Watching These Losers Whine About Trump Bragging About The Size Of His Schmenzer Was The Icing On The Greatest Debate Ever
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If you didn’t watch tonight’s Republican debate then I just feel bad for you. Every debate is better than the last. There’s no more rules. It’s utter chaos and it’s all because of Trump. The best part is that Marco Rubio is jumping into the pit with him too. I have to tip my hat to him for dancing with the devil. Obviously whatever Trump is doing is working, so fuck it. Switch it up. Screw policy, screw the issues, screw everything that used to matter in politics. Just kick everyone else in the nuts and steal their lunch money. That’s how politics works now.
This also might have been the first debate in American history where the candidates actually debated who had the biggest schmenzer. Naturally Trump was leading the charge.
I’d have to check out the archives, but I’m pretty sure no one’s ever done that before. Maybe Teddy Roosevelt and Andrew Jackson. But what Trump just did tonight is the 21st century version of challenging someone to a duel.
All the old school political commenters are talking about how crass and disgusting this is, but what was Trump supposed to do? Rubio clearly wanted to play dirty tonight and America loved it. He implied that Trump had small hands. And the only reason people talk about the size of your hands is because they’re indirectly taking shots at your manhood without explicitly mentioning the goods.
What was Trump supposed to do? His whole campaign has been about getting the last word in, talking about how much he’s winning in the polls, bragging about the size of his Mexican-financed wall, and never getting roasted by the likes of Little Marco Rubio. He had no choice. He can’t let Marco Rubio emasculate him on national television like that. America doesn’t want some President who isn’t confident in his own package. That’s just a time prove scientific fact. Rubio made him do that.
Look, Turtleboy has been consistent about this the whole time. We want anarchy and entertainment. We want debates that turn into arguments about how big Donald Trump’s penis is. Because anyone who needs a debate to help them decide who they’re going to vote for is a moron anyway. Debates exist for our amusement only.
But Fox News put together the LAMEST group of Americans possible to interview as a focus group after the debate. They were asked if they could describe the debate in one word, what would they say?
“Sophomoric, embarrassment, disappointing, shameful, despicable, angering.”
I could watch that Vine a million times on repeat and it would never get old. These people are probably TONS of fun at parties. Espeicially this chick:
How’d you like to be her prom date? Hey Rhonda, what did you think of the music tonight?
“Shameful.”
Oh…..OK.
And then there’s these two:
Who are exact carbon copies of every Republican I’ve ever seen.
And ya know what? I’m glad these people watched the same debate I did and had these type of reactions. Because THESE are the people who have controlled national politics for too long. These are the people who take themselves too seriously and think it matters if the President says cuss words. And I’m glad that politicians are no longer trying to impress them because clearly these people are no longer the majority. Americans wanna have fun, they wanna laugh, and they want their presidential candidates to let the American people know whether or not we’re electing a guy who isn’t packing.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – Hillary is gonna get eaten alive by Trump in the debates. It’s gonna be a bloodbath like we’ve never seen before. He’s gonna have those four guys from Benghazi touring with him on the Trump plane wherever he campaigns. He’s gonna rent out theaters in every swing state and just have 13 Hours playing on repeat over and over again. He is going to mention every single woman that Bill Clinton deflowered. She is not prepared for this and I almost feel bad for her. Because she’s had the luxury of debating against Bernie Sanders, who is nothing more than a 74 year old safe space. She wouldn’t have survived five minutes in the pit with Trump and Rubio tonight.
Can’t. Wait.
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22 Comment(s)
How long after one of these lunatics on either side gets elected until people start wishing Obama was still in charge?
Wabbitt – If that were to happen I would have to resort to an infamous quote by the best family father ever, Clark W. Griswold – “Clark: Oh, Eddie… If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am now.”
How I feel looking at the Republican field.
Exactly why your asshole is jealous of your mouth
Keep it going Kevin Lynch. Keep it going. Try to fool us again with another fake name you pussy.
Question BMAIJOHM? What does that even fucking mean? Tell me in specific terms how much of an asshole I really am instead these phrases that make no sense. Get to the point man. And be a man. Or not. Otherwise the wussification of America has knocked on my front door and it is you.
Gotta agree,only a fag would change their name on here to TRY to offend someone,that’s a queer way to say you were right. However many want to be me so it comes with the intelligence.
We get the government we deserve. So richly deserve. LOL.
Love he name fawn leibowitz
Cruz is dean wormer
Rubio is Greg marmalade
Kasoch just wants to be relevant
Does that make Trump, Jeff Spicoli? “All I need is some tasty waves a cool buzz and I am fine” Classic movie…
Turmp is definitely Spicoli – “Those guys are fags!!!”
Donald Trump Spicoli on American history and foreign policy: “What Jefferson was saying was, Hey! You know, we left this England place ’cause it was bogus; so if we don’t get some cool rules ourselves – pronto – we’ll just be bogus too! Get it?”
And after all of that they send John Oliver over here to be an American political and social critic.
Actually not without political precedent, as LBJ would often whip out his cock to win arguments.
Too bad Ben Carson wasn’t there, he could have mentioned the roll of tar paper he packs!
I don’t understand how people can watch these debates and not get on board with Kasich. Jokes and fun are all good, but it would be nice to show an ounce of maturity on the stage. The only candidate who does that is Kasich, and when it comes to beating Hillary, Kasich is the only one that stands a chance as he will get the majority of swing voters that want nothing to do with that lying bitch. He is the most moderate when it comes to policies, and by far the most mature ADULT on the stage.
And post debate with Bill’s one on ones, Bill flat out said to Kasich. You win with policy by far, the best policies and experience out of anyone else on the stage, but your just not as exciting as the others. It’s a said day in America when the presidential election is determined by whoever is the most entertaining, and not who has the best experience to do the fucking job we are electing them to do.
sad*
The debate was an absolute circus. I like a good dick joke as much as the next guy, but not on the debate stage in front of millions of people trying to decide who has the best policies. As a voter who do we have to choose from. On the Republican side we have this circus, and on the Democratic side we have a criminal and a socialist. We are truly screwed.
Don’t forget Ted Cruz eating his boogers on stage.
See now that is my only bitch about HD television. 15 years ago you would not have noticed that. HD shows pimples on beautiful female actors faces and now recently a Presidential candidate eating boogers ever so smoothly. Gross.
This is going to be entertaining but, not very insightful with real shit that needs to be addressed. But down the road, then it will get real ugly on both sides. It will, if not already is a circus.