Follow @TurtleboyNews on Twitter by clicking here.
Follow Turtleboy on Instagram by clicking here.
Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.
If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:
NECN: A pack of coyotes sent a woman scrambling up a tree over the weekend in Saugus, Massachusetts.
“Hello! There’s coyotes up here.”
A Melrose woman called 911 Saturday morning — reporting that a pack of three or four coyotes had surrounded her and her eight-year-old black Labrador Abby while they were out for a walk in Saugus’ Breakheart Reservation. Dispatcher: “911 this line’s recorded, where’s your emergency?”
Caller: “Hi, I’m in a – stuck in a tree at Breakheart Reservation in Saugus. There’s coyotes.”
The woman snapped a photo from her vantage point up in the tree – with Abby looking up at her.
Caller: “I have one dog, she’s a lab, she’s on the ground right in front of the tree. There’s coyotes there.”
Dispatcher: “I’m going to get somebody up there as quick as I can, but in the meantime I want you to obviously stay away from those as best you can.”
The woman was eventually able to get down from the tree and firefighters met her and her dog about a quarter of a mile down Ridge Trail and walked them out. Deputy Saugus Fire Chief Thomas D’Eon said, “There were no injuries to the dog or her and our crew did not see any coyotes.”
The group Friends of Breakheart Reservation says coyotes are becoming more and more prevalent in the area. Deputy Chief D’Eon said, “It’s a reservation, there’s wildlife in there, it’s teaming with wildlife, you have to be aware, be careful, take precautions, you’re in their habitat.”
Some people say I'm like a coyote. I'm very aggressive when in heat, and I bite! pic.twitter.com/XIZ51Sq14W
— Party Waren Kebber (@WebbDawgTG) May 16, 2018
You gotta listen to the 911 tape by clicking here.
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!! This is the fakest news I’ve ever seen fam. Then again, fake coyote attacks are all the rage these days thanks to Rowdy Rutland Piper.
But seriously, she climbed a tree? Who is this chick, George of the Jungle? What kind of tree was it? Because most of the trees around here aren’t the climbing kind.
And she left her lab on the ground to stave off not just one, but a pack of hungry coyotes on its own. Did you listen to that tape? Listen to it!! She’s not even remotely worried. Oh, and you hear a dog a couple times whimpering, but at no point in time do you hear a single coyote. And they have a very distinct sound. Especially if there’s a bunch of them.
Then there’s the fact that if a pack of coyotes did encounter a lab and a human being in a park (which wouldn’t happen unless they were rabid), and this woman cowardly abandoned her dog to climb a Goddamn tree, then there wouldn’t be a dog anymore. There would be leftovers. A domesticated dog has no idea about the dangers of wild animals. They’re like the Kardashians when they go into the hood. They wanna play, and try to pretend like they belong, but that ass just ends up getting ripped apart.
So…..what happened to the coyotes? They decided that they weren’t in the mood for labrador? They sound pickier than Turtlebabe Jr. Then there’s the fact that no one else saw this pack of coyotes in a pretty popular public park. Weird.
Anyway, if it WAS real, which clearly it’s not, then we’d be pro-kill coyotes. Our stance at Turtleboy is pretty clear about coyotes – we are 1,000% anti-coyote. They have no reason to exist. All the shit they kill we could just kill ourselves. We don’t really need them. Which is why all those whiny bitches a few months back crying about hunters killing them in the Cape was so hilarious.
But if they insist on existing, then they can go where the people aren’t. There’s plenty of delicious deer and baby foxes for them to eat in Vermont. Those are the rules. But man owns civilization because we’re smarter than them. That’s how Darwinism works. It used to be their home, but we wanted it because we have brains and shit, so we took it. We were kind enough not to send them the way of the Dodo, but as part of the agreement they have to stay in Maine, Vermont, Yellowstone, or Colrain.
So yea, if they’re actually attacking women and dogs like this in public parks, then they need to be destroyed. But they’re not, and it’s probably just some lobbyist for the hunting industry trying to extend coyote hunting season by making up a story. If you know who that is on the 911 call, feel free to let us know. Because I’m willing to bet this isn’t the first tall tale she’s made up.