60 Year Old Cape Cod Elementary School Principal Arrested For Stealing Back Sex Toys From Flaccid Ex-Boyfriend He Was Using With New GF, Free My Boi!!

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Cape Cod Times: The principal of Stony Brook Elementary School in Brewster pleaded not guilty in Falmouth District Court on Monday to charges she broke into an ex-boyfriend’s Mashpee condominium and stole a book and sex toys, according to court documents. On Oct. 15, police received a report of stolen items from one of the condominiums at 174 Lowell Road, a police report says.

The ex-boyfriend and a woman, who both appeared intoxicated at the time, told police they came home from watching the New England Patriots game and found someone had gone through their things and that their sex toys were missing, police wrote. During the investigation, the ex-boyfriend started banging on the door of Mary Patricia Allen, who lives in the same apartment building, the report says. Allen, 60, told police she had gone into her ex’s condo through the back door, but did not have a key and took some of the toys, the report says. The man said she had no right to be in the apartment, according to the report. The ex-boyfriend appeared to be withholding information “but remained adamant that Patricia had broke into his home,” the report says.

So this guy and his ex-wife, who is an elementary school principal, liked to use some props in the bedroom, which he now uses with his new girlfriend? I dunno how I’d feel about as a woman if my boy toy was basically using hand me down dildos in order to give me the oh-oh face. Like, you can’t spring for new ones you cheap prick?

Gonna be honest, I gotta pull a free my boi on this one. The lady wanted her anal beads and butt plugs back. Those are kind of personal items. This was the part that did it for me:

The ex-boyfriend and a woman, who both appeared intoxicated at the time, told police they came home from watching the New England Patriots game and found someone had gone through their things and that their sex toys were missing, police wrote

These two get back to their apartment all wasted at 4:30 PM on a Sunday, and the first thing he does is go to bust out the rubber fisting mitten and the Hitachi magic wand. Tom fucking Brady, getting New Englanders moist since 1999.

Quite frankly I’d be embarrassed to call the cops if I was this guy. He’s basically telling them,

“I’m trying to give my girlfriend the throbbing whistle but all I can ever offer her is this meat slinky, and thus I require special devices in order to make sure that at least one of us has an orgasm. I’d like them back please.”

Not a good look.

Honestly, fuck this guy. That lady right there is a prime looking star gazer for someone who’s over 60. He probably traded her in for a newer model and refused to return any of her shit. So what’s a girl to do? He’s getting laid and she’s just sitting around her house by herself without any assistance. To me she has every right to go back and reclaim her  G spot gyro. Plus, he left his door open like an idiot. It’s not like she stole his TV and percocets.

I have a feeling she’s gonna lose her job over this one and that ain’t right. Unfortunately when you’re a principal like this you’re held to a much higher standard than the President, which is insane. But it is what it is. And now thanks to the Cape Cod Times choosing to write about this, all the kids are gonna know that she’s into cock rings and penis sleeves. Hard to gain the respect of children when they Google your name and that’s the first thing that pops up.

Free mah girl!!

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