Smiles And Sunshine

Who Should Be The Four 1 Seeds In Ratchet Madness Reveal Show On Friday Night?


The moment you’ve all been waiting for has arrived – Turtleboy Ratchet Madness Selection Show will be Friday night at 9 PM. There will be no regularly scheduled live show due to the fact that I will be in Brooklyn for the Celtics game Saturday, and Sunday night is the season finale of The Walking Dead (last night’s episode was INSANE!). However, this year’s bracket is a lot harder to put together than last year’s when Didi Delgado, Leigha Genduso, and Alli Bibaud were OBVIOUS 1 seeds. This year I can honestly say that there is no favorite, no one is penciled in as a 1 seed, and anyone can win. Let me know if I’m missing anyone, but here’s some of the top contenders for a 1 seed in my opinion:

  • Franklin Smollett
  • Juicin Jeremy
  • Michael Gaffney
  • Fitchburg Fupa Fungus
  • Queefhog Leprechaun
  • Momma Thundertwat
  • The New Bedford Bukkake Poundcake
  • Michael Cadena
  • Greg Bates
  • Hurricane Beefaroni
  • Jackoff Sauce
  • Maude the Fraud
  • Bobbin for Boners
  • Scopa
  • The Dr. Phil Medford Meth Maggots
  • The Foxy Lady Strippers
  • Rian Waters

So many more quality candidates. Let us know in the comments if we missed someone who should be given consideration.

Also, we wanna make t-shirts for this but suck at graphic design. Ideally we’d like to have something with faces of the top contenders, particularly who we choose as 1 seeds. Maybe a little bracket and Turtleboy mixed in as well. If you’re good at that sort of thing hit me up at or message TBNews on Facebook.

Ratchet Madness is by far my favorite part of running Turtleboy. Friday is going to be awesome. Here’s last year’s selection show if you missed it.




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17 Comment(s)
  • TopTurtleFan
    March 26, 2019 at 1:52 am

    My first two of my top four are write ins you didn’t list above: House of many cums needs to make the list!!!! As does Fall River Mayor Jassiel “Lapdance” Correia.

    Already listed: Greg Bates and Jackoff Sauce.

  • Sleezebag Detector
    March 25, 2019 at 7:02 pm

    Lyin’ Lizzie Warren
    Joe Curtatone
    2 quality candidates for asshole of the century

  • InsertScreenNameHere
    Missed one!!
    March 25, 2019 at 6:56 pm

    I think Maude the Fraud could win the whole thing (she’ll finally have legitimately won something, yay for her!) but how did O-moo moo the Smith hoaxer not make the list

  • No name
    March 25, 2019 at 6:54 pm

    Failure Swift! That live video was worth it’s wait in gold!

  • Rian Waters butt plug
    March 25, 2019 at 6:32 pm

    Maude and greg bates are shoe-ins to me. Im gonna have to do some research on the other two 1 seeds. Please no more michael cadena, that horse has been beaten and ridden too many times. I don’t need another blog about him. Juicin Jeremy is too new and has unanswered questions. Rian Waters is a bitch and he’d love the attention again so he can try to take you to court. Im done with Milky gaffney, but his boyfriend Dante might be a heavy favorite…

    • Rian Waters butt plug
      March 25, 2019 at 6:42 pm

      quick little search, i will add to my list of potential 1 seeds:
      Smith college black chick
      Meghan Casey
      Joe Curtatone

  • Well, No Shit
    March 25, 2019 at 1:37 pm

    It’s too bad that the names on the list aren’t linked to the articles in which they appeared. That would have made the stroll down memory lane a lot more convenient.

  • Strokey Sullvan
    March 25, 2019 at 1:24 pm

    I demand inclusion into this prestigious club…

  • Hugh-Bo Mont
    March 25, 2019 at 1:13 pm

    I don’t think smollet should be included. Yes, a douche and a half, but not local.

    • Ryan
      March 26, 2019 at 6:35 am

      I believe “Franklin” Smollett is the dog park guy.

  • Travis Rearick
    March 25, 2019 at 11:39 am

    Juicin’ Jeremy for sure

  • Gronkless
    March 25, 2019 at 9:55 am

    What about the “House of many cums” guy from Shrewsbury that only got caught cuse he tried to claim victim of home invasion. Legendary

  • Juicin' Jeremy
    March 25, 2019 at 9:42 am

    Juicin’ Jeremy for sure and the Queefhog Leprechaun. That little dope smokin’ monkey should be on the list too.

  • The angry taint
    The angry taint
    March 25, 2019 at 9:30 am

    definitely maude and spanklin

  • dowen0895
    Dick Scratcher
    March 25, 2019 at 9:25 am

    Bobbin for Boners, Wanklin Smollett, Master Bates and Failure Swift.

    Thank me later.

  • Dick LaBone
    March 25, 2019 at 9:21 am

    Juicin Jeremy, Bobbin for Boners, Maude the Fraud. What was the old guys name caught jacking off to little schoolgirls?

    • Need to be more specific
      March 25, 2019 at 10:28 am

      Anthony Weiner? Bob Menendez? Tony Cardenas? Neil Goldschmidt? Mel Reynolds? Jeffrey Epstein? Harvey Weinstein? Eliot Spitzer?

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