All-Star Criminals

Waltham Womb Raider And Skinny Jeaned Sauce Donkey Beat Up 3 Elderly People At Their Home In Watertown, Proclaim Innocence On Facebook

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Watertown NewsA man and a woman face multiple charges after banging on a Watertown man’s door, and attacking him, his friend and the friend’s wife. Police received a report of a disturbance involving several people on the 300 block of Main Street at 10:22 p.m. on Sept. 26, said Watertown Police Lt. James O’Connor. A man later identified as 21-year-old Reuben Urquiza-Cabrera, was seen attacking the homeowner.

“When the officer arrived he saw Cabrera kicking a male with his foot,” O’Connor said.

The victims told police that they were in their home when someone began shaking the door and ringing the door bell, O’Connor said. The homeowner, a 67-year-old man, went down to see what was going on and Cabrera attacked him.

“The homeowner was attacked, his shirt was ripped off, he was thrown to the ground and kicked,” O’Connor said.

The man’s friend, who is 72-years-old, went to see what was happening and he was also attacked by Cabrera.

“He was also thrown to the ground,” O’Connor said.

When the friend’s 69-year-old wife saw what was going on she tried to intervene and Cabrera grabbed her and threw her to the ground. A woman, identified as 20-year-old Alyssa Owens, also was seen attacking the homeowner, O’Connor said. O’Connor said it is not clear what prompted the attack or why they attacked the people at that address.

When police attempted to place Cabrera under arrest he resisted by holding his arms at his side. When police were speaking to the victims and witnesses, Owens began screaming and yelled profanities at police and others. She was told to calm down multiple times but she would not. Reuben Urquiza-Cabrera, 21, of Waltham, was arrested on three counts of assault and battery on a person 60 or over, and one count each of assault and battery with a dangerous weapon on a person 60 or over, resisting arrest, and disorderly conduct, O’Connor said. Alyssa Owens, 20, of Waltham, was arrested on charges of assault and battery on a person 60 or over, disorderly conduct, and resisting arrest.

Sometimes you just have to kick the shit out of some elderly people. That’s how you live life when you’re a Waltham crack muppet trying to break into homes in Watertown.

I can’t be for sure if I’ve found Reuben Urquiza-Cabrera’s Facebook page, but I have found Alyssa Owens’. She’s like the Eastern MA version of the Spingfield lickalotapuss:

Normally when a hoodrat gets busted for this we hear about how they were just about to turn their life around and open up a barber shop. But it usually only applies to dudes. The Waltham womb raider has broken the gender ceiling though, and is cutting hair in Malden now:

In the least surprising turn of events ever she dindu nuffin:

Yea, y’all can eat a dick when the “truth” about why she attacked an elderly woman in her own comes out. Not her though, she can’t stand dick. And there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for why someone would be arrested for such a violent offense.

The hoodbogger express was out in full force to support her though….

Yea yo, the cops be switching the arrest reports to make minorities young people look bad. It was actually the elderly people who started the fight in their own home against these 20 year old aggressors.

I’m sure this was a complete misunderstanding, after all she looks like such an upright and outstanding citizen….

Plus she be graduating from school and shit…

Barber school…..

Rueben’s last name is Cabrera, and the womb raider pictured a lot with this skinny jeaned sauce donkey….

I don’t know if that’s him, but it definitely looks like the kind of lowlife who would have no problem kicking the shit out of a couple elderly people.

Either way, we would LOVE to hear her side of the story about what REALLY happened, preferably in run on CAPS LOCK sentagraph form on Turtleboy Live. Hit us up girl, we would love to have you on the Live show on Saturday night.

16 Comment(s)
  • Fo Sho
    Not wid my dick
    October 9, 2018 at 10:26 pm

    Does this whole tribe consist of sawed off pygmies???? No wonder their mad at the world…… if you had to walk around all day smellin asses you would be too…….

  • GutterTrash
    October 8, 2018 at 11:25 pm

    Alyssa has AIDS according to several exs who have multiple STDS from both Alyssa and Kate and were interviewed by local tabloid news sources allegedly.
    Hoodrat Alysaa will do jail time over this. Now da bad bitch got some street cred yo.

