Smiles And Sunshine

We Are Looking For New Bloggers, Here’s How You Can Become Part Of The Team

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Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 



Have you ever thought about blogging for Turtleboy? Well today’s the day you can make that happen. We’re always looking for talented new bloggers interested in trying their hand in our craft. We do pay, but don’t ask about pay when you message us. We’ll cross that bridge once you get here.

The ideal Turtleboy blogger is someone looking to make some side cash while working from home, but more importantly it’s someone who has a passion for this. Someone who really believes in what we’re doing and wants to contribute. You might not get rich at first, but as we can continue to grow so too will your opportunities to potentially earn a living doing this. I started this blog while I was a teacher. I worked all day and when I came home at night I built this thing from scratch. I didn’t sleep much, but that was OK because I knew I was building something awesome. Eventually I took a risk, quit my job, and turned Turtleboy into a business. Read all about it in the book. Ideally people with office jobs where they can fuck around, or stay at home Moms work out best for us, but anyone willing to put in the time will do.

We’re looking for bloggers from pretty much anywhere, but it would be great to find some people in new locations. When we first started this we didn’t have any bloggers from outside the Worcester area. Then we started hiring people like Brockton Turtleboy, SSTG, NSTB, MVTB, WMTG, and others, and they expanded our readership greatly. We could do this literally anywhere. The blog became a big hit because of Busgate in Worcester, but there are incidents like that occurring all over the country on a semi-daily basis. I see potential for growth in Connecticut, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Florida, Texas, Illinois, or pretty anywhere that people exist who crave real news brought to them in the authentic Turtleboy style. If you build us a new audience we don’t already have then you have the potential to make a living off of this. But even if you’re from an area where we’re already strong, we’ll gladly take you on if you have the talent.

If you’re interested the first step is seeing how well you can follow directions. Please send us an email to and let us know. If you send us a Facebook message or any other form of online communication we will be ignoring you because you’ve failed the first and most basic step – following basic directions. 

Once you email us we’ll give you a topic to blog about. Your job is to write something up in a timely manner in a word document, include pictures in it, and then email it back to us in an attachment. Again, if you send us your blog in the body of the email itself we will immediately stop considering you because you are incapable of following directions and we don’t have time for morons.

Grandpa Turtle and Bristol TC will read your submissions and decide if you have the Turtle voice. If you do we’ll be emailing you back, and for round 2 you will be coming up with your own topic to blog about, writing something up, and sending it back to us. Those submissions will be published on Turtleboy Sports and turtle riders will decide if you have what it takes.

If you don’t hear back from us after your first submission it’s because we didn’t pick you. Please don’t make things awkward by emailing us back and asking if we got your blog. We did, and we probably didn’t get back to you for a reason. Most people who try out don’t hear back from us, so please don’t feel bad about yourself. You’re still special in our eyes, you just weren’t cut out for blogging, and that’s OK. Believe it or not it’s not easy writing blogs. It takes a unique and talented man or woman or non-binary BLT-123 to meet our standards.

Here’s some tips when submitting a blog:

  • Don’t try to be Turtleboy. Be your own voice. Too many people that try to be like what they read. Don’t do that. Just be yourself.
  • Writing blogs full of unique insults is not what we’re looking for. Lots of people spend too much time focusing on shitting on the people they’re writing about, but the blogs themselves have no substance. Turtleboy isn’t popular because we crap on people for sport. The come to us because we have unique and insightful content.
  • Do some research. People like Turtleboy because we dig into the people we blog about and find the story behind the story that the MSM never does.
  • Have fun with it. People like to blog for us because it’s therapeutic. They can say what they’re really thinking, be themselves, and tell it like it is.

We look forward to hearing from you all.

15 Comment(s)
  • SMH
    Career Move?
    December 12, 2018 at 2:06 am

    So, what is it like to be a famous blogger on TBS? Is it the beginning or end of a career? Can I put TBS on my C.V. to get my next job at NPR, Boston Globe etc.?

  • Danielle Capstick
    A fan
    December 11, 2018 at 4:21 pm

    Hey what happened to Manchester Turtlette (Esther Manch)? I notice she’s not on Facebook anymore, and I haven’t seen any blogs from her for a while. 

  • Adam Jones
    December 10, 2018 at 6:42 pm

    I really was called a name. Am I eligible? I’m thinking “victim turtle” sounds good. Also my friend niko poopycockaas is time interested along with loupicka, boogerges, and Kevin cunttent.

  • H
    December 10, 2018 at 2:25 pm

    I tried to email from my usual account but it keeps saying isn’t a valid email address. Typed it in a few times and it keeps coming up invalid/not allowing me to send. If I cc myself, it sends to me and returns a ‘no send’ reply for your email address…just wondering if Yahoo has started not allowing communication to Turtleboy and has anyone else had this issue?

    • I See Dumb People
      I see dumb people
      December 10, 2018 at 3:16 pm

      Thats because its MORON that pater folks

    • KimberlyS
      December 10, 2018 at 3:46 pm

      Maybe because it’s ? You left the ‘gmail’ part out in your comment, so . . . maybe you left it off the email?

    • Frank Rizzo
      December 10, 2018 at 4:00 pm

      Hey H u fuckin’ dope, its

    • ol'school fedora wearing blog critic
      December 10, 2018 at 11:08 pm

      Blogging ain’t for your kid.

  • Show me the money
    December 10, 2018 at 11:48 am

    Well because I know you like writers who are edgy and aren’t afraid to bend the rules I’m going to do exactly what you told me not to do and instantly disqualify myself.


  • Let's Be Honest
    December 10, 2018 at 11:29 am

    “Turtleboy isn’t popular because we crap on people for sport.”

    That is ENTIRELY why Turtleboy is popular.

  • Web Designer
    December 10, 2018 at 9:48 am

    screw bloggers, you guys need to hire a new fn web designer. Even a volunteer from the special needs class would be a huge improvement over whoever is doing it now.

    • no money here
      December 10, 2018 at 10:17 am

      They know it’s going down soon. No one is going to make ANY money here. Sorry to say.

      • So suck it
        December 11, 2018 at 9:46 am

        Even if you don’t make money you gain experience. Which is more valuable especially if you’re just starting a writimg career.

    • Frustrated Reader
      December 11, 2018 at 9:53 am

      What I wouldn’t give for that to happen. I hate this site. It’s the absolute worst.
      I was seriously considering trying out to blog here, but my only reservation is if it’s going to be as much of a pain in the ass to write for them as it is to read them.
      I read it all the time because of the content. I’m sure they have a loyal following despite having the shittiest web design ever, but they’d probably have more loyalty if (thus more money) if they fixed the place up. No one likes being annoyed and frustrated.
      They don’t seem to care though. So many complaints and never a response or remedy.

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