All-Star Criminals

Auburn Morons Stab A Guy For Putting A Free Couch In His Truck

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TelegramA man trying to pick up old furniture on the side of Manor Road was slashed in the hand Thursday afternoon by a couple who allegedly were upset that his truck was blocking the road.

Auburn police Detective. Sgt. Scott Mills said the incident was sparked by “road rage.” Steven A. Chioda, 28, and Aubree J. Gignilliat 24, both of 11 Old Farm Road, were arrested and charged with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon.

The stabbing victim told police a man approached him around 2 p.m. near 22 Manor Road as he was picking up old furniture off the sidewalk. Police said Mr. Chioda demanded the man move his truck so he and his girlfriend could drive through. Then, police said, he pulled out a knife.

The victim attempted to fight off Mr. Chioda and knocked him to the ground. During the struggle, the victim was slashed in the hand.

Ms. Gignilliat then got out of the car and, according to police, picked up the knife and threatened to cut the victim if he didn’t stop fighting her boyfriend. The pair then left in a white Toyota Scion and headed toward Worcester.

Around 3 p.m., police put out an alert on scanner broadcasts for police in the area to be on the lookout for the car. The suspects were arrested a short time later off Grafton Street in Worcester.

Screen Shot 2015-05-02 at 12.56.03 PM

Those two geniuses have Bay Path written all over them. How priceless is that face on Aubrey Gignilliat? “What’s going on here? All we did was stab some guy? Was that against the law or something?? I’m so confused!!”

And can I just say how hilarious it is that they got arrested on Grafton Street in Worcester? It’s actually a genius move on his part. Because if you look like this:

Screen Shot 2015-05-02 at 1.19.59 PM

Then there’s no better place to blend in than Grafton Hill. As soon as the APB went out on this guy the first thing Gary Gemme instructed police officers was to check out the Building 19 parking lot. If Get Down Productions has taught me anything, there was a really, really good chance he was going to propose to her outside of the Stop n’ Shop.

Look, I’ve actually been in the same situation these two nudniks were in before. You’re driving along and some guy in front of you is parking his fat truck of you so he can get a free couch. But what was the guy in the truck supposed to do? You simply can’t pass up a free couch if you’re driving a pickup truck. It’s a rule. That’s why you own a pickup truck – so you’ll never be in a situation where you can’t pick up a free couch.

But this is what Manor Road looks like:

Screen Shot 2015-05-02 at 1.04.32 PM

As you can see, it’s pretty much impossible to be in a situation where a vehicle parked on the side of the road while picking up a couch can prevent you from driving. Ummmm, maybe just go around the truck? How bout that moron? Nah fuck it, let’s keep it real and stab this guy instead. That’s how we roll in the mean streets of Auburn.

It’s not like this is a busy street either. There’s basically no reason to be on it unless you live in the neighborhood, which of course these two muff sandwiches do. What do these nudniks do in REAL traffic? How do you get road rage on Manor FREAKING Road in Auburn? If these idiots are stabbing people on this street, I can’t even imagine what would happen if they drove down Cambridge Street. You think the Maranville Park handball team is