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Mrs. Turtleboy dragged me down to the Big E a couple years ago and we documented it for the world to see. I promised I’d never go there again and after seeing this post from the Springfield Police Department today, I feel 1,000% validated:
Look at all these morons lined up to go to the worst place on earth:
Sucks to be them. Let’s look at what we missed this year….
A grown man pretending to be Santa’s mailman:
Guys doing live infomercials for frying pans:
Hat salesmen hiding behind a wall of unsold hats
Freaky mutant vegetables
Chariot competitions in front of sold out arenas of wild fans
Fake cows you can milk
Horse and buggies made of better
Fried dough with deep fried Oreo’s
Fried dough with bacon
Huge tents full of people trying to sell you shit you don’t want
Such as “wonder knifes”
Hot tubs you can put in the trunk of your Prius
Wild animals like dogs
Eggs hatching into chickens
Tractors to stare at
Strange men who showed up to the Big E dressed as a princess
Long lines behind fat bastards in Seahawks jerseys
Huge crowds of people waiting to see…….something that must be important
Other crowds wandering around like zombies looking for more fried dough to eat
Guys handing out informational brochures in the State houses
Syrup for sale in the Maine house
Attendance figures from previous Big E’s
Some people take the bus in from the middle of nowhere. And they get a little excited when they get closer. Just for the record, the Big E is not in Worcester:
No word if there’s any mops left over from last year
The demonstrations are pretty wild and they go pretty fast
No word if the cow judging contest was back for the 100th anniversary, but we all remember who got 8th place back in the 90’s
Anyway, the Big E is the worst place on earth. I stand by that. I have no idea why millions of people flock to this place and pay $15 for the right to walk around and have people offer to sell you a bunch of stuff you don’t want. But they do, and it is fantastic people watching. Should we go back next weekend? Could be interesting.
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