et al is not only confusing and boring but has crossed the line into threatening. Can you please just leave the comment section for, uhmmm, comments?? Novel idea, I know….

    • BobnMic
      February 24, 2017 at 8:30 am

      Sounds like you wanna get a private chat room with me and Cannon John!

  • whatevuh
    February 24, 2017 at 8:14 am

    My urban dictionary just caught on fire

  • Lugia
    February 24, 2017 at 8:06 am

    I’m from Taunton and this is disappointing. Not everyone is like this. These people give other teenagers a bad name here.

  • General Consensus
    February 24, 2017 at 6:41 am

    Um bob….calling someone a nazi and then making veiled threats isn’t how you go about apologizing and trying to make things better.

    Did a brain injury happen to you when you were an officer or were you just born a dick like this?

  • BobnPaul's Chat Shack
    February 24, 2017 at 6:11 am


  • Lauren
    February 24, 2017 at 2:04 am

    Lmfao, wow shocking this makes Brockton look amazing. Atleast out here the junkies to brag are over 18 and do hardcore drugs like heroin not Xanax. Because really, as an adult “Xanax” addict who has their boyfriend come home to murder their drug dealer with a shovel at midnight? Atleast in Brockton there’s legit junkies that are of age with murder charges.

    • Fukcyuo
      February 24, 2017 at 8:24 am

      How is that something to brag about lol

  • You suck
    February 24, 2017 at 1:16 am

    You do not do research that’s why u reported it wrong the first time too, u know nothing of Taunton and shows you have the experience of a dropout journalist working at McDonald’s actually do research next time and you’ll see how much the story gets spun by you. You have no decency for people if u post multiple pictures of almost everybody involved in the jumping, delete your blog

    • Igxitddt
      February 24, 2017 at 1:57 am

      You and everyone from that shit town should be thrown into a volcano. How do people even end up like this? Go learn a fucking craft and get a hobby that doesn’t involve xanax and street fights. Go watch some fucking cartoons or read a book. Build something.

      It doesn’t matter how this story is spun because it will always be about dumb hoodrats with 0 upbringing doing dumb hoodrat shit. Might as well argue about how many peanuts are in your crap. No one cares, it just needs to be flushed. Stop sucking. Get good.

    • Mommadukes????
      February 24, 2017 at 6:16 am

      The interchangeable use of “u” and you leads this turtle to believe that you are making a concerted effort to appear illiterate….

    • Fuck Taunton
      February 24, 2017 at 9:36 am

      Na Taunton deserves to be shamed

    • Brian Albrecht
      February 24, 2017 at 10:37 am

      You’re a pussy shut up. Everyone knows taunton sucks. FUCK TAUNTON and fuck those little kids bragging about Xanax. Yeah xanax is so fun guys I LOVE SLEEPING!

    • Stfu
      February 24, 2017 at 3:15 pm

      Oh let me guess your from that swill-pit or possibly one of the hoodrats involved and that’s why your crying. Research what- its all right there in black and white.

    • Concerned Mama
      February 24, 2017 at 10:46 pm

      I live here… I work in the mall here… these children are not raised right, they act like animals and their parents should be ashamed. They have ruined this city and it was better when my generation (which is really only 10-15 years their senior) was the age they are. They make this place look pathetic. There was literally NOTHING I read here that I did not agree with! It’s a damn shame. These kids need to get back in the classroom and realize they’re not going anywhere in life with the way they act accept to an early grave. If they don’t kill each other it will be the stupid decisions they make that kill them… as for TPD they don’t do anything. These kids “apologize” and all is forgiven for them to go back to making the world suck for the rest of us

  • Roofies R Kool
    February 24, 2017 at 1:11 am

    Build the wall around Taunton and pay for it with food stamps and xeroxed dolla dolla billz, YO!

  • Dumbass
    February 24, 2017 at 12:29 am

    Head spinning not sure what I just was reading. All I know is wow.

  • DYS
    February 23, 2017 at 11:10 pm

    No fathers involved with them, guaranteed.

  • John Barker
    February 23, 2017 at 10:52 pm

    You’ve always warned us to grab a beer..I have no Aleve..I tried anyways…NOPE, saving this for tomorrow when I’ve had 4 less beers..

Comment on this Post


All-Star Worcester Parents Lay Siege To School Bus, Beat Up Bus Driver, Then Write Magnificent Things On Facebook
Comments From The Worcester Parent Bus Riot Blog Were Borderline Orgasmic
Hot Girl Threatening To Sue Turtleboy Sports Over Busgate, City Council Still Hasn’t Even Mentioned It