• Prego Connecticut Corridor Velociratchet Shares WINY Radio Post About Her Arrest Over Fentanyl Dispute With Local Afropotamus



    Prego Connecticut Corridor Velociratchet Shares WINY Radio Post About Her Arrest Over Fentanyl Dispute With Local Afropotamus

    Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.

     

     

     

     

     

    This is 19 year old Mary DeJesse from Eastford, CT, located in the gutterslug ratchetville known as the Connecticut Corridor:

    She’s currently upset about her mother due to her choice in chudstuffers:

    Naturally having a black boyfriend gives her special privileges to use the n word freely:

    She recently graduated from high school but is upset that she had to waste 12 years of her life because she could’ve taught herself how to speak in broken English:

    She’s having trouble finding a job because they “don’t pay shit” and some of the places she’s applying want her to work 5-9 hour shifts:

    No one should be forced to work more than 20 hours a week. The struggle is real.

    Plus filling out applications is a LOT of work:

    I hate writing my name, date of birth, and previous job experience. It’s the worst!!

    Mary has a great rapport with the police:

    Boom. Roasted!

    Perhaps she hates the cops because she often runs into them while actively breaking the law. Ya know, like two weeks ago when she was arrested in Plainfield on an arrest warrant from an attempted robbery:

    Because pulling off a robbery is a lot of work. But at least she attempted it.

    And what does a velociratchet like this do after being made an object of public ridicule by WINY Radio? Share the humiliating arrest news on her Facebook page of course:

    Bold move Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off.

    Some people started pointing out the hilarity of her exposing herself as if it’s some hoodrat Nobel prize. She wanted to make it very clear – she dindu nuffin:

    “You don’t know me.” That’s the ratchet fallback defense when you’ve played the, “Only God can judge” card one too many times.

    She should probably get her story straight before posting next time though:

    So it wasn’t you, it was your boyfriend. Then two minutes later your boyfriend dindu nuffin either. Yea this is all adding up. Whatever you do Mary, don’t stop posting things on Facebook!

    Yea, you’re clean for sure. This is what “clean” people look like:

    Things started looking up for Mary last week. She finally got a call back for a job interview:

    Then she got some more great news:

    Oh good, she’s going to reproduce. That’s just swell. And why not? She’s obviously in the ideal position to raise a litter of children. She’s been employed for all of 24 hours, she’s armed with a high school degree, and she’s totally not a junkie.

    The best part? She’s gonna turn her life around and do a 360……….which now that I think about will lead her directly back to the ratchet state of life she’s currently in. Ya know, because there’s 360 degrees in a circle. I think the number she was looking for was 180. Pretty sure they taught that in high school. The same high school she didn’t need to go to because she already knows everything.

    unnamed (1)

    Now that she’s been pregnant for all of a week she’s already busting out the pregnancy memes:

    True that girl!

    Anyway, now that she’s got a baby on the way it’s time to change her ways and stop getting arrested. Oh wait, I forgot – she’s doing a 360. In that case she should keep getting arrested in Plainfield for buying drugs:

    Looks like she should’ve done a 180 instead. It’s cool though because she got 99 problems and fentanyl ain’t one!

    Because for Mary fentanyl isn’t the problem, it’s the solution.

    A normal person would stay far away from a WINY Radio post designed to humiliate them. Not Mary DeJesse though. She came right back to tell everyone to shut the fuck up:

    Yea, you were arrested for yelling, not for possession of narcotics while allegedly being pregnant. That’s it.

    The lovely creature she was arguing with is a real gem too. Meet Isaiah Snell:

    Just like the velociratchet he was aruging with, this Afropotamus is no stranger to the WINY Radio hoodrat hall of fame:

    Gotta make that cheddar dog!! If business picks up he might be able to afford that fitted hat he’s had his eye on instead of the free hat they give you when you sign up for Tee-Ball.

    Good thing these judges keep letting him back onto the streets to peddle his poison. It’s not like we’re in the middle of an opiate epidemic or anything like that.

    Mr. Afropotamus was sick of Moosup five years ago

    Because it’s like south central with the drive byes:

    Yet five years later he’s still here, dominating the WINY Radio hall of shame. Funny how that works.

    Anyway, if Mary the velociratchet or Isaiah the afropotamus want to defend their honor and explain their side of the story, we encourage them to message us so we can have them come on Turtleboy Live this Sunday night. It’s not a trap either. We literally let you come on our award winning program and say whatever you want. Because at Turtleboy we’re all about fairness and hearing both sides of a story.

     

    We urge you to support the following local businesses.

    screen-shot-2016-12-05-at-8-36-43-pm

    unnamed (1)

     

    Screen Shot 2017-02-01 at 10.32.58 AM

    Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM

    Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 10.14.48 AM

    Screen Shot 2017-03-31 at 2.17.19 PM

    4ba27317-991b-4352-b70d-f489eadcfdef (1)

    Screen Shot 2017-03-25 at 8.48.23 PM

    Join the Discussion

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    Discussion

    1. suckittrebek


      Anyone else think its hilarious that she left a pregnancy test laying around and supposedly her dad found it. Like what, you piss on the thing and just leave it next to your toothbrush. In her case she probably pissed in the sink and left it next to the dirty dishes.

      1. Spinning head


        She has no clue what is going on, guarantee she doesn’t know left from right. Let’s see 12 years of school wasted, she must have skipped a grade somewhere because last I checked you also must go through kindergarten. That would be 13 silly!
        Her daddy living in that shelter with her? She did say she was living in a shelter. Daddy how do you know it was your daughters pregnancy test? Is she the only one in that shelter who’s gross and that lazy to leave the pissy stick sitting there? Did we all notice though when she put the status about being pregnant it was spelled and punctuated like someone payed attention sometimes during her 12 wasted years.

    2. Bob E. Lee


      Dude looks just like a monkey, perhaps he’s the proverbial missing link society has been searching for.

    3. Lisa flood


      this girl !!!! Complaining school did not teach her a thing , had nothing to offer her… can’t even read a pregnancy test ????Her Dad had to chase her down after he found it to tell her she was,indeed pregnant !!! then so proud and clean is she ,” NEVADIDNUFFIN,GETS ARRESTED WITH HER MAN FOR HEROIN AND FEYTANAL .”PLEASE LITTLE SISTER ,GO BACK TO SCHOOL , IF YOU HAVENT BURNT ALL THOSE BRIDGES ,APOLOGIZE SINCERELY ,AND HOPE THAT YOU AND THAT BABY …. BECAUSE YOU ARE A BABY THAT CAN BE SAVED

  • Heidi Wellman For Senate

  • arrow