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  • Fall River’s 700lbs King Cheesehog Rolls Himself Off The Back Of A Golf Cart, Fakes Injury, So He Can Score More State-Funded Pain Pills



    Fall River’s 800lbs King Cheesehog, Steven Assanti, isn’t fooling anyone in his final episode of My 600lbs Life.

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    Last week I tackled the biggest sack of shit I’ve ever heard of – literally. If you missed this guy, who weighs 800lbs and is a state-funded drug addict,screaming racial slurs at nursing staff and mocking tax payers for being stupid enough to work to support him, check it out here:

    Then, couple of days ago, I got a message from a Turtlerider telling me that Mr. 800lbs King Cheesehog, Steven Assanti, had videotaped me a personal message and posted it to his Facebook page. I guess he called me Turtlebitch and seemingly burned more calories, telling me off, than he had during his entire weight loss program.

    “But Turtlegirl, where’s the video,” you’re probably asking.

    The pussy deleted it before I could get my pretty little fingers on it. Touché, Laardvark.

    I guess he was mad that we generated nearly 4000 signatures to have his healthcare removed on our Change.org petition.That wasn’t just from our area, jackass. California, North and South Carolina, Indiana, Oregon, the list goes on and on.

    People all over the county are TIRED of paying for you to sit back, eat Cheetos, be high on percs, and abuse good people.

    Sign it here if you missed the last blog.
    Again, the fat jokes are too easy. I could call him Jabba and Thicky Minaj until my face was as blue as him reaching for the dip. The real reason people hate him is because he is the world’s worst human and has not made a single positive mark on this planet.

    So, the only thing left on his Facebook page was him telling us to tune in tonight to watch the rest of his 600lbs Life episode because he had a special surprise for us.

    Oh, you going to show us that you aren’t the most spoiled, manipulative, asshole I’ve ever seen? You going to reveal the vlogs where you berate hospital staff, call them the N word, and mock us taxpayers for your free healthcare “stupid” was just some sort of character you were playing? Fuck off.

    Here, watch them again. I know you deleted them a while ago but the internet never forgets.

    Steven, I know you’re reading this completely alone,  high, sucking down a Coca Cola, and licking the cool ranch seasoning off your fingers. How do I know? That’s it. That’s your entire existence. They can’t even pay people to be nice you.

    I caught a small chunk of this episode. I DVR’d it so I could fast-forward the parts that made me want to puke on myself and roll around in it like a sick dog. (Hint: that was most of it.)

    The only thing I was surprised about was how much his father wasn’t an asshole. Seems Steven has been the issue his entire life – and his brother, who seems like a decent kid, is walking proof of it. Stephen spent his entire life stealing his food and making him feel lousy about himself.

    Yeah, Steven is lonely. His con job at the end of the episode wasn’t fooling anyone. Glad he shaped up for the last two minutes of the six-hour broadcast.

    As much as I LOATHE recapping reality TV for my readers, this guy is a local problem, and it effects us on a local level.

    We got word that this guy, his immense weight, and even more horrible attitude, has ended the careers of GOOD hospital workers and EMT/Fire fighters. He is draining the healthcare system, his father says, because he’s lonely and likes to be in hospital because people are there. So, he abuses staff to feel powerful. The only reason we didn’t hear more horror stories is because these people respect their line of work. That’s it.

    At one point during the episode, Steven’s home health worker quit, and he called the police on her to say she stole his TV. Too bad it was on loan from her company. Sweet tantrum. Thanks for wasting emergency resources.

    He’s such a drug addict that he will go to any length to get his pills. During his stay in Houston, for the show, he saw 17 doctors and acquired 39 scripts. Here is the tally of pills he inhaled during a month-long stay:

    259 Tylenol with Codeine

    1045 Tramadol

    970 Hydrocodone

    ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I was spot on calling him a pussy at the beginning of this because he’s got nine lives.

