All-Star Criminals

We Need To Get The Taunton Triggersaurus On Turtleboy Live So She Can Tell Us Why She Smashed Into A Car With A Trump Bumper Sticker Multiple Times

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Cape Cod TimesA Taunton woman accused of intentionally driving into a man’s car a month ago after becoming enraged by a Trump bumper sticker pleaded not guilty Monday in Barnstable District Court to a charge of assault with a dangerous weapon. Chloe Wright, 25, also faces charges of vandalizing property and leaving the scene of property damage. She was released on $1,250 bail and was ordered to stay away from the victim. On June 30, a man called Barnstable police to report a hit-and-run crash. He told responding officers he had been driving south on Bearses Way in Hyannis, and was stopped for a red light at the intersection of Route 28 when the driver of the car behind him began honking the horn, according to a police report.

The man continued driving onto Bassett Lane and the car followed, with the driver still honking, the man told police, according to the report. When he stopped again for a red light at the intersection with North Street, the driver also began yelling, the man said. Thinking that something might be wrong with the back of his car, the man stepped out into the road. The driver began yelling at him about a Donald Trump bumper sticker on the back of his car, he told police.

“She said, ‘You voted for Trump?’” the man wrote in a statement. “I said yes. She called me a racist and several other names.”

As the man began recording the incident on his phone, the woman drove around his car, prompting him to step back into the driver’s side door opening, he told police, according to the report. The woman then drove at him and hit the open door, he said, according to the report.

“She bent my door and I had to lean back to avoid getting hit,” the man wrote. “She also hit the side of my car.”

The woman drove away down North Street, the man told police. The man’s recording of the incident shows the woman’s car, a gray Honda Civic, drive around his car and hit the open driver’s-side door, according to the report. A statement by the man’s girlfriend, who was in the car with him during the incident, confirmed the man’s account, the report says. The video showed the license plate number of the Civic, which police traced to Wright, the report says. The victim identified a license photo of Wright as the woman who had hit his car, according to the report. State police stopped and arrested Wright as she was driving in Bourne Monday, after a random check of her license plate revealed an open warrant on the charges.

So we’ve spent the last 2 days trying to find the Taunton Triggersaurus on social media. She’s 25. She’s woke as fuck. She spends the summer in Cape Cod. She’s gotta have an IG or a Facebook page or something. Chances are she either deactivated it or is using a fake name. If you know how we can get ahold of her please let us know so we can invite her on the Live show tomorrow night. Could be legendary. “Brandon” is also more than welcome to contact us as we’d love to have him on as well.

Anyway, this is why we don’t blog about Trump. Because it makes people smash into cars. I got a lot of turtle riders who I know and respect who are either repulsed by him or think he’s the greatest thing since raw dog. So on the rare occasion we blog about something political the comments section immediately turns into “stupid libtards” and insightful stuff like that. Hell, we blog about missing dogs and THAT GUY will always show up on Facebook and blame it on Obama.

This is the current state of our political discourse:

  • Person with strong political beliefs does something crazy.
  • People with the opposite beliefs say, “look at how crazy you people are.”
  • People with same beliefs as the crazy person say, “Yea but this one guy on your side did something crazier last year.”

And ultimately we get nowhere and Thanksgiving is ruined. Again.

But this is Trump Derangement Syndrome on a new level. Usually they just call you a Nazi on Facebook and bury you in hashtags. But the Taunton Triggersaurus simply could not get over the fact that the guy in front of her (who appears to be at least partially something that isn’t white) had a different political opinion than her. Therefore he’s racist. Therefore she had no choice but to smash into the back of his car and then smash into his open door.

Meanwhile in Saudia Arabia they’re saying, “See, I told you it was a bad idea to let them drive.”

If I’m this girl I just use the “Auntie Maxine” made me do it excuse. Are we surprised that people are taking it to this level when we’ve got members of Congress telling people to form mobs and let people know “they’re not welcome here?” Poor girl was just doing as she was told. I’m sure if you shared this story on Occupy Democrats, The Other 98%, or some other place where clinically insane people come together to share memes, that her actions would be widely applauded. Because this is the state of America right now. And as a blogger, I kind of love it.

28 Comment(s)
  • Turd Reversalist
    August 3, 2018 at 11:23 pm

    Ah, that old, familiar tingle and twitch…the rod of justice is once again called upon to right the wrongness in this world, one bruised and brutalized dirt chute at a time.
    Time to roll her over and cause her to make faces and noises like she walked barefoot into a room with a floor covered in Legos.
    For the will of the People.
    For Justice.

  • Donald Trump America Great
    August 3, 2018 at 8:40 pm

    Chloe is a miserable animal who is not only ugly on the outside but just as ugly on the inside.
    She is the spitting image of Whole Lotta Rosie Odonell

  • Clitty Litter
    August 3, 2018 at 7:49 pm

    This was unbelievably covered in the local news.

    They called it, “TAD”, Trump Anxiety Disorder.

    Take a pill.

    (Preferably a handful washed down with bourbon)

  • Trrrrrrrrump!
    August 3, 2018 at 7:24 pm

    I hate black and white pictures but regardless of how she looks, would. Id love to see the look on her face as she’s approaching orgasm and i empty my balls in her hairy cunt (hoes like this don’t shave) and tell her I voted for trump!

