All-Star Criminals

Abington Poon-Tang Clan Gets Arrested For Trying To Fight Brockton Cop After Getting Kicked Out Of Foxy Lady 

 

Brockton EnterpriseThree men were arrested early Sunday morning and charged with causing a disturbance at a gentleman’s club. Officers responded to the Foxy Lady, at 265 North Pearl St., for a report of a disturbance about 12:59 a.m. An officer who was working a detail at the establishment reported the incident to dispatch and requested additional officers to the scene. Police say an employee of the club told a man trying to enter, 21-year-old Sean Wallace, that he couldn’t enter because he had already had enough to drink. The employee told police Wallace was unsteady on his feet while trying to get inside. The two men with Wallace, identified as 21-year-olds Ryan Paris and Daniel Malone, began to argue with a police officer working a detail at the business, according to police. The officer asked the three men to leave or they could face being arrested.

“Police gave them several chances to avoid arrest, but the men continued to defy club and police orders to leave the premises,” said police spokesman Darren Duarte. “They also caused a disturbance by arguing with other patrons.”

Police say Wallace “got into a fighting stance” with officers and refused to put his hands behind his back to allow officers to handcuff him.

All three men were taken into custody by officers. Wallace, of 62 Olson St., Abington; Malone, of 147 Vanburen Drive, Abington; and Paris, of 20 Ipswich St., Hull, were all charged with disorderly conduct and trespassing. Wallace was also charged with resisting arrest. They were all scheduled to be arraigned Monday in Brockton District Court, but the results of the hearings weren’t immediately available.

First time out at the strip club boys? Do you understand how much of a fetus fungus you have to be to get get kicked out of the Foxy Lady in Brockton? I’ve never been to the Foxy Lady, Brockton chapter, but I would imagine the kind of skags who work there are about 1 step away from playing zombie frogger on Meth Mile. There are easier and cheaper ways to catch a venereal disease in Brockton fellas.

This one was the ringleader.

He thought it would be a wise idea to square up and fight the cop, because that’s a high percentage move. You gotta be really desperate for rancid poon-tang if you’re willing to go to jail in order to fight for your right to throw dollar bills at the Brockton High School class of infinity. You might be able to get away with doing that if you’re a big tipper, but these three stooges might as well have Mom’s basement tattooed on their foreheads. Out here looking like Uncle Turtleboy with an allergic reaction to dairy.

If you see your friend trying to fight a cop, he’s gonna get kicked out. If you really wanna throw your money at the GED Express so they’ll show you a little coochi, just let him go next time boys.

 

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29 Comment(s)
  • AspiringBabyDaddy
    October 1, 2019 at 6:50 pm

    This is fantastic. Thank you, SSTG. I love this sh*t.

  • Bob
    October 1, 2019 at 3:13 pm

    Why is this news??? You can pretty much go to any city that is over 30,000 people, on any weekend, and have this exact story. Did one of the jackasses try to stick his dick in a gas tank??? Did one of these idiots try to give the bouncer a fake ID, that said he was 67 and Asian??? Is one of the fucknuggets trying to start a gofundme account to help pay his legal defense??? Why is this story any different than the dozens and dozens of like stories that will happen this weekend or next weekend???

    • True Reality Speaks
      TBS Needs To Up Its Standards
      October 1, 2019 at 7:19 pm

      It’s not. Unfortunately, TBS still lets SSTG write some of the articles – and the whole blog suffers for it.

  • Oscar Meyer
    October 1, 2019 at 2:44 pm

    No way the fat one wasn’t going into Franks to get some foot Longs and got the entrance’s confused.

  • Chester the Fupa Molester
    October 1, 2019 at 1:49 pm

    That Pudgy fuck looks like Bobby Hill on meth.

    Where the hell did his neck run off to? It looks like a giant elongated chin. Half Turkey Gobbler half ham. Last time he hit the Gym he was drunk driving.

    I think I found that same Graduation Gown in the camping section at Dicks. Speaking of Dicks he hasn’t seen his since Clinton was getting sucked off in the Oval office.

    I wonder if he calls his Father. Dad, Uncle or Uncle Daddy there’s no way he isn’t the product of inbreeding but it’s okay he loves his Auntie Mamma. He better call the lost and found to see if they got his missing chromosome.

    and to quote Hank Hill that boy ain’t right.

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      October 1, 2019 at 2:00 pm

      “Last time he hit the Gym he was drunk driving”

      I’m dying over here. Thanks for laugh!

  • ANGRY GIANT
    October 1, 2019 at 1:23 pm

    Isn’t this the place that Marilyn works at? The Miss Mantown candidate from another topic?

  • ncfoothillbilly
    October 1, 2019 at 1:19 pm

    The one thing not found in a ‘gentlemans club’ is gentlemen. Cocaine and VD for all, though…

  • don
    October 1, 2019 at 12:50 pm

    BREAKING NEWS: foxy lady just renamed to cellulite city. Bring your rolls of quarters.

  • hank
    October 1, 2019 at 12:44 pm

    Good thing the doorman didn’t let them in because there’d be no pussy for anyone else. Especially if that chinless baby bird looking ball of sex unleashed his virgin charms on the dancers.

  • Wondering
    October 1, 2019 at 11:51 am

    Is Abington a shithole? Seen quite a few of them on here over the years. They should have their faces rearranged in their booking photos. That would be a better lesson

  • Thom McCann
    October 1, 2019 at 11:51 am

    This blog is one of the worse to ever come across the TBS wires. It’s all well and good to shame these bozos for fighting with the Cops, but it is egregious reporting to bad mouth a club that you never stepped foot in. The FoxyBrockton is one of the nicest drinking establishments on the South Shore. The club also has a very attractive and professional staff. Check it out some time.

    • DJ Scratch and Sniff
      October 1, 2019 at 11:56 am

      What night do you shake your ass there?

    • FoxyBrockton
      October 1, 2019 at 1:51 pm

      Not sure if this sarcasm (or not), so I threw you a like. But FoxyBrockton sure does rhyme with OxyContin, and that could be turned into a killer rap lyric for any aspiring rappers out there.

      Well done!

  • Liberty is worth fighting for
    October 1, 2019 at 11:28 am

    That shit eating grin on Ginger boy will get him far in life. I can’t believe it hasn’t been rearranged yet.

  • Lou P
    Lou P
    October 1, 2019 at 10:59 am

    It gets worse for the Wallace home in Abington.
    A Google trophy in 2015 to Megan Wallace (Sister?) for her heroin trafficking charges.
    https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.enterprisenews.com/article/20150601/NEWS/150609751%3Ftemplate%3Dampart

    Looks like these can trace back to Mom and Dad and has spread throughout the household at 62 Olson St. Abington.

    Sean has a great future ahead being featured on TurtleboySports blog.

  • bada bing
    October 1, 2019 at 10:57 am

    not really turtle materiel. hasnt everyone been an idiot at least once in their lives? 21 and at the titty club? come on!

    • 21ndumb
      October 1, 2019 at 11:08 am

      I agree with you BADA BING. This shenanigan shouldn’t make the cut.

      • 21ndumb
        October 1, 2019 at 11:14 am

        HOWEVER, I love TB and love the content; despite what I see as a slight decline recently. Slow news days happen and I’m still glad you put it up because it is funny, and I would have missed it.

    • Real_Finn
      Finn
      October 1, 2019 at 11:24 am

      Bada Bing,

      Agree to disagree. It’s a growing trend now to “fight the police” whenever shit doesn’t go someone’s way.

      I have zero problem with him being a douchey 21 year old at strip club — but squaring off to a cop because it’s the trendy thing to do needs to end. They look like card-holding members of Antifa with parents who have lawyers on retainer.

      Finn

      • 21ndumb
        October 1, 2019 at 12:02 pm

        Valid point.

      • bada bing
        October 1, 2019 at 12:28 pm

        do you ever STFU? No one cares about your opinion

    • Bada bang
      October 1, 2019 at 1:58 pm

      Bada Bing, I agree and I know have been an idiot at these places, but INSIDE the club, which these guys never got.

      I’m just sayin’!

    • South of Andover
      October 2, 2019 at 5:23 pm

      It wasn’t a regular kicked out story. Instead it was a challenge a cop and be disorderly story. That said, they qualify for Turtleboy’s original theme: calling out stupid. A one hit wonder story like this isn’t a problem.

  • ChrisInShrewsbury
    ChrisInShrewsbury
    October 1, 2019 at 10:24 am

    Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

    • bada bing
      October 1, 2019 at 11:54 am

      finn i agree hitting a cop should get your ass locked right the fuck up. but turtleboy coverage? back in my day kids took swings at cops too. they usually wound up in the emergency room and no one said a word. the cops doled out some street justice. nobody gets a record and turtleboy never finds out it happened. im glad i grew up before all the cameras.

      • Real_Finn
        Finn
        October 1, 2019 at 12:49 pm

        Banged,
        “finn i agree hitting a cop should get your ass locked right the fuck up.”

        I never “agreed” to them getting their “ass[es] locked right the fuck up”. Where did I write that? I wish the police could knock their fucking teeth out for squaring up – but jail is fine.

        “but turtleboy coverage?”

        Yeah. Because now they can see that behaving like an asshole in public and squaring off to cops is pretty shitty. They love filming their stupid antics when the cards are in their favor. I kinda like it when the tables are turned. Fuck them.

        Get Fucked,
        Finn

    • John Wypyszinski
      Herr Doktor
      October 1, 2019 at 11:55 am

      Later while they’re waiting to get bailed – “Dude, I can’t believe I got punched out IN FRONT OF A COP!”
      “Bro, face it you got punched out BY the cop…”
      “Yeah, but I was fixina get in his ass an’ -”
      Cop looks in the cell “You three morons shut up or I’m coming in there and you get some more. ”
      All three look at the floor, “Yessir, you’re not gonna call our parents are you?”

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