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Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy:
Have you ever thought about blogging for Turtleboy? Well today’s the day you can make that happen. We’re always looking for talented new bloggers interested in trying their hand in our craft. We do pay, but don’t ask about pay when you message us. We’ll cross that bridge once you get here.
The ideal Turtleboy blogger is someone looking to make some side cash while working from home, but more importantly it’s someone who has a passion for this. Someone who really believes in what we’re doing and wants to contribute. You might not get rich at first, but as we can continue to grow so too will your opportunities to potentially earn a living doing this. I started this blog while I was a teacher. I worked all day and when I came home at night I built this thing from scratch. I didn’t sleep much, but that was OK because I knew I was building something awesome. Eventually I took a risk, quit my job, and turned Turtleboy into a business. Read all about it in the book. Ideally people with office jobs where they can fuck around, or stay at home Moms work out best for us, but anyone willing to put in the time will do.
We’re looking for bloggers from pretty much anywhere, but it would be great to find some people in new locations. When we first started this we didn’t have any bloggers from outside the Worcester area. Then we started hiring people like Brockton Turtleboy, SSTG, NSTB, MVTB, WMTG, and others, and they expanded our readership greatly. We could do this literally anywhere. The blog became a big hit because of Busgate in Worcester, but there are incidents like that occurring all over the country on a semi-daily basis. I see potential for growth in Connecticut, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Florida, Texas, Illinois, or pretty anywhere that people exist who crave real news brought to them in the authentic Turtleboy style. If you build us a new audience we don’t already have then you have the potential to make a living off of this. But even if you’re from an area where we’re already strong, we’ll gladly take you on if you have the talent.
If you’re interested the first step is seeing how well you can follow directions. Please send us an email to firstname.lastname@example.org and let us know. If you send us a Facebook message or any other form of online communication we will be ignoring you because you’ve failed the first and most basic step – following basic directions.
Once you email us we’ll give you a topic to blog about. Your job is to write something up in a timely manner in a word document, include pictures in it, and then email it back to us in an attachment. Again, if you send us your blog in the body of the email itself we will immediately stop considering you because you are incapable of following directions and we don’t have time for morons.
Grandpa Turtle and Bristol TC will read your submissions and decide if you have the Turtle voice. If you do we’ll be emailing you back, and for round 2 you will be coming up with your own topic to blog about, writing something up, and sending it back to us. Those submissions will be published on Turtleboy Sports and turtle riders will decide if you have what it takes.
If you don’t hear back from us after your first submission it’s because we didn’t pick you. Please don’t make things awkward by emailing us back and asking if we got your blog. We did, and we probably didn’t get back to you for a reason. Most people who try out don’t hear back from us, so please don’t feel bad about yourself. You’re still special in our eyes, you just weren’t cut out for blogging, and that’s OK. Believe it or not it’s not easy writing blogs. It takes a unique and talented man or woman or non-binary BLT-123 to meet our standards.
Here’s some tips when submitting a blog:
- Don’t try to be Turtleboy. Be your own voice. Too many people that try to be like what they read. Don’t do that. Just be yourself.
- Writing blogs full of unique insults is not what we’re looking for. Lots of people spend too much time focusing on shitting on the people they’re writing about, but the blogs themselves have no substance. Turtleboy isn’t popular because we crap on people for sport. The come to us because we have unique and insightful content.
- Do some research. People like Turtleboy because we dig into the people we blog about and find the story behind the story that the MSM never does.
- Have fun with it. People like to blog for us because it’s therapeutic. They can say what they’re really thinking, be themselves, and tell it like it is.
We look forward to hearing from you all.