All-Star Criminals

All-Star Lush Mom Starts GoFundMe To Win Son Back From Ex And DCF, Turns Out She Crashed Drunk And Is Really Raising Money For Lawyer

All-Star Lush Mom Starts GoFundMe To Win Son Back From Ex And DCF, Turns Out She Crashed Drunk And Is Really Raising Money For Lawyer

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You ever run into someone who seems normal at first glance, then you take a look into their personal life and realize you’re dealing with a psycho? I present to you the most insane GoFundMe I have ever read. It was written by a delusional woman named Elisa Schippers:

Woah. Put the bottle down honey, you’re making absolutely no sense. First of all, if your ex-husband put an abuse prevention order out on you the chances that you are insane are pretty high. She talks about self medicating by using anxiety medicine mixed with alcohol, but you know, she’s “better now” (she isn’t, you will see when you scroll down). It’s obvious this woman had her children taken away because she’s a psychotic pill popping alcoholic who put her wants for all things illegal before the love of her child. Not only does she accuse her ex-husband of having lots of money and indirectly assuming he has “bought” his custody, she also blames DCF. Her son was taken away because she failed to follow the orders DCF had given her. They were simple. All she had to do was attend classes and AA for her alcoholism. Instead, she decided she didn’t want to take those classes, and decided to go to “nursing” school instead. I’m glad that there has not been a donation yet, because the chances she would use that toward winning custody of her son would be slim. She would definitely buy some nips and have a good time.

Her post has since been removed, but I was too quick with my screenshots. Here are some of the replies to her cry for help:

Oh, so DCF gives children to abusive ex-husbands? News to me.

She “rolled” her car over in the morning to avoid hitting another car that had a child in it. Oh, what a super hero! Except, she’s full of shit:

She was drunk driving at 4:33 a.m. – that is why her car rolled over. This moron is lucky to be alive. Thankfully, she did not harm any innocent people.

That is only the icing on the cake. She has a history of being a shit stain on society:

Because the first time you’re arrested in Florida means nothing, let’s give it a second shot:

If you get bored of Florida, just go to Mississippi:

Then when you’re done being a trashy shit bag down south, come back up North:

That happened in 2014. Then she recently decided that all of her legal woes were boring and wanted to crash her car while she was drunk. Yes, she definitely lost her son because of her “rich” husband and her conspiracy that he’s buying his right to custody by paying DCF.

When normal people make a post on Facebook and start getting reamed, they either disappear or they delete their post. Not Elisa, she kept arguing with everyone:

Wait, what? She’s saying she failed a field sobriety test because she was walking in heels? I’m sure she could have asked to remove them. What an excuse… The “HA you try please” kills me. I have walked in 4 inch heels while I’m so drunk I see stars, and I’m capable of getting to my destination just fine. For a seasoned alcoholic, she’s a light weight.

Elisa, we will never understand. Do you not see how crazy you are? I mean, the lights are on but no one is home. Also, I find it hard to believe you go to college. Maybe Salter, but we all know Salter is for people who have a Room Temp IQ. That’s anywhere from 68-77 for all you Salter students reading.

She’s obviously in some serious denial. Alcohol can do that to someone. It’s like when you drink so much and you look at someone and think they are attractive, but it’s clearly beer goggle attractive. It’s fucking mind boggling how that works by the way. I’m always amazed, and then frightened when I sober up!

Anyhow, I found a cry baby bitch among the comments on her thread:

Matt Brodeur, Hi. I’m Feisty, the ultimate cuntastic warrior writing this blog right now. I’m a woman by the way. When I read your comment I laughed. My profile is in your group, it’s a nice vanilla-safe profile that no one would ever consider to be associated with TB. As Lisa Robbit states, Turtleboy is everywhere. Now your comment lands on the blog you wish didn’t happen. What kind of sorcery have I pulled off?

On to the crazy. Elisa is by all definitions of the word, delusional. Here are some nonsensical rants you can find on her Facebook page:

What? What is she talking about? She’s never getting her son back. She’s clearly a delusional woman who lacks the maternal instincts and parental quality to ever be around her son again.

Wonderful. The best way to win your child back is admitting to the public that you want to be sedated, because that’s how normal people deal with life issues.

Shut. Up. You ruined the chances. Stop placing blame on your poor ex-husband. Leaving you was the best decision he has probably ever made.

On your way where? To the north fucking pole? It’s June. Why are you in full blizzard gear? Why are you wearing pants with shorts? So many questions that will go unanswered because you seem to talk to yourself; a lot. At least when I do it, it’s because my husband is pretending to listen, but that’s a different story for another day.

Huh? Put the bottle down! I BEG YOU, PLEASE! God Deliver her from her evil alcoholism and make her go away!! AMEN!

Yeah, you have stretch marks from being pregnant. That’s about the only thing you’re left with seeing as how you were such a shitty mother you lost custody of your son. Do you realize how bad a woman has to be in order to lose custody? Men get the shit end of the stick when it comes to custody battles. The fact that her ex has her son says a lot about how crazy she is.

Any of you reading this shit? I just took screenshots in case people were interested in her crazy. I have no patience to read it. Please, someone give me cliff notes in the comments.

Oh for the love of God. Your baby was not stolen! You chose alcohol over your child, and completely abandoned him. His father has custody because you were not deemed fit enough to be a parent. I can’t believe that are people who fall for her sympathy seeking. Richard… I’m sure he was trying to slide in the DM’s – good luck bro, the crazy ones are not as much fun as people say. I’m sure you will wake up in the middle of the night and you will catch her placing her ear on your chest. Not in a “I want to cuddle” way but in a “I want to count how many times your heart beats before I put a knife through it” way. Careful, buddy.

