Smiles And Sunshine

Vote For Which 2 Ratchets Should Advance From The Final 4 And Compete For The Championship


Voting in the Elite 8 is officially completed and we now know who our Final 4 ratchets will be for the 2020 Turtleboy Ratchet Madness tournament of champions.

Bristol Blarney did not make the Final 4. She can’t even win at being a ratchet. But in fairness, her bracket was stacked. I thought it was interesting that when I asked turtle riders if they could pick one ratchet out of the 8, she got the most votes.

Interesting that both Bristol Blarney and Tinder Tunaflap got more votes for overall ratchet champion than the person they lost to head to head. Basically the people who hated those ratchets, REALLY hated those ratchets, and understandably so. All of them are horrible people, and I wish they all could win.

Here are your new Vegas odds. Bet $100 to win….

All of the contenders are strong. Don’t sleep on Kim Nelligan, or else she’ll put heroin on your gums to make sure you do. Just kidding, she only does that to her crotch fruits. Lorrayna has just dominated everyone up until this point, so she has to be considered the favorite. And although Kylie has yet to be challenged, Nikki Evans just destroyed Landon Steele and took out Bristol Blarney. So she’s gotta be considered a slight favorite in that matchup. But this is Ratchet Madness and anything can happen. You have 48 hours to vote for who should be in the finals. And I’m gonna do that other poll too, which will have no bearing on who advances. Click here to read their ratchet resumes on TB Daily News.


1. Lorrayna Calle vs. 3. Kim “Relapsipotamus” Nelligan

1. Lorrayna Calle


3. Kim Nelligan AKA Relapsipotamus





1. Kylie Kirkpatrick vs. 3. Nikki Evans

1. Kylie Kirkpatrick



3. Nikki Evans




20 Comment(s)
  • Nicki is a Guttermuppet
    April 30, 2020 at 9:31 am

    Why hasn’t DCYF intervened with Nicki? Why hasn’t Pat’s mother filed for emergency custody? Why hasn’t Madison’s father taken her from this psycho hose beast?!

  • Killing it!
    April 30, 2020 at 8:30 am

    someone please step in and save those children from Nikki, worst human being ever.

  • Nikki deserves HIV
    April 29, 2020 at 3:09 pm

    Nikki on this 1000% Bitch already has had two boyfriends since Pat’s death and numerous one night stands, she is nothing but a dirty rotten coke mule who will take it up the sludge hole for anything. She also recently quit her job because she is raking in so much cash from Pat’s death.

    She deserves the guillotine

  • Money on Nikki
    April 29, 2020 at 11:07 am

    Nikki is looking like a real contender and a worthless bag of flesh. What she did to that man speaks to what a worthless POS she is. What’s she gonna do when her kids find out she tortured their father to the point of taking his own life (if that’s what really happened)? Nikki you got this, you F’n skank!

  • Michael Collings
    April 29, 2020 at 7:41 am

    When do we see a investigation into this Nicki for MURDER??

  • Nicki is a Slug Pump
    April 28, 2020 at 4:07 pm

    Do the right thing and vote for Nicki. She is by far the worst and those kids and Pat’s mother deserve to know the truth.

  • Stewart Nod
    April 28, 2020 at 2:42 pm

    My baby lost!
    Jess, please call me. I think I love you.

  • Fat Girl Titties
    April 28, 2020 at 2:22 pm

    If only Nikki could drive Sony (Lorrayna’s dickless boyfriend) to suicide. I wish nothing but the worst for all of these derilects.

  • Lake Flaccid
    April 28, 2020 at 10:16 am

    Kim has all of the intangibles.
    Remember the Patriots were 14 point underdogs against the Rams in 2001 Superbowl.?
    I like a feel good story. Gimme the ‘dog!

  • george costanza
    The angry taint
    April 28, 2020 at 9:49 am

    I got Kim vs.nikki. Nikki for the win….fucking skank

  • Casino Scum
    April 28, 2020 at 9:34 am

    To all the crybaby ratchets and Rachet lovers out there who love to accuse Turtle Boy and all Turtle Riders of being racist. Please note the races of all rachets in the final 4. Actually almost all of the finalists were white! Turtles not racist! White people suck too! I’m white and I approve this message!

  • Michael Collings
    April 28, 2020 at 8:30 am

    When will you grow a pair and write a article exposing that Nikki cows “story ” about how she
    “saw her husband load the gun and couldn’t get out of her head what he said to me”
    However she wasn’t there when he killed himself??
    Yet she was banging other cops and firefighters in town .
    Who were the first responders to the crime scene?
    Where are the state police?

  • whateva
    April 28, 2020 at 8:22 am

    I live for this ratchet contest it’s the best part of my life.
    Well actually this contest and sucking cock is what I live for.

  • Holden McGroin
    April 28, 2020 at 7:56 am

    Damn…. I thought Tinder Tunaflap would job into the FF…. Nellie is just a junkie loser.

    Kylie is the absolute scum of the earth…. her hands are full in this round but I have faith that this bitch will survive.

    • Casino Scum
      April 28, 2020 at 6:22 pm

      I too thought Tuna Tinderflap would cone away with the upset! But I also couldn’t imagine a FF without Billy TIBBETS or Bitch Tits Abraham’s so what do I know??? I still miss hearing about the further misadventures of Billy TIBBETS. AK can you please run a “ Where are they now” segment on him please

  • I don't like me right now
    April 28, 2020 at 6:29 am

    Loraynna and Nikki get my vote for most ratchet and the two out of the four that I would stab in the dirty asterisk.
    They’re both monstrous human beings so I am disappointed with myself for finding anything even slightly attractive about them, even if the impulse is only to roughly sodomize them.
    For that I am sorry.

  • Who Flung Cum
    April 28, 2020 at 6:23 am

    Faith has been restored. Thank you Turtle riders for FINALLY getting it right. May Blarney and her loser friends now fade into obscurity.

  • Ron Jeremy's Son
    April 28, 2020 at 5:58 am

    Lorrayna beats Kim because Calle has the potential to kill children in the future. Nelligan is just a junkie who might have done it accidentally.

    Nikki beats Kylie because she killed a guy. Kylie is just a first class grifter. Nikki has much more damage potential going forward. (We’ve learned this year just how fucked up Milford really is).

    Nikki for the win. The Lizzo at the funeral is enough to rate the crown.

    Miss Congeniality should go to Jessica. She’s a landmine waiting to take some poor schmuck out.

  • dowen0895
    Dick Scratcher
    April 28, 2020 at 3:58 am

    For those who don’t understand Vegas odds, here’s the translation of those prices into bookies racehorse odds 🙂

    Psycho who threatened to murder a child – 1/2
    Psycho who drove her husband to suicide and maybe helped him – 6/4
    Psycho fraudster who scarred her puppet-child for life – 5/2
    Psycho who actually murdered a child – 3/1

    Ratchet Madness has been a beauty this year with so many utter scumcunts in the running. It speaks volumes that a colossal twatbucket like Kate Peter can’t even make the semi-finals.

    Vote early, vote often!


  • Mr. Bubba
    April 28, 2020 at 2:00 am

    Kylie ain’t got shit on Nikki!

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