  • Jim
    August 3, 2018 at 5:20 pm

    So some insane douchebag tried to run a guy over for a bumper sticker, meh it’s Massachusetts

  • Turtlebiotch
    August 3, 2018 at 4:08 pm

    It’s not as interesting when you can’t watch the video, or did I just not see it in the article?

  • Mike
    August 3, 2018 at 3:49 pm

    I’m a Deplorable and proud of it!
    Mo-rons like her just help guarantee Trump’s re-election.
    “Not Tired of Winning”!

  • Blam!
    August 3, 2018 at 2:01 pm

    That stupid cunt is goddamn lucky she didn’t encounter someone who was armed. This could have ended with her feeble fucking brain splattered all over her cuck boyfriend’s “I’m with Hillary” shirt. Hopefully, next time she pulls this bullshit she gets a severe case of lead poisoning via a couple of hollow points delivered in a closely grouped double-tap.

  • Confucious
    August 3, 2018 at 1:25 pm

    Confucious say win with honor, lose with dignity…

  • Ramon
    August 3, 2018 at 1:15 pm


    -retards to blame shit on other people besides themselves

  • W.T. Heck
    August 3, 2018 at 1:09 pm

    I cannot take credit for the following:

    “Imagine two men facing each other, pointing. One sees a tornado coming over the other’s shoulder, while the other sees a fire approaching being the one. Each is angry at the other’s inability to see the truth…”

  • Michael Hunt
    Mike Hunt
    August 3, 2018 at 1:01 pm

    Rhymes with runt.

  • Ozzy
    August 3, 2018 at 1:00 pm

    Tell me again who the deplorables voted for?

  • Hughbo Mont
    August 3, 2018 at 12:43 pm

    I hear that the Dems are pushing for TDS to become a legal disability so that people can collect SDI to help compensate for all the emotional distress they have to endure.

    • SRR
      August 4, 2018 at 10:00 am

      They are already being prescribed xanax for their Trump anxiety so I imagine that you are correct.collecting a check for it can’t be far behind.
      I was Nauseous and anxious for 8 years of Obama as I’m sure many others were but No one made up “Obama Ruins America anxiety syndrome”

  • Rich
    August 3, 2018 at 12:22 pm

    It’s actually good for the sane ones of us that this stuff happens. It ensures election losses for the ones they support. Like the AG candidate in NY with the platform that she will arrest all ICE employees. Keep screaming that long and loud.

  • Y
    August 3, 2018 at 12:16 pm

    That should be attempted murder.

    • Spunky
      August 3, 2018 at 2:59 pm

      I agree, attempted murder with a deadly weapon. Hopefully all these vaginal mishaps are in the slammer or pushing up daisies by the next presidential election.

  • ncfoothillbilly
    August 3, 2018 at 12:02 pm

    Heres her address and cell…
    PO Box 61414, New Bedford, MA 02746
    (774) 992-2148

    Professional Status
    Rsw at Fellowship Health Resources Inc

    Thats what came up, anyway FWIW…

    • z
      August 3, 2018 at 7:56 pm

      If that is her, kind of hard to have that kind of job at that business.

      If your anger issues are that pronounced you are useless in that occupation.

      She’s supposed to help people with issues and she has more issues than the people she is supposed to help.

      “So, tell me about yourself”
      “Well, I’m a…….”
      “Do you consider yourself a liberal, moderate conservative?”
      “I’m kind of a conservative, I think….”

      In mid sentence she pulls out a Harbor Freight survival knife and shivs you.
      Look it up, $10, looks like something Rambo would use.

    • The Doctor
      August 4, 2018 at 1:04 pm

      I’m going to assume most people think doxxing is shitty. Put out her name. Fine. Don’t put out her address or work.
      It’s stooping to their level.

  • Woman Drivers
    August 3, 2018 at 11:53 am

    The registry should take her license away as an immediate threat.

  • poopship14
    Boognish Rises
    August 3, 2018 at 11:49 am

    Ratchets like this chick are exactly why i don’t put any stickers on my truck especially ones that are political in nature. Its simply asking for ratchet problems.

  • deflateddoritodinks
    August 3, 2018 at 11:42 am

    …and I’m paying for her lawyer?! WTF?! No wonder she hates Trump. No more EBT for her.

  • Lou P
    Lou P
    August 3, 2018 at 11:40 am

    Just call her direct and ask her —-> 774 992 2148

  • Jack Mehoff
    August 3, 2018 at 11:27 am

    This douchebag needs to be sent to jail, make full restitution and the get a beating. I am so sick of these lefties thinking that they are correct and anyone that thinks differently is evil and demented. I hope that the repubs keep the house and get 60 seats in the senate. That way the dems can go fuck themselves.

  • Matthew Herzog
    August 3, 2018 at 11:22 am

    Who wants to bet she has a bunch of black boyfriends?

    • Mike
      August 3, 2018 at 3:54 pm

      You make up different names for yourself whenever you post, but it’s always the same stupid, lame-assed racist shit, you dick-less wonder. You’re girl left you for a black dude – get over it.

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