• 80’s Throwback Crotchdropling Robs Dudley Liquor Store Couple Blocks From Home, Gets Arrested, Has Impromptu Headbanging Concert In Cop Car



    80’s Throwback Crotchdropling Robs Dudley Liquor Store Couple Blocks From Home, Gets Arrested, Has Impromptu Headbanging Concert In Cop Car

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    Well, he seems normal. Must’ve been the “disease.” I heard there’s a bug going on around here in the ratchet community. Maybe if I bang my head against the backseat of my car a bunch of times I’ll magically become a contributing member of society. Or not.

    The most insane part about this story is the fact that he got away with $2,450!! How do you keep that much money in the cash register when you’re that close to Webster?

    Anyway, Zack Coghlin sure is a winner.

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    Nothing rapey looking about that guy!

    Most normal people looking to rob a liquor store would travel a safe distance. Ya know, somewhere not in their back yard where they can be easily identified by the local police. Not this shitstain though. Dipshit McGee robs the store that’s literally a few hundred yards from his house on First Ave.

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    Because they’ll never recognize your greasy, flowing locks at the only liquor store in town.

    Zack evidently is not a Dudley native, and has burned bridges in other lovely communities such as Haverhill.

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    If you’ve got Haverhill moving into your community, that’s not good for property value. Just sayin.

    After Haverhill it looks like he moved on to Concord NH, where he was arrested for receiving stolen property at the KFC:

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    “Hey, I wanna buy this stolen stereo off of you, but we need a safe place to do it where the cops will never check up on. Oh, I know – let’s meet at the KFC parking lot. Because everyone knows that assholes NEVER go to KFC. Ever.”

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    Think he cares what you people think?

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    Think again.

    Unfortunately for the liquor store it looks like the money is gone for good, as it’s been passed on to the Bartlett High School class of 2011 day shift crew:

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    And he sounds like a big tipper.

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    Anyway, free my boi!! Only God can judge him!! You don’t even know him!!

     

     

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    Discussion

    1. ZephyrCat


      I would’ve called him a crotch dumpling.

    2. ZephyrCat


      They are hot but not as hot as my favorite band! Scope out the mad guitar sillz of the lead singer.

      1. The Real ZephyrCat


        Your taste in music is horrible. Go take your dj act to the old folks home.

    3. Miffed


      He looks like a drop out from the End Of Times church

    4. XYZAffair


      Wasn’t this dude in Firehouse?

      1. Joe


        He’s more like Vinnie Vincent’s son.

        1. XYZAffair


          Well, he’ll lick it up in prison.

    5. Ana Garlarza


      “I hit liqs all day, in Tauton!!”

    6. Wtf


      If u slap dat ass too hard on DA floor and hurt said ass, do u get workers comp? Asking for a friend.

    7. Archie


      Note to self:

      -Peach scented clam
      – Topanga

    8. Concord ?


      Enjoy your summer in state prison.

    9. wishididntliveinspencer


      Dig around in good old sphincter… I mean Spencer. I’m sure you’ll learn some interesting stuff about this scuzz nugget

    10. WHATEVUH


      Just another shit-stain on the underwear of society

    11. Lola Bunny


      Wow, major sugar daddy! He had $350, and it was fanned out and everything! What a catch! I bet he has a HUGE bank account too! Wonder how much he has in his 401k?

      1. LLC


        Bwahahaha. A whole $350. what a playboy this trash bag is…

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