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Wacky Walter Bird Says Turtleboy Hacked Worcester Magazine’s Best News Outlet Voting In The Most Butthurt Interview Of All Time

Wacky Walter Bird Says Turtleboy Hacked Worcester Magazine’s Best News Outlet Voting In The Most Butthurt Interview Of All Time

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As you know Turtleboy Sports was voted Worcester’s top news outlet in Worcester Magazine’s Best of Worcester 2017 reader’s choice poll.

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Well apparently this isn’t sitting too well with Wacky Walter Bird, the owner of the free Worcester Magazine that can be picked up at such glamorous locations as Shaw’s and Pennywise. And Wacky Walter went onto the award winning Gary Rosen’s Roundtable cable access show to express just how butthurt he was about this. Check out the 24:12 part to see what it’s like when Turtleboy owns your brain:

So he starts off by saying that he wants a link to the media resources in the city on the city’s website. Fair enough. As a City Councilor Gary Rosen obviously understands the importance of Turtleboy, enough so that he got up in front of the Council and credited us with our award winning expose on Mosaic Cultural Complex stealing money from the taxpayers:

So he asked Wacky Walter if blogs like Turtleboy should also be linked. What happened next was some of the most emasculating form of butthurt one will ever see:

“Let’s stick with real media here, OK?”

Real media? Oh, you mean like a free magazine that suggests that rape victims are responsible for being raped?


Yea, if that’s what real media looks like then we want no part of it. Here at Turtleboy Sports we firmly believe that rapists alone should be held responsible for rape. Not their victims.

Or perhaps he was referring to the “real news” that local boob Steve “I had to sell my house on June Street because I haven’t had a job since getting laid off as a St. Mary’s toilet scrubber” Quist started a Facebook page called “Dolphin Boy Sports”:

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This is what news looks like. Local man starts Facebook page. Riveting stuff.

Newsflash – we break REALX news stories at Turtleboy. Tomorrow we’re gonna publish a blog about the Top 10 real news stories we’ve published in our short existence and it will blow anything your free magazine has done out of the water.


More importantly, if we’re so irrelevant than why is your free magazine so obsessed with us? Check out this column they published about Turtleboy just last week:

The New Boston Post is a conservative media outlet that has had similar issues with Facebook that we have had. So they sent us an email asking us questions for an interview and someone on our staff wrote back to them. Then they put together the story pictured above with the name Aidan Kearney in it. That’s because the worst kept secret in town is that guy owns the marketing company that monetizes this blog. Duh. Everyone knows that. (although there are rumors he is selling the company – I wouldn’t know, I just blog here)

So the New Boston Post reporter assumed he was speaking with the marketing company we consult with and printed a mistake. No biggie. It was up for probably 20 minutes before we contacted them and told them they got it wrong. Then they corrected it to the version you can read here. Pretty simple stuff really. Media outlet makes mistake. Media outlet corrects mistake.

But when you work for a free newspaper like Worcester Magazine and you have to employ people like Buttmunch Billy Shaner:

You’re not gonna be smart enough to figure this out on your own. This dude literally scoured the Internet for a redacted article in the Google cache archives that printed incorrect information, and published it as some sort of smoking gun that there is one Turtleboy and he is the guy they want Turtleboy to be. Except the reason it was taken down was because they made a mistake. But when these losers write about Turtleboy they know it will bring in page views. Because we matter and they don’t. FACKS!!

Not the first time Worcester Magazine has made a fool of itself and literally accused anyone who doesn’t like them of being Aidan Kearney:

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It’s the reason why Buttmunch Billy has been BEGGING us for a quote:

They really don’t get it. They don’t get what we’ve done to the media not only in this city, but in this state. Ya know why we break so many big stories? Because people trust us. Not just civilians trying to expose their crackhead neighbors either. Cops, teachers, nurses, lawyers, and countless others have come to Turtleboy to expose corruption in their workplaces. Because they know we’ll do a better job than this reject who looks like he was one of Jesus’ JV apostles:

Anyway, back to the video…..