    He even went as far as to fall roll off the back of a golf cart, faking injury, while looking at rental properties. He laid on the ground fake-crying and demanding someone call 911. The EMTs show up, can’t get him on the stretcher, and his father decided to just load him in the car to take him to the shrink. He stayed in the car, pitching a fit, and called 911 AGAIN. Two 911 calls in an hour. Anyone got the cost of those offhand? We paid for them.

    When his father told the EMTS that he was a drug addict, and he was lying, Steven kept up with the lie. That is until his dad said if he went to the hospital for more drug he was leaving him to be homeless.

    Steven popped the neck brace off himself and decides he was fine.

    So, you know what? Sign the petition people. This dude is all done and I’m going to make damn sure we aren’t paying his ride anymore. I would love to hear him tell me I’m wrong… but then again, he’ll probably delete that too.

    Fried chicken.

     

     

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    South Shore Turtlegirl

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    Discussion

    1. Jack Mehoff


      Feed him to the homeless. Soyent Green.

      1. Jennifer


        The homeless don’t deserve that.

    2. ITSJUSTME


      Am I the only one that thinks he weighs a lot more than 700lbs?
      Someone is enabling him, he didn’t get to all those doctors and then the pharmacy on his own. I seriously hope he didn’t get paid for this show.

      1. Linda


        That foot. Holy cow. (no pun intended)

      2. Sara


        He was a bit over 800lbs when this was filmed. Gained over 100 lbs since being out of the hospital the last time.

      3. Paige


        His dad enabled him for a long time before he found out about the drugs! On the road trip they made to Houston to see dr. Now he would call his dad every 2 hours to get him something to eat and his dad would do it! And never mind how he treated the hospital staff! It was the angriest i have ever seen dr. now~

    3. Wasted life


      Can he not even find shoes or socks that fit him?

    4. Cunt Wagon


      I hope he suffocates himself with his neck rolls

    5. Murica


      How could you let yourself get foot rolls…Jesus

    6. Jack LaLane and Jenny Craig's Love Child


      At first I was going to say that anyone that fat was ILL. Physically ill, mentally ill, and emotionally ill and damaged, and I was feeling a little bad for him. UNTIL I watched his videos.

      HEY YOU FAT FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT….LAUGH ALL YOU WANT AT US TAX PAYERS….BUT WE ARE ALIVE, ABLE TO GO OUT AND DO THINGS, HAVING SEX…LOTS OF GREAT BEAUTIFUL SEX WITH GORGEOUS HOT HUMAN BEINGS WHO WOULD NEVER LOOK AT YOU, LET ALONE BE ABLE TO SURVIVE UNDER YOU. SO LAUGH ALL YOU WANT. AT LEAST OUR HARD WORKING, HONEST EARNING ASSES HAVE A LIFE WORTH LIVING FOR. YOU CAN BARELY MOVE AND HAVE TO SIT IN YOUR OWN SHIT BECAUSE YOU AT YOUR WAY TO MISERY.

    7. LocalYokel


      Christ, breaks the thin junkie stereotype huh? Exception to every rule.

    8. Worcester Wangster


      Kids in Africa could eat him.

    9. Martin Correia


      He behaves like a psychopath. He’s too fat to kill anyone, which is good, but if he were able-bodied, I could see him killing his homosexual lovers with no compunction. I don’t think he has any genuine feelings at all.

    10. Lala


      He is a complete waste of life. He has been given every resource someone in his position could ask for. Obviously something went very wrong in his life for him and his brother to be this way but at same point man up and change your life.

    11. Marie


      When he fell off the golf cart I busted out laughing. Too bad he didn’t bounce into the street and get run over by a semi truck.
      Worthless loser.
      I feel sorry for his dad and brother.

    12. Mitur Binesderty


      Eh, he’s 33 it says here. Don’t worry he’ll be dead before 2020.

    13. OctipusPrime


      Mister Metokur (fat guy down by the river vid) and Turtleboy doing god’s work.

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