    • Kate
      October 10, 2018 at 9:06 am

      Hey gutter trash! You sound like another Waltham hood rat. Too bad you don’t me or Alyssa because we have about ten years apart we’ve never had the same ex. Every bitch I been with has been clean I’ve never had an STD in my life I’ve gotten arrested tho and if u wanna meet up we can hash this out in person #annonymous #scared #urguttertrash

      • I ate you out for breakfast
        October 10, 2018 at 11:33 am

        You sound so proud of yourself. “I’m a lesbian slut and I’ve been arrested!”

        Tell me, when you get older, how do you see supporting yourself? Keep on robbing people? I’ve always wondered how trash like you retires in their old age. You can be flashing stacks of cash now (we all know it’s a stack of singles with a $100 on top), but that dries up later. You won’t settle down and get a job. You’re not mature, you’re not independent, and certainly NO ONE IS SCARED OF YOU AND YOUR ‘HOMIE’

  • Ted Baxter
    October 8, 2018 at 5:23 pm

    The job of the police is not to exaggerate but to keep scum like you away from us. These two need to be purged.

  • Kate
    October 8, 2018 at 4:18 pm

    POLICE REPORTS ARE EXAGGERATED NOT AN EXCUSE TO BEAT UP ELDERLY PEOPLE BUT MY COMMENTS ARE 100% accurate! Because police are perfect right ?! They get every single report 100% correct….. NO THEY DONT nice try tho. A lot of this was funny but when I saw my name then your stupid comment about what I said now I got an issue. Hmu and we can talk about it like adults unless you want to just continue to hide behind a website and fake name

    • Grow up
      October 8, 2018 at 10:25 pm

      Listen gunny ADULTS dont bang on strangers doors and beat up senior citizens. Maybe you should have a chat with your friend. Yoi know the one who didn’t do anything?? The whole report is 100% fake right?? That’s funny. Crawl back in your hole.

      • Kate- grow up
        October 10, 2018 at 2:04 pm

        Never said she didn’t do anything and she’s not my friend I grew up with her brother. Believe me I told her how bad it was but there’s two sides to every story. And back to YOUR OWN POINT people don’t just go banging down people’s doors for no reason. Don’t condone violence for every situation but YALL DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENED just that half. And yes police reports are never 100% accurate NEVER. So stfu “gunny” mind ur own business when it comes to me

  • Hugh Jurek-Shin
    October 8, 2018 at 4:13 pm

    There is a lot of trash in Waltham and there always has been going back as far as I can remember, case in point with these idiots. What do you think their school system is stocked with? Sorry, but it’s not Newton and never will be despite what the real estate agents might try to say.

    • Bauls N Chin
      October 8, 2018 at 11:28 pm

      I agree

    • Fuck you Hugh
      October 10, 2018 at 2:10 pm

      Hey Hugh! I’m soooo sorry not every kid has mommy and daddy’s Jew/Chinese money to live in Newton. You’re right. It will never be Newton. You stuck up shithole. Not everyone in life has had the same circumstances or opportunities. Stay in Newton buddy. Nobody wants you in Waltham anyways.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Mike Barnicle
    October 8, 2018 at 2:18 pm

    Merely an anecdote. All Hispanics are of good moral character, love America and are here to do the jobs Americans won’t do.None of them are on welfare or would even think of accepting it. They resist and abhor drugs.

  • Peter Niss
    P. Niss
    October 8, 2018 at 12:58 pm

    The lowest form of dishonor is to attack someone a lot weaker than you.
    I think all should do these people harm if they are able.

  • Judge dread
    October 8, 2018 at 12:31 pm

    Figures… she is named after a sandwich and she’s a hyphenate.

    • Judge dread
      October 8, 2018 at 7:35 pm

      I made a typo it’s the guy. But whatever. Principal.

  • Maggie the Cat
    October 8, 2018 at 12:07 pm

    Alyssa looks like she really wants to be a man, so it’s good that her “boy”friend looks like he really wants to be a girl. They make a lovely couple…of what I don’t know, but they’re lovely!

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