“Wacky Walter: Can we just stop having that discussion? When you start blogging about fat people with tattoos, who beat up their sisters, we’re not talking about news anymore, so let’s just drop that. It’s an entertaining blog if you like that stuff. It’s not a news site.”

It’s not a news site? Then why did your “real news” free magazine hand us an award that says otherwise?

So Gary Rosen asked him that very question. Wacky Walter did what he does best – embarrassed himself:

The people and the fake accounts that he put up voted for him, just like they voted for Mike Gaffney. We were at our party and it was time to award best councilor and best news outlet and nobody clapped. I had to tell them to clap. You won’t hear that because they won’t report that. So when they say ‘we were voted best,’ it’s only because they voted.”

HAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! The Russians hacked the Worcester Magazine best of Worcester people’s choice awards!! Ya got that? Turtleboy is one guy, and he made a million different email accounts and voted for Turtleboy a million times. That’s the only way Turtleboy could take down a powerhouse like Worcester Magazine or the Turtlegram and Gazette. Can’t make this stuff up. They really are intentionally clueless. They honestly have no idea how much more people trust us than them. They have learned nothing. It’s fascinating to watch.

Of course this is what Worcester Magazine considers  “real news” – Wacky Walter doing an 11 minute video about what the weather will be like at the fireworks:

They hate us cuz they ain’t us.

We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.


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14 Comment(s)
  • BeantownBuck
    August 17, 2017 at 11:47 pm

    How in the world can Worcester Magazine maintain this asshole as EDITOR…..Fucking EDITOR?!?!?

    So many shitty news outlets in Worcester, but how can this rag be taken seriously?

    Walter, your biased bullshit has caught you in the crosshairs!!

    This liberal rag and the T&G need to go belly up…..local National Enquirer.

  • Steven Stover
    July 7, 2017 at 1:40 pm

    I pick up my copy of WM every week. Open it to the sudoko and tear it out and throw it back in the pile next to the Wheels and Deals. It used to be awesome. They investigated. That was way back though.

  • Thracian Vengeance
    July 7, 2017 at 1:27 pm

    Low-T Cucks like these guys are begging for a free helicopter ride

  • 1977 was forty years ago
    July 7, 2017 at 10:43 am

    Bird and his aging clones, need to disappear, retire your day has passed.

  • Wabbitt
    July 7, 2017 at 10:08 am

    Wait a minute…

    Isn’t mainsplaining when a man condescendingly explains something to a woman? So is Billy calling himself a woman?

    Guess I’m just a cisheteropatriarchal shitlord who assumed his gender. Betcha he’s pretty triggered right now.

  • Ghost of Hank
    July 7, 2017 at 9:49 am

    As the article mentioned and been verified, Q is selling his 106 June St manse…. where in the hell will he land next? Is Worcester going to miss him ? NOT !!!

    • Ralph
      July 7, 2017 at 4:14 pm

      I heard Q is headed to the valley to live … Great Brook Valley that is !

  • Barry
    July 7, 2017 at 7:49 am

    Worcester magazine is usually thick enough to protect most surfaces from hot pots and pans. It’s also great to put down on the table with painters tape to set up arts and crafts with the kids. I’ve even read it a couple of times while waiting for my pizza.

  • whatevuh
    July 7, 2017 at 6:35 am

    Worcester Magazine, my bird won’t even shit on it anymore

    • Ghandi
      July 7, 2017 at 7:35 am

      Then print out a picture of Granny Warren’s face.

  • Quincy Tom
    July 7, 2017 at 6:35 am

    Womag still trying to stay relevant in a world where delusional reigns.
    Fat Wally wears a beard to hide his 3 chins.

  • ninja turtleboy
    July 7, 2017 at 4:07 am

    i found turtleboy after he blasted one of my friends and i have been an addicted to the site ever since. 3 years strong baby, truly wouldn’t know what else to type in my browser for relevant Worc news

  • Jack Mehoff
    July 7, 2017 at 3:09 am

    I guess if I was stuck in the woods taking a shit and needing something to wipe my ass with a sheet or two of WoMag would come in handy but other than that I can’t see any value in it.

    • ninja turtleboy
      July 7, 2017 at 4:09 am

      it was a free fire starter for me all winter

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