Get the newest Turtleboy Sports t-shirt (as seen on the Felger and Mazz show) by clicking the picture above.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Let’s pretend it’s Christmas time in Worcester. You wanna go out and shop till you drop to bring some Christmas joy to your lovely family. Where do you go? Solomon Pond Mall? Natick Mall? Greendale Mall (lol)? Well, if you’re going to those places then you’re doing it all wrong. There is only one mall you can go to for all your shopping needs in one elegant destination:

The Mid Town Mall.

I’d never been to this paradise in downtown before so I wanted to see what I’ve been missing out on. So we took a little stroll through the halls of one of Worcester’s most classic establishments. Please, join us on our journey.

For starters, you know you’re in good shape when your neighbor is “Bling Bling Fashion.”

It screams upscale. So if you have tickets to the Academy Awards, or you’re just looking for something to wear to the club tonight, this is a great spot to start at.

Once you enter the Mid Town Mall you are greeted by this:

A business that buys gold off of you. That’s always a good sign.

Let’s suppose you have a fashionable family member who only wears the finer things in life. Luckily there is plenty of selection to choose from:

I know what Mrs. Turtleboy and I will be wearing to our next fancy dinner at Tweeds.

As you walk through the Mid Town Mall you will be greeted by a vibrant Worcester community; anxious to dump money into the local economy.

It’s a real “who’s who” of the Woo.

Suppose you don’t know what you wanna buy? If you’re looking for something a little more upscale then let’s say, the dollar store, well, here’s the shop for you:

Man, just look at all that……stuff.

Perhaps you’re just looking for an afternoon out with the girls. There are so many options for you to choose from. You can start with a manicure at the nail salon. But be warned – you should probably make an appointment first. They are extremely busy.

After that it’s time to get your hair did. Well, Clarissa’s Hair Salon is the stylist for Worcester’s biggest stars

For this you will have to walk down stairs to the members only part of the Mid Town Mall. I would not recommend taking the escalator though

So you’ll have to take the stairs instead

But beware – Clarissa’s hours are rather sporadic. For instance Friday at 3:00 PM is not a good time:

Oh well. As long as you’re down there you might as well play a tune on this lovely non-functioning random piano:

Oh yea, and if you’re looking for a little Jesus in your life the Mid Town Mall offers you a vast array of start-up Mom and Pop churches:

But be warned, Phong Ta and MaxTalent have both moved from their original locations

The real estate was just too prime I suppose.

If you’re like me then you’ve probably worked up an appetite with all this shopping by now. Time to hit up the food court:

I’m not waiting in that line. Let’s go get some Weepin Willie’s instead.

Anyway, the bottom line is if you go to the Mid Town Mall remember what you’ve learned here today. Always bring your extra gold with you, be patient with the crowds, book your appointments ahead of time, and remember that the escalator is not your play toy. If you follow this advice you will leave there with memories that will last a lifetime.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook

We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.