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Worcester’s Mid Town Mall Is A Magical Shopping Experience

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Let’s pretend it’s Christmas time in Worcester. You wanna go out and shop till you drop to bring some Christmas joy to your lovely family. Where do you go? Solomon Pond Mall? Natick Mall? Greendale Mall (lol)? Well, if you’re going to those places then you’re doing it all wrong. There is only one mall you can go to for all your shopping needs in one elegant destination:

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The Mid Town Mall.

I’d never been to this paradise in downtown before so I wanted to see what I’ve been missing out on. So we took a little stroll through the halls of one of Worcester’s most classic establishments. Please, join us on our journey.

For starters, you know you’re in good shape when your neighbor is “Bling Bling Fashion.”

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It screams upscale. So if you have tickets to the Academy Awards, or you’re just looking for something to wear to the club tonight, this is a great spot to start at.

Once you enter the Mid Town Mall you are greeted by this:

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A business that buys gold off of you. That’s always a good sign.

Let’s suppose you have a fashionable family member who only wears the finer things in life. Luckily there is plenty of selection to choose from:

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I know what Mrs. Turtleboy and I will be wearing to our next fancy dinner at Tweeds.

As you walk through the Mid Town Mall you will be greeted by a vibrant Worcester community; anxious to dump money into the local economy.

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It’s a real “who’s who” of the Woo.

Suppose you don’t know what you wanna buy? If you’re looking for something a little more upscale then let’s say, the dollar store, well, here’s the shop for you:

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Man, just look at all that……stuff.

Perhaps you’re just looking for an afternoon out with the girls. There are so many options for you to choose from. You can start with a manicure at the nail salon. But be warned – you should probably make an appointment first. They are extremely busy.

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After that it’s time to get your hair did. Well, Clarissa’s Hair Salon is the stylist for Worcester’s biggest stars

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For this you will have to walk down stairs to the members only part of the Mid Town Mall. I would not recommend taking the escalator though

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So you’ll have to take the stairs instead

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But beware – Clarissa’s hours are rather sporadic. For instance Friday at 3:00 PM is not a good time:

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Oh well. As long as you’re down there you might as well play a tune on this lovely non-functioning random piano:

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Oh yea, and if you’re looking for a little Jesus in your life the Mid Town Mall offers you a vast array of start-up Mom and Pop churches:

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But be warned, Phong Ta and MaxTalent have both moved from their original locations

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The real estate was just too prime I suppose.

If you’re like me then you’ve probably worked up an appetite with all this shopping by now. Time to hit up the food court:

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I’m not waiting in that line. Let’s go get some Weepin Willie’s instead.

Anyway, the bottom line is if you go to the Mid Town Mall remember what you’ve learned here today. Always bring your extra gold with you, be patient with the crowds, book your appointments ahead of time, and remember that the escalator is not your play toy. If you follow this advice you will leave there with memories that will last a lifetime.

 

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33 Comment(s)
  • Mark D
    April 6, 2017 at 12:03 pm

    Also, where is the Orange Julius and Brookstone?

  • Mark D
    April 6, 2017 at 12:01 pm

    this is amazing

  • Richard Head
    March 21, 2015 at 12:27 pm

    turtleboy is a poor mans portnoy…your website sucks you wannabe barstool bitch

  • Wabbitt
    wabbitt
    March 13, 2015 at 2:38 pm

    Is that dirty little diner still there? That place was pretty good. Not Carl’s, but still good.

  • Michelle Hartigan
    March 13, 2015 at 7:15 am

    That place was the place to hang out as a teen and then when we grew up, lunch was always good…that place is so wacked now!

  • 70's Down Town Kid
    March 13, 2015 at 3:53 am

    Hey I remember Woolworths and the other clothing stores downtown. Wasn’t there a Leeds or something to that effect? There were some great clothing stores back in those days.

  • 70's Street Kid
    March 13, 2015 at 3:19 am

    I’m so old that I remember when it was FW Woolworths

  • HaHa
    March 13, 2015 at 1:43 am

    I love drunks. You are so fun to pick on because you are so drunk and say stupid things. I am not stupid. I am very smart and so smarter than everybody even that guy from the Cape who says he is way smarter than everybody because he worked at a bar but he sounded stupid and the old people at the Cape did not like him very much because he thought he was smart but turned out to be very dumb.

  • But alias Ton Brady and Yes are such nice people
    March 13, 2015 at 1:33 am

    Hey 12 beers ago, 2 glasses of champagne and 2 bloody marys ago I would’ve nailed this…

