Wild Video: Fuck Taylor Smashes Butterball Squash With Golf Club And His Own Sandals In Epic 3 On 1 Vernon Hill Summer Throwdown
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Yesterday was the summer solstice. And when the summer comes to Worcester, the ratchets come out to play and the fun begins. Here’s a small sampling of what’s to come the next few months in Worcester, as three local crack bunnies attempted to fight one man over something that was obviously VERY important. It began with the crack bunnies chasing the muff into his den and throwing a chair at his door:
It would appear at that point that that was the end of that. After all, the muff was outnumbered 3 to 1 by the crack bunnies. And they were armed with Vernon Hill porch furniture.
But that’s when the muff channeled his inner Kevin Lynch and came out with the 3 wood. This video made me laugh out loud too many times to count, because I don’t live on Vernon Hill:
Welcome to Worcester!! Let the summer begin. Time for the play by play….
It starts off simple enough. The butterball squash in the white capris starts throwing punches with blue collar Mcgee. That goes nowhere rather quickly. And for some strange reason butterball squash decides to take off his fighting sandals, at which point blue collar McGee picks them up and hits him with his own sandals:
Power moves only on Vernon Hill.
Then out of nowhere crack bunny #2 appears with what appears to be a piece of plywood (but later is revealed to be siding of a house – because why wouldn’t there be some siding lying on the sidewalk on Dorchester Street?):
When blue collar McGee is distracted he hands off the siding to butterball squash:
Who then proceeds to wack Fuck Taylor right in his midsection:
Big mistake. Blue collar McGee, who looks like he just came from the Maurice the Pantsman sidewalk sale, asked himself, “what would Kevin Lynch do in this situation?” Answer –
Hit him with the 3 wood. But butterball squash literally took a golf club to the face and wasn’t the least bit phased by it. It’s fun growing up in Worcester.
Unfortunately for Fuck Taylor, butterball squash had some Matrix-Mayweather moves in his repertoire:
Then cocknugget #3 showed up with the siding (or is that a drain pipe?) once again:
But the Vernon Hill fan club that was now assembled watching this fight demanded no weapons. Fists only. So the combatants gave them what they wanted.
You’ll notice Shithead Sanchez in the bootleg cookie monster shirt is circling in like a hyena trying to steal the lion’s meal. Unfortunately the cape buffalo saw him, turned his horns on him, and things didn’t end too well for this poonstachio:
It had been going on for a couple minutes on a busy street at that point, right near not one, not two, but three schools in broad daylight (Worcester Academy, Union Hill, Worcester East Middle). Finally some poor detail cop had to run over
And since they knew the fun was about to end they had to get their last hits in:
Now one of the best parts about growing up in Worcester are the cops. My friends in Holden and Shrewsbury always used to tell me about how much it sucked when the cops broke up their keg parties. The cops called all their parents and people got arrested. Not in Worcester though. We didn’t run in Worcester because we knew they didn’t have time for that shit, and more importantly they weren’t drawing straws to see who was gonna get stuck with the paperwork. In Worcester the cops say, “break it up boys” and send everyone on their merry way:
So what was this all about? Well according to the hoodrat word on the street this is how it went down:
Only in Worcester can you ask a local woman to restrain her dog because it’s scaring a small child, and the woman’s response is, “fuck yourself.”
Saw this video shared on a couple pages. One was the the guy who filmed it. And by the way, shout out to him for being the first Worcesterite to ever shoot a video horizontally. But someone on his Facebook roster committed the ultimate sin – tagging the popo:
Or as TMS Bazile calls them – the feds.
It was also shared on a page called “The Truth About Worcester.” It’s a page run by a guy named Franco from Grafton Hill. We blogged about him last year when he embellished a story with WHDH about a naked teacher at Rice Square Elementary School jumping in a dumpster. He apparently hates us for this, and has banned Turtleboy from his page where he posts about things he hears on the scanner, bitches about life in Worcester, tries to bang every chick with a pulse on his page, and gets off on the small amount of power he has for the first time in his life. So you can imagine when someone suggested that he share this video with Turtleboy, he wasn’t a fan of that idea:
“We got this.” LOL. This dude really thinks he’s like, the voice of Worcester or something. No wonder he hates us.
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