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  • Anyone Recognize This Chunky Brewster Who Stole A Cat Named Caramel In Her Purse From Methuen Adoption Center?

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    The MSPCA-Nevins Farm adoption center in Methuen needs your help identifying this Chunky Brewster, who stole a kitten today:

    It was all a big misunderstanding folks. The cat’s name is Caramel. And Chunky Brewster here clearly cannot resist the urge to pass up anything involving Caramel.

    Seriously though, 200 pounds? Where? On the moon? And why is she dressed like a catholic school girl stripper? I haven’t seen a more identifiable person since Trigglypuff. Surely some turtle rider from the Mingya Valley area has seen this woman holding up the line at the Super Chinese Buffet before.

    And before you go whining about how Turtleboy is being mean about her weight like these people:

    This woman stole a cat and put it in her purse. Fuck. Her. Feelings.

    Believe it or not there are also people defending her actions:

    Newsflash – if you can’t afford $300 to buy a cat then you can’t afford to have a cat. Because it costs a lot more than $300 to keep the cat alive. Either way, no one gives a shit if she fell in love with the cat you simple minded twit. Contrary to popular belief you are not entitled to things that you can’t afford just because you want them.

    So yea, if you know who she is, let us know by emailing [email protected] or messaging the Turtleboy Sports Black Lives Matter Facebook page. And if she has a Facebook page, screenshot everything. Because there’s a 1,000% chance she takes it down within in the next 24 hours.

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    1. gfldgadfly

      Smuggest, most punchable face since ever.

    2. TJB

      I’m taking a wild guess, TB….. I’m going to go out on a limb, with a prediction. LAWRENCE. It’s in LAWRENCE. Let’s hope they rescue this kitty before it’s beef fried rice.

      1. Mad Millennial...I didnt major in gender studies!

        I’d be more worried about General Gau’s Kitten suddenly being back on the menu myself…

    3. Finn

      Her number one defender – Leslie Ortiz also believes you can cure diabetes with oranges & cilantro, treat tumors with cannabis oil and her best life tip yet — if you have cancer, simply “open an apricot seed and eat 10 of the kernels every morning with a glass of orange juice it contains B17 and laetrile which kills cancer cells.”. She’s a regular think-tank.

      Get fucked Leslie,


    4. gfldgadfly

      I thought cat burglars had to be skinny, to squeeze through mail slots and dryer vents and such?

      1. Finn

        That was awesome 🙂 🙂 🙂

    5. Lt Dan

      Peking Garden BYOC these days?

    6. Jon

      Shes a sexy female danny devito

    7. Mama Kin

      She reminds me of that little chubby lady on Poltergeist.

      1. 5HourEnergy'd

        HAHAHA!!! Yes!

    8. Sen. Bernie Sanders

      What a disgusting little troll! Paint that shit orange and you’ve got an oompa loompa.

    9. SVU

      There are cameras every where now a days, you have to be a complete moron to try to get away with this kind of stuff. I hope the kitten is okay. And there is no way that this woman weighs 200 pounds. She is a beast. At least 275-300

    10. 5HourEnergy'd

      “Chunky Brewster!!!” That made me literally LOL. When she gets caught (when, not if, because no way does that load blend into crowds unnoticed. She probably mows people in groups down like bowling pins.), her sentence should be to have her name officially changed to “Chunky Brewster” by court order.

      PS- Did they ever identify that trash bag that left the dog outside of the Northeast Animal Shelter?

    11. […] a pet adoption center in Methuen put out an APB for this Chunky Brewster and her male companion who had stuffed a cat named Caramel into her purse and left with the poor […]

    12. Finn

      I’m getting really aggravated that I haven’t sucked a dick today. Will someone please put a cock in my mouth?

      Get sucked,

      1. Oona

        Trolls can eat a bag of dicks

        1. Grow up

          Trolls have taken over every thread. They are pretending to be a lot of people they are not.

    13. White Nationalist Turtle Rider

      Fat people are worthless, bottom of the barrel sub-human garbage.

    14. President Donald Trump

      This yuuuge Dem supporting 2/10 shithole is covfefe. Sad! Build a wall around her shithouse and I’ll grab the pussy, then LOCK HER UP. When you’re famous they let you do it. We’ll name the puss Stormy because of her dark coloring and maybe next time we can get a puss from Norway and name her Ivanka. Stormy puss can live in the whitehouse and Miller will take care of her when I’m avoiding responsibilities at Mar-a-la-g-o. If Stormy acts up and pisses on Putin’s leg during his next White House visit, we’ll spank her with a Forbes magazine hard on the tushy and she’ll learn that bad little mixed breed kitties are lucky to be in this side of the GREAT WALL! #MAGA

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