• When Virtue Signaling Goes Wrong: Chalky Balboa Gets Invited To Black Barbecues After Viral FB Post About Beating Up Racists, Saving Black Child



    When Virtue Signaling Goes Wrong: Chalky Balboa Gets Invited To Black Barbecues After Viral FB Post About Beating Up Racists, Saving Black Child

    Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.

    Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM

     

     

     

     

    Saw this making the rounds on the Internet so it must be true…..

    No. Just no.

    Bro, do you even virtue signal? Because that’s not even remotely believable. For starters, it’s kind of convenient that there are no cuts or bruises on his face, yet it looks like he just ate a raw deer carcass. Same with his fists which are also blood stained. Normally when you kick the shit out of someone you get blood on your knuckles or face because of abrasions on your body. Not this Medal of Honor McGregor though. He beat these chudnuts so badly that their blood splattered all over him.

    Oh, and his neck somehow magically did not get a drop of blood on it. Which means he delivered this epic pummeling while wearing a turtleneck in Florida in the summer. Savage.

    Did I mention that he’s a personal trainer?

    Do you think those kids he kicked the shit out of work out? Because he does!!

    White people LOVE to be doing this shit now. Last year there was a chick on the MBTA who allegedly saved a bunch of black kids from racist cops. Everyone believed her. It fit the narrative and it was on the Internet. Therefore it must be true.

    And there was no way that Chalky Balboa was missing out on the action. Virtue signaling always starts off with a small black child, more often than not being harmed by racist hillbillies. Preferably corn fed. Naturally this shoeless black child who was not in school wandered up to this guy for help:

    And being the good samaritan that he is, Chalky bought him some lunch. Naturally the bullies just happened to be outside of the store where they got food from, and the imaginary black child’s bullies (who we would be led to believe are also 12) were there waiting to get revenge on him for race mixing!! And what did they do to get revenge? Yelled racist things and threw “stuff” at him.

    Meanwhile the child still has no shoes on.

    Now people who know Chalky Balboa know that there’s one thing he doesn’t deal with – disrespect. So this was a big no-no on their part. And when one of the three whipped out the knife and cut his eyebrows, little did they know that they had awoken a sleeping giant with impeccable bathroom selfie skills, and a “She’s 16 but she’s gonna be 17 in November” chin strap.

    Bad move.

    Not quite sure what happened from there. All we know is that three imaginary 12 year olds will be hooked up to tubes for a few days, and this grown ass white savior stole their Sperry’s and vape pens on the way out, which of course he gave to the imaginary black child he saved.

    These stories are all the same, and they’ll continue to be all the rage so long as Trump is President. Every asshole who desperately wants to get some Facebook likes is just itching at the chance to kick the shit out of these white supremacists that they keep telling us are everywhere. And when they can’t find these people they just make it up with some virtu signaling. And why wouldn’t they? It worked perfectly. This post has been shared almost 2,000 times already. And this cracker is basically an honorary black guy for at least the next six months:

    Dude is gonna have his weekends booked with barbecues in neighborhoods he’s never visited for at least a year straight:

    He’s also been granted the VERY exclusive rights to use the n word as he sees fit:

    He might not take them up on their offer, but he does feel comfortable referring to his new friends as “my brother”

    It was all in a day’s work of fighting racism for Chalky Balboa though. He’s humble about it and is anxious to chill with his “real people” this weekend.

    New black friends and barbecue ribs aren’t the only thing he got out of his tall tale though. He also might be getting laid!

    Hot!!

    I’m sure it’s all true though. It’s not like this guy is an attention whore with a past history of posting his battle scars on Facebook or anything like that….

    Poor guy’s always in the wrong place at the wrong time. Funny how this time there are what appears to be actual cuts, but no blood. Yet the most recent post has no cuts and tons of blood. Weird.

    Oh, and it’s not like this guy has been itching for a chance to do some virtue signaling about kicking the shit out of disrespectful kids:

    The “I would’ve kicked the shit out of him” keyboard saviors are the worst people on earth.

    Oh, and he doesn’t like it when other people post things on Facebook for the sole purpose of friends and strangers liking their status:

    Yea dude, no gym selfies. If you want Facebook likes you should be making up a story about being a SJW Rambo enforcer.

    Oh, and here’s the best part – Joey Looney isn’t exactly sympathetic to the black lives matter movement he is now kissing up to:

    “If you’re one of those people constantly posting about how black people aren’t equal, delete me.” – Guy who fabricated a story about a black kid not being treated equally.

    As usual, the only people who believed this story were people who wanted to believe this story. Trenni Kusnierek, Mike Lupica, John Tomase, and the rest of the idiots who blindly believed Adam Jones lie about being called the n word at Fenway Park and Michael Bennett’s fake news about having a gun pulled on him by the cops in Vegas for being black, will no doubt instinctively believe this story too. They have to. It fits their narrative that thanks to the guy they didn’t vote for, the KKK has taken over half of the country.

     

    We urge you to support the following local businesses. They provide terrific services for the community!

     

    Screen Shot 2017-02-01 at 10.32.58 AM

    Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM

    Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 10.14.48 AM

    Screen Shot 2017-03-31 at 2.17.19 PM

    screen-shot-2016-12-05-at-8-36-43-pm

    unnamed (1)

     

    4ba27317-991b-4352-b70d-f489eadcfdef (1)

    Screen Shot 2017-03-25 at 8.48.23 PM

     

     

     

    Join the Discussion

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    Discussion

    1. Webster Turtle Rider


      Why you gotta drag Trump into this? “So long as Trump is president”; hey not sure if you noticed but racism existed long before Trump and will supersede his FOUR YEAR presidency.

      1. TortugaNiño


        Your lack of reading comprehension is deplorable. ….wait for it….

        1. Webster Turtle Rider


          Ha! Thanks for the footnote little dude

        2. My name here


          There’s clearly a cut on this guy’s right eyebrow……

    2. Stan the man


      I’m throwing the bullshit flag on this one.

    3. Phil


      If you take “selfies”, let alone bathroom mirror selfies, I despise you as a human being. If you are male, multiply that by a thousand. Fucking toolbox, not to mention an attention seeking, lying sack of hot dogshit.

    4. TortugaNiño


      Tickets to a Bs game says that blood is menstral. Any takers? We can figure out a couple prop bets on the side to!

      5/1-not human
      9/1-human yet related
      15/1-human, stolen from wherever the f*ck one of these psychos would Be able to think of

      Damnit tb u missed a serious oppurtunity for one of those polls.

    5. Sue


      Where is the little boy this happened to? Enough people read turtleboy ( young and old ) that I feel like if this really did happen, the child or the child’s parents would step up and say something, it just feels like a made up story to me. Similar to the “water whizzz kidnapping” Just my thoughts on it all.

  • arrow