  • But alias Ton Brady and Yes are such nice people
    March 13, 2015 at 1:29 am

    God my spelling so sucks

  • But alias Ton Brady and Yes are such nice people
    March 13, 2015 at 1:28 am

    oops m fir n

  • Turtleboy is really Kanye West
    March 12, 2015 at 10:46 pm

    dear anon. Blogger whom wrote this article that calls themself turtleboy this week,
    First off there’s nothing original or groundbreaking by writing an article about the dumpy bussinesses that can be found in our wonderful downtown. Everyone who lives in worcester knows downtown sucks. Second Rember the galleria mall? yah that big building to the right of the midtown mall that closed down and failed horribly. At least the midtown mall is still open!!! Third, I enjoy your blogs and believe the turtle can be used for good. Instead of bashing the local bussinesses that are struggling to survive, use your blog for the good of the city and reach out to the “500,000” monthly viewers you have and try to bring some economic growth to the downtown area. Maybe you could even move your headquarters out of your parents house and open up a small media outlet in the midtown mall and work towards cleaning it up. Or you can continue to sit in your ivory tower and poke fun at the welfare cases of this city. Point in fact those bussinesses in the midtown mall probably don’t gross a lot of money but without them those business owners would probably be on welfare or government assistance too, and you would just make fun of them for it, at least there thing to make a living and better themselfs. If the shirt rent of the midtown mall is all they can afford, why bash them for that? P.s. Strawberrys used to be in that mall and that place was the shit!

    • Wow, yo have joined alias Tom Brady, Yes, Clean (ya right) Hippie and now you?
      March 12, 2015 at 10:56 pm

      You people suck so bad it makes sucking really bad when it should not be. Sucking should be awesome especially when it is on fruit or on a female. But you guys make it very wrong and that is sad.

      • But alias Ton Brady and Yes are such nice people
        March 13, 2015 at 1:27 am

        They are just misunderstood. That’s all the poor soles.

  • Yes, alias Tom Brady and Clean Hippie
    March 12, 2015 at 10:43 pm

    Bluto: Hey! What’s all this laying around stuff? Why are you all still laying around here for?

    Stork: What the hell are we supposed to do, ya moron? We’re all expelled. There’s nothing to fight for anymore.

    Yes: [to alias Tom Brady] Let it go. War’s over, man. Wormer dropped the big one.

    Clean Hippie: What? Over? Did you say “over”? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

    Turtleboy to Clean Hippie: Germans?

    Yes: Forget it, he’s rolling.

  • Yes and alias Tom Brady = Dumb and Dumber
    March 12, 2015 at 8:25 pm

    [a large bus full of gorgeous women in bikinis pull up beside them and three step out]

    Bikini Girl: Hi, guys. We’re going on a national bikini tour, and we’re looking for two oil boys who can grease us off before each competition.

    Yes and alias Tom Brady: You are in luck! There’s a town about three miles that way. I’m sure you’ll find a couple guys there.

  • Tom Brady
    March 12, 2015 at 4:57 pm

    Trashy mall for a trashy blog! Fuck you Turtlebitch!

  • The Joker
    March 12, 2015 at 3:15 pm

    This Town Needs an Enema!

  • Clean Hippie
    March 12, 2015 at 1:40 pm

    I couldn’t believe it made it into American Hustle! How many malls do you know have made it into Oscar-worthy movies?

  • Jerry Kaiser
    March 12, 2015 at 1:35 pm

    I remember going to the Mid Town Mall when I was a kid (the late 80s/early 90s). The escalators were broken even back then. I think they are just there for show.

    A few years ago, the T&G did an article on an electronics repair shop located in that mall, and it seemed like the business was really taking off. Is that shop still there?

    • Clean Hippie
      March 12, 2015 at 1:41 pm

      Yeah, they’re mostly good for buying old laptops.

  • Clive's not racist, just ask him.
    March 12, 2015 at 1:10 pm

    I’m going to setup a food stamp exchange business there this weekend $0.50 on the $1…. Better yet, an Obama-phone repair center

  • Yes
    March 12, 2015 at 12:42 pm

    Dead, irrelevant retail in the middle of downtown of a city suggests said city is a miserable place I be . This is your own city and your blog indirectly bashes the city you so quickly defend. The smoldering irony is delicious !

  • Yes
    March 12, 2015 at 12:35 pm

    #trash #LOLWorcester

  • Kris
    March 12, 2015 at 12:09 pm

    I am disappointed that you did not attempt to describe the wonderful smells that overwhelm your senses when you enter this fine shopping center. Something akin to burnt Ramen noodles, combined with incense, mildew and plastic? Yankee Candle should try and replicate that scent someday. Just lovely!

    • Wabbitt
      wabbitt
      March 12, 2015 at 2:55 pm

      I always wondered what that aroma was. But I think you nailed it.

      • The Joker
        March 12, 2015 at 3:21 pm

        Don’t forget about the urine aroma. It’s a pissa!

  • Tom W.
    March 12, 2015 at 11:41 am

    TurtleBoy – Stop sticking ads in the middle of the article … not sure your advertisers welcome people thinking that their establishment is located in the Mid-Town Mall.

  • Danimal
    March 12, 2015 at 11:11 am

    Back in the 80’s they had the pickpocket arcade to the left of the entrance of the mid town mall – play off arcade was better though

    • Clive Mc'turtle
      March 12, 2015 at 11:28 am

      Spent many an afternoon at Silverball. Wasted youth.

    • RSoxGuy
      March 12, 2015 at 4:05 pm

      I sooooooooooooooooo miss Playoff. The stink, the dirt, the low selection of games, 10 coins for a buck? SOLD! that place was great.

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