Auburn Police Department Facebook Page: An alert citizen contacted police this morning at 4:11 am reporting a strange vehicle and three men with flashlights outside of her home. A short time later, officers responding in the area were able to verify that several unlocked cars in the Idlewood Drive area had been broken into. Officers remained in the area and located four individuals walking through a nearby residential neighborhood. Further investigation conducted at the scene linked the males to the victimized cars. A total of four males were arrested in connection with the car breaks. A juvenile from Worcester, Andreas Enetzelis 18, of Worcester, Bret Witkowski 18, of Leicester and Mario Salgado 18, of Worcester. The three adult males will be arraigned in Worcester District Court later this morning on charges of B&E Vehicle Night Time, Larceny Under $250 and Receiving Stolen Property.
I’ve always found Auburn to be an appealing place to live because you’ll never be more than five minutes away from a chain restaurant or a major highway. But unfortunately, Auburn is kind of like a Worcester Jr, and the easy access into town makes it more accesible to some of Worcester’s finest. Check out this trio of winners who were robbing cars in Auburn. First you have this genius:
Sweet baby Jesus. Save some smack for the rest of the crackheads pal. Then there was this winner:
You couldn’t grow a dirtier looking beard full of overgrown pubes and Greek pizza grease if you tried.
Good God. I can see it was “Worcester does wife-beater night in Auburn” last night. That picture right there is why Turtleboy Jr. will never be allowed to ride a skateboard. Is there a rule that skaters MUST go out of their way to look like a freak show? And before you say he’s not a skater, just stop. Because there is a 0.0% chance this kid doesn’t own at least three skateboards.
Every other town that borders Worcester at least has some sort of buffer. Millbury has Route 20, Shrewsbury’s got Lake Quinsigamond, Holden and Leicester have miles of woods, and Paxton’s got a big ass hill to keep the skateboarders out. But Auburn’s got no buffer zone. You can just walk right into Auburn from any point in Webster Square. And Webster Square is crawling with dooshnozzles in wife-beaters who haven’t showered and need their next fix.
This one hits close to home because we literally delivered a couple “I Am Turtleboy” shirts to Idlewood Drive a couple weeks ago. Don’t fuck with Turtle Riders. They’re always ready to call Auburn’s finest to help take care of the trash that trickles in from Worcester.