All-Star Criminals

3 Winners From Worcester Caught Breaking Into Cars In Auburn Is Why Living In Auburn Defeats The Point Of Moving Out Of Worcester

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Auburn Police Department Facebook PageAn alert citizen contacted police this morning at 4:11 am reporting a strange vehicle and three men with flashlights outside of her home. A short time later, officers responding in the area were able to verify that several unlocked cars in the Idlewood Drive area had been broken into. Officers remained in the area and located four individuals walking through a nearby residential neighborhood. Further investigation conducted at the scene linked the males to the victimized cars. A total of four males were arrested in connection with the car breaks. A juvenile from Worcester, Andreas Enetzelis 18, of Worcester, Bret Witkowski 18, of Leicester and Mario Salgado 18, of Worcester. The three adult males will be arraigned in Worcester District Court later this morning on charges of B&E Vehicle Night Time, Larceny Under $250 and Receiving Stolen Property.

I’ve always found Auburn to be an appealing place to live because you’ll never be more than five minutes away from a chain restaurant or a major highway. But unfortunately, Auburn is kind of like a Worcester Jr, and the easy access into town makes it more accesible to some of Worcester’s finest. Check out this trio of winners who were robbing cars in Auburn. First you have this genius:


Sweet baby Jesus. Save some smack for the rest of the crackheads pal. Then there was this winner:


You couldn’t grow a dirtier looking beard full of overgrown pubes and Greek pizza grease if you tried.


Good God. I can see it was “Worcester does wife-beater night in Auburn” last night. That picture right there is why Turtleboy Jr. will never be allowed to ride a skateboard. Is there a rule that skaters MUST go out of their way to look like a freak show? And before you say he’s not a skater, just stop. Because there is a 0.0% chance this kid doesn’t own at least three skateboards.

Every other town that borders Worcester at least has some sort of buffer. Millbury has Route 20, Shrewsbury’s got Lake Quinsigamond, Holden and Leicester have miles of woods, and Paxton’s got a big ass hill to keep the skateboarders out. But Auburn’s got no buffer zone. You can just walk right into Auburn from any point in Webster Square. And Webster Square is crawling with dooshnozzles in wife-beaters who haven’t showered and need their next fix.

This one hits close to home because we literally delivered a couple “I Am Turtleboy” shirts to Idlewood Drive a couple weeks ago. Don’t fuck with Turtle Riders. They’re always ready to call Auburn’s finest to help take care of the trash that trickles in from Worcester.

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33 Comment(s)
  • Somebody's Mama
    June 2, 2015 at 12:25 pm

    LOL Witkowski IS a skateboarder. Used to be a nice kid. His parents moved from Worcester to Leicester in part because this kid was turning into trash. I feel bad for them. He is heading down the wrong road for sure.

  • kdog
    May 30, 2015 at 1:35 pm

    there are no woods seperating worcester from holden dumbass. ps. your blog sucks. thank you.

  • Finnish Goalie
    May 30, 2015 at 11:34 am

  • Tom Brady
    May 30, 2015 at 11:01 am

    Ignorance is bliss. To the guy with the galaxy S6, if you think that makes you cool or successful, you obviously have mental issues.

  • Carlo's Daddy
    May 30, 2015 at 9:43 am


  • jay
    May 30, 2015 at 8:49 am

    I guess I read at a 6th grade level.. blogs seem fine to me. Cpl errors but I compare it to every txt or email I type on my Samsung Galaxy S6 (that’s right bitch, S6]
    Keep on writing what I read.
    Come to think aboot it, am I turtleboy?

  • SnapperMan
    May 30, 2015 at 6:39 am

    Do you even take time to read what you are writing? Judging by the way you write, it would appear that you don’t know how to read. Multiple grammar errors, childish remarks and personal threats. You sir are a moron of the highest degree. Why does everybody from Worcester have to be a crackhead? Why does every kid who makes a bad decision have to be a scumbag? If you have never made a bad decision in your life then my friend you’ve lived a pathetic life. Thus painting a more vivid picture of who I may imagine you are, a troll with a personal grudge against Worcester. Maybe change your name to Troll Boy. When an adult is breaking into a car it is usually to support a drug habit . The majority of the time when a teenager is involved it is out of boredom and usually influenced by another friend. I do agree they seem a little rough but definitely not crackheads. As for your opinion on skateboarders… So pathetic I don’t even want to comment . I guarantee your son won’t skateboard but not because you won’t let him. Chances are he will follow daddy into the troll business. Maybe even take it one step further and have YouTube videos complaining about Worcester and how sh/city it is . Try jerking your little troll dick before posting another article and not after . It may just be the stress relief you were looking for. Also it will give you time to realize how sixth grade level you articles seem.

    • JayC
      May 30, 2015 at 7:33 am

      You ask why does every kid (?) who makes a bad decision is called a scumbag? Well, if you actually read the article, they are 18, which makes them ADULTS. And when you commit felonies, that makes you a scumbag.

      Also, your argument that adults who break in to cars usually do it because of a drug habit, but teenagers do it out boredom. But what if the teenagers are adults? Most teens have morals enough to know that stealing is bad and not a solution to boredom. Either way, whether for boredom or drugs, B&E to cars in the middle of the night makes you a scumbag felon, and pretty worthless to society.

