Webster Police Department Facebook Page: After a several month long investigation, on 4/21/15 at about 1530 hours Detectives from the Webster Police Department, assisted by agents from the DEA task force based out of Worcester arrested two person for narcotic sales at the Market Basket parking lot in Oxford. Nicole Viestra, 30 85 North Main Street #2 Webster and Jesus Enrique Martinez, 24, 85 North Main Street #2 were taken into custody. Their two small children were with them and turned over to a family member. The Department of Children and Families was contacted and is conducting an investigation.
Following the arrest, a search warrant was executed at the residence where a 38 caliber firearm was recovered along with 190 rounds of various calibers, and a bullet proof vest. Approximately 4 grams of heroin, 50 different prescription type pills, and $250 was seized.
Ladies and gentlemen, it simply doesn’t get any more Webster than these two. That woman is the oldest 30 year old I have ever seen ever. Good God. I don’t know what’s scarier, the fact that they’re dealing drugs with guns around children, or the fact that he looked at that woman and said to himself, “I’d like to impregnate her.” This just proves my theory that no matter how vile and disgusting you are, no matter how much you reek of cigarette butts, no matter how many loogies you cough up per day, there will always a long line of dudes out there who will drill you.
I will bet you my lunch money that this beautiful woman is banned from Waterfront Mary’s too. So she moved on to Sinni’s Pub or 21 West, before eventually running afoul of everyone there as well.
Well, what’s a Webster babe to do when she can’t get drunk all day and the
Fuzzy Grape Mario’s Showplace won’t hire her? She does what anyone in Webster with an entrepreneurial mind does – starts selling heroine. Because selling heroin and prescription pills in Webster is like selling girl scout cookies outside of a marijuana dispensary. You’re guaranteed to be swimming in business.
Oh yea, and can I just say that the fact that their operation’s headquarters are in the Market Basket’s parking lot in Oxford, is a stroke of pure genius? Because the proactive Webster businessman or woman doesn’t sit in their luxury High Street apartment overlooking the majestic French River, waiting for business to come to them. Oh no. If you wanna make it in this game you need an office space so you can write it off on your taxes. What better place than the Oxford Market Basket?
Tomorrow we will be releasing our list of the Top 20 towns and cities in Massachusetts that are bigger dumps than Worcester. Guess who’s gonna be making an appearance?
Never change Webster. Never change.