All-Star Criminals

Vietschlong Ex Gf Tosses Molotov Cocktail Under Vehicle, Forgets That You’re Supposed To Light It On Fire, And All To Win Back Nashua Gutterpube With Record Of Hitting Kids

Vietschlong Ex Gf Tosses Molotov Cocktail Under Vehicle, Forgets That You’re Supposed To Light It On Fire, And All To Win Back Nashua Gutterpube With Record Of Hitting Kids

Follow @LongLiveTBS on Twitter by clicking here.

Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Returns, and TB Rider to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at for more information.

If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:







Hey fam – if you’d like to support Turtleboy and what we do here, feel free to hit the donate button at the top. We basically have to run this site like a Bernie Sanders campaign now since we’ve been blacklisted by Google and Facebook, due to the fact that rabid SJWs keep reporting our posts. Getting blacklisted by Google is a death sentence for most websites, since it’s much harder to monetize. And we all know the damage Facebook has done. We’re never going to stop fighting for free speech, but in the meantime the best way for turtle riders to fight back is to donate to the cause. Without you people none of this is possible. We love you all.



This is quite the tale of Fatal Attraction, Nashua New Hampshire style. Meet Karen Dowling of Hudson, NH.



I don’t think she’d feel out of place at a trailer park one bit. The only things that picture in the plaid shirt are missing would be a baby tucked under her arm and a bud light. According to the Nashua police, on September 12, she decided to drive over to Nashua and do this:

 Via New Hamshire Union Leader:

“”This is not a (criminal) charge we see very often,” said Lt. Craig Allard of the Nashua Police Department. 

Police allege Karen Dowling, 31, of 22 Roosevelt Ave., Apt. 8, placed an unlit Molotov cocktail behind the tire of a car parked on private property in the city on Sept. 12. 

“This car, we believe, was a targeted car,” said Allard. 

Dowling, according to police, is the former girlfriend of the victim’s husband. It was the husband who discovered the incendiary device under his wife’s vehicle before the car was ever turned on or moved, they said. 

Although the incendiary device did not ignite, Allard said it had been previously lit. It’s not clear whether the device was lit when it was placed under the vehicle, he said. 

Nashua Fire Rescue disposed of the Molotov cocktail. 

“There were no injuries, and everything resolved safely,” Allard said. “


Don’t you just hate when you forget to the light the rag in your Molotov cocktail?

It appears she may have lost her eyebrows on a test throw – that’s some ghettoriffic pencil job she’s drawn on there. I would expect nothing less from the type to fashion a makeshift firebomb and forget to light it on fire, in a jealous rage over losing her clamhole stuffing to a rival cheesehog. And of course this is an act of scorn over a former yogurt slinger’s rejection. Because what else would it be? No way she’s rebelling against the plight of the working class, and she’s definitely not working for ISIS.




Also noteworthy, this vietschlong vengeance queen allegedly works for The Raytheon Company, a major U.S. defense contractor and industrial corporation that manufactures weapons and military and commercial electronics. I mean…really? What was that job interview like, really? Not only would I not trust this wombat around anything sharp, pointy or otherwise even a little dangerous, she can’t even figure out the engineering and chemistry behind filling up a bottle was kerosene, stuffing an alcohol soaked rag in it, and lighting the thing on fire? I bet even the guy who mops the floors could do that.  


I had to wonder, though, what kind of guy would make a chemically imbalanced Guerrilla Gorilla warfare trailerslug go full on villain from Diehard and try to blow up a car? Why not just, make a mix tape and cry, or fake a pregnancy, maybe send a package of old sex tapes and nudes as a gift to their wedding? Who has inspired such maddening lust and despair, and pushed her this far over this edge?

This gutterpube. Sean McCarthy, Trashua’s most eligible skidmark.



Oh, yeah. Who wouldn’t risk a felony charge for that hunk of pubes and guttermud? Check out the ghettoscript tat and girly labret piercing. I bet he’s a real crusty Wal-Mart pantry dropper with the dog filter selfie set.


These two must’ve been a shitload of fun as a couple, because it would appear Sean also enjoys his own violent criminal craziness, like faking police reports and assaulting children.



Yep, that’s a Trashua dreamboat if I’ve ever seen one!  I don’t know if I would’ve gone with the whole “glass bottle filled with volatile chemicals and stuffed with a rag” route with the new wife, were I Karen. I probably would’ve left a sympathy fruit basket or something? I don’t understand how losing this guy would merit Molotov cocktail slinging levels of anger?

And sorry, New Hampshire, but she’s currently out on bond, which was totally wise on the part of the courts. She did try her very best to turn some chick’s car into a pile of twisted burning metal over some skidmark ex boyfriend, but didn’t bother to read the manual closely enough to distinguish a Molotov from a landmine, so I guess that equals “not a threat to the community”? That math just doesn’t quite add up to me. But I guess it only counts as terrorism if you manage to light the fuse? Who knows. I just hope that if she tried any shit between now and October 25th, she tries slashing the tires with a spoon next, because that would be hilarious.


8 Comment(s)
  • sporks
    October 12, 2018 at 10:09 pm

    “she tries slashing the tires with a spoon next”

    How about a spork? Any KFCs in Nashua?

    Also, maybe it wasn’t a Molotov cocktail…maybe she was just trying to return his shake and bake meth to him.

  • Brian Sullivan
    Rooney Eats it
    October 12, 2018 at 2:43 pm

    That “trophy fish” is just a carp. Any fool can catch one of those. There are bigger ones in Curtis Pond in Webster Square. White trash with a ghetto fish!

  • 2wEntEe
    October 12, 2018 at 9:00 am

    She doesn’t look that bad from the back.

    Prob released her because she had no intent of causing destruction.

    I couldn’t imagine it would be very hard to put a bottle behind a tire so it wouldn’t be noticed.

    Prob just did it to intimidate

  • Lieutenant Dan
    October 12, 2018 at 8:38 am

    Never stick your dick in crazy, or a ginger, but I digress. I think the real crime here is that she targeted the wife and not that piece of shit Sean McCarthy who assualted a kid. Claymores girls, Claymores, 3 clicks and your troubles will soon be over.

  • Mike Crahfoan
    October 12, 2018 at 2:58 am

    1000% would


  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Mike Barnicle
    October 11, 2018 at 9:48 pm

    That’s a big fish. Reminds me of the night Kevin Cullen and I were trolling for stripers at the mouth of the canal. A story for another time perhaps.

  • Honest Abe
    October 11, 2018 at 6:40 pm

    She’s sexy in a skanky way and psycho, Would all day long!

  • Judge dread
    October 11, 2018 at 5:58 pm

    That chick is so nashua! The shirt, the hair, yah. And the mother and son picture; the mom looks like a re-animated corpse.

Comment on this Post


White Trash Hero Wears T-Shirt With His Mugshot On It From Last Time He Was Arrested At Latest Mugshot Photoshoot
Tsarnaev Sister Threatened Boyfriend’s Ex With A Bomb Because She’s A Muslim Terrorist And A Tsarnaev And This Is What They Do Best
Ladies Night At TBSports: Will Women Read Our Official Rankings Of NFL Teams Blog?