      Since these geniuses are 18 and ADULTS why aren’t they going to college and working a part-time job, working a full-time job and going to college evenings, or if college isn’t their cup of tea, working full-time and picking up a part-time job for some extra cash. And no, breaking in to cars is not a job, that doesn’t count.

    • Thinking
      May 30, 2015 at 1:53 pm

      Don’t expect others to look the other way and not react when someone steals. You have to be a certain kind of caliber of scum to steal. Theres something like deep to the core rotten of a person who robs another and also people who think it’s no big deal. Really rotten.

  • smithf2015
    May 29, 2015 at 11:32 pm

    I wanted to read this article…but too many spelling errors, and biasis and talking so unprofessionally and stereotyping like a 9th grader really makes me feel like these articles arent really credible and now I just read them to laugh at turtleboy..I mean he’s putting a threat on an article…how stupid can you be…anyone can print this out and forward it to the police dumb ass b!;$!# xD

    • Rob
      May 30, 2015 at 8:41 am

      How stupid can you be to male up false accusations. TB makes no illegal threats in this post.

      The only threat I see is “Don’t fuck with Turtle Riders. They’re always ready to call Auburn’s finest to help take care of the trash that trickles in from Worcester.”

    • Z
      May 30, 2015 at 6:38 pm

      Like, like, like, like…. Say “like” one more time Regina George…

  • SKBD
    May 29, 2015 at 11:16 pm

    Kid’s like this make the rest of the skateboard community look bad. I know many well educated skaters that are employed and on the right path in life. Don’t bring skateboarding into this article just because some kid who happens to skateboard makes a stupid decision. The two subjects don’t correlate.

  • samuel
    May 29, 2015 at 9:10 pm

    But to be honest and no rudeness don’t involve the word skateboarding as apart of this situation I got mad but it gives you know right to start critizing him if u don’t know him. Skateboarding has no connection to what he did watch what you say next time

    • Ariel
      May 29, 2015 at 9:34 pm


    • Z
      May 30, 2015 at 6:36 pm


  • samuel
    May 29, 2015 at 9:00 pm

    Ur a faggot ass hypocrit who knows nothing about skateboarding. And don’t talk shit on my boy Brett cuz I bet you come up with this bs crap cuz when you tried to skate u fucking sucked and u had no friends asshole. He the coolest guy out here go fuck urself bitch fag

    • Not-A-Hippie
      May 29, 2015 at 9:09 pm

      Looks like Turtleboy was spot-on with his douchenozzle assessment.

      • samuel
        May 29, 2015 at 9:12 pm

        I was mad biotch

        • Not-A-Hippie
          May 29, 2015 at 9:25 pm

          How you do anything is how you do everything. I can tell by your vocabulary you’re nothing but a juvenile and imbecile.

    • Z
      May 29, 2015 at 10:10 pm

      Associate with an asshole, become an asshole. Align yourself with scumbags, become a scumbag. Both statements seem to be pretty reflective of you. Go get an education and stop riding that piece of plywood with wheels bruh.

      P.S. Invest in a helmet. It seems that you have fallen off of your skateboard too many times and have suffered severe brain damage as a result.

      Double P.S. Stop smoking marijuana. It causes you to be a person that possesses a low I.Q. that struggles with the most basic spelling and grammar.

    • satan
      May 29, 2015 at 10:24 pm

      You idiot really showing the skate community off

    • Sam+Brett Sitting in a Tree
      June 4, 2015 at 10:58 am

      Easy, Sam. He moved away from your “hood.” He’s not your neighbor anymore. Do you miss him or something? LOL

  • Steve austin
    May 29, 2015 at 6:33 pm

    Enjoy most of your articles but everyone of them has major spelling errors. Do you know what the hell spell check is? Does any of the authors ever proof read before posting? If you think you want to replace The Worcester Telegram as the main news feed, you need to get someone with at least a 6th grade education to be an editor.

    • samuel
      May 29, 2015 at 9:11 pm


  • JayC
    May 29, 2015 at 5:37 pm

    Auburn is a town that has some coin and if the residents want to keep the riff-raff out they should consider building a buffer. How about a nice wide river? Take the Kettle Brook and Stoneville Brook and run them right in to a raging river along the boarder that dumps in the Blackstone somewhere around Quinsig Village. If any criminal element like the three pictured try and traverse it high on their drug of choice they’ll be swept down to Providence. Problem solved.

    • 308
      May 30, 2015 at 8:38 am

      Maybe we should build a wall around the woo

  • Not-A-Hippie
    May 29, 2015 at 3:52 pm

    Nothing a dose of lead can’t cure. Let the cops come pick up the bodies. Problem solved.

    And yeah, every time I see someone with those big gaping holes in their earlobes, I want to run up to them and snap on the biggest padlock I can find. Good luck running with that in your ear, pal.

    • samuel
      May 29, 2015 at 9:13 pm

      U need to padlock ur mouth cuz ur acting like you a big dog f*** boy

      • SnapperMan
        May 30, 2015 at 6:43 am


      • Not-A-Hippie
        May 30, 2015 at 6:57 am

        This big dog bites.

    • BobnMic
      May 29, 2015 at 9:55 pm

      Brad Hamilton: Why don’t you get a job Spicoli?

      Jeff Spicoli: What for?

      Brad Hamilton: You need money.

      Jeff Spicoli: All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I’m fine.

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