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Last year around this time we first blogged about this magnificent creature right here:
Her name is Amber Holly, but you might know her as her by her Christian name – the Burlington Mall Fupaslug. She holds up signs about imaginary kids she doesn’t have and famously falls asleep with Dunkin iced coffees lodged in her gerber servers.
She threatened to sue us last year:
And drives to the mall every day with her able bodied boyfriend to beg for money for the kids they don’t have.
She is the most infamous panhandler in New England.
Now, you may be asking yourself right now, “Whatever happened to the Burlington Mall Fupaslug?” I know I can’t sleep at night sometimes without knowing.
Well, the answer is shockingly the exact same thing she was doing at this time last year. Except now she’s got cool headphones:
God bless America. The only place where you can be morbidly obese and starving at the same time.
But seriously, I love this jello grenade more than life itself. Do you understand how hard it is to fall asleep standing up? The Burlington Mall Fupaslug does it every single day. Sure, she could bring a chair, but that’s what separates her from the rest of the panhandlers.
The best part is she’s not even a junkie, so if you give money to her it won’t go to drugs. She’s just good old fashioned lazy and doesn’t feel like getting a job or paying taxes. God bless you Burlington Mall Fupaslug. We’d love to have you on the Live show sometime if you ever drop your lawsuit against us.