I am positive no one is going to donate to this whack job’s Gofundme. What she needs to do is see a psychiatrist. She has some serious mental health issues. This level of crazy can’t be ignored. Anyone think she could be related to Guttermuppet? Twinsies!



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17 Comment(s)
  • One confused lady
    June 13, 2017 at 5:26 pm

    This kid David Normandin also put a go fund me for this trash. It is understanding that they are dating.

  • Wabbitt
    June 13, 2017 at 4:37 pm

    Sorry Feisty, no cliff notes here. I zoned out early from the nonsensical ramblings.

  • J rackham
    June 12, 2017 at 6:40 pm

    She is actually one of my exes, and I can say with utmost sincerity I am not surprised to see this.
    As far as I knew she was still in Florida allegedly doing C list porn and some other horrific stuff. To this day she is a benchmark for the worst relationship I’ve ever had.
    Part of me wants to pity her, but then my memory kicks in and reminds me of the karma train I wished for back then.
    So, you know, choo choo

    • Hey J
      June 12, 2017 at 6:59 pm

      Count your blessings my friend, and don’t EVER look back! If you do, you’ll be turned to stone! Glad that you got free and are doing well!

  • ChesterCopperPot
    June 12, 2017 at 12:17 pm

    This is what happens when MCAS no longer requires grammar and spelling. I couldn’t even get through the GoFundMe narrative. Either translate them or stop writing articles on them…my brain is numb.

    • cody
      June 14, 2017 at 10:22 pm

      dunno what you’re on but she’s almost 30 and the MCAS absolutely had grammar and spelling, on top of stanford tests and shit. Her issue is being burnt out on drugs and booze

  • SpermCatapult
    June 12, 2017 at 9:43 am

    With a drug or alcohol conviction she can just about kiss away the possibility of getting any job (even as a CNA) near narcotics. I knew a woman who had a similar issue with substance abuse… to her credit, she did sober up and get her LPN license… but cannot get any job short of wiping shit off patients’ asses because of her priors. Even a decade later, if you were an employer… would you be willing to “take a chance”?

    I really wish these chromosomally-deficient mutants would not color their hair red… gives us natural gingers a bad rap.

    • itsjustme
      June 12, 2017 at 12:53 pm

      I agree, my daughter just got her first nursing job and they have done an extensive background check, including having her fingerprints taken at the state police department. She doesn’t have a chance in hell to get a job working around narcotics.

  • Your name here*
    June 12, 2017 at 9:05 am

    I didn’t even make it halfway through this shitbag’s GFM plea but I had to comment…. we have an admitted drug/alcohol addict going through school and will eventually have access to all the drugs in the world? Yeah that makes sense. I wouldn’t want this person working for me, with me, or on me. It’s only a matter of time before she’s switching out cancer patient’s IV’s with a placebo so she can get high.

  • Red Dindu Nuffin
    June 12, 2017 at 6:32 am

    NO ONE has any idea what these ratchet hood-speak blogs MY mental

    LOVE you Feisty! You blogs me entertained and make me want to stay in the safe confines of my home. Is the “rachet dizeaz” communicable? I’M NOT taking a chance!

  • Big Raymond
    June 12, 2017 at 5:50 am

    Facebook is not your friend, social media is here to hurt you.

    She’s a Ginger.

  • Cunt Wagon
    June 12, 2017 at 5:38 am

    Facebook = home of where loser parents whine about how much they love their kids except never actually do anything to prove they give a fuck. One FB post a day about loving the kid(s) + 4 likes from grama and aunties makes up for not being in the kid(s) life .

  • Alan Warren
    June 12, 2017 at 5:13 am

    …this is a tragedy, pretty low to use this as a way to make money for your blog.

    She obviously doesn’t have her child because she has a drug and alcohol problem, and I doubt any objective third party would question whether that’s the right decision.

    Even mothers with mental illnesses and alcohol and drug issues can love their children though, and feel anguish when they’re separated from them. No one is going to argue that she’s making a good case here to be reunited with her child today. The right reaction to something like this is empathy, though — sadness that this tragedy is happening, and hope that one day she’ll be able to make changes in her life and become the mother we all wish she was for her child.

    Reading about this tragedy made me sad, but frankly the thing that repulsed me the most on this post is that a healthy woman saw this tragedy as an opportunity to make some money by holding this person up to ridicule.

    • June 12, 2017 at 5:22 am

      Hi Alan,

      Your post was really long. Feel blessed that I’m willing to kill time while I’m waiting for my coffee to be done, or I never would have bothered.


    • Miss Universe
      June 12, 2017 at 7:10 am

      Hi Alan,

      I’m curious to know how much real-life experience you have dealing with situations like this, because I have five years’ worth. There are a handful who are sincerely seeking help among the addicts, but the vast majority have a dishonest, prideful, entitled, and rebellious attitude that need shaming and rebuke (if public, all the better–it’s a warning for other people who might interact with them). A lot of people who call for compassion and empathy have good intentions, but most of the time have zero practical experience with them, unknowingly enabling them and feeding their false ideas of adequacy. I recommend that you go to a local church or non-profit and volunteer with them, so you can have a more balanced view on how they can truly be helped.

      I thank you,
      Miss Universe

      • cody
        June 14, 2017 at 10:21 pm

        You are delusional if you think this is helping anyone. It’s low-brow entertainment and it has its place but this is pretty clearly detrimental. The help she needs is rehab and therapy, and you can argue how much she deserves it but the reality is she’ll probably never get it and end up even further gone after some time in prison.

  • cody
    June 12, 2017 at 4:18 am

    It is truly amazing what drugs and booze will do to someone that started off relatively normal. I went to HS with her and wouldn’t have expected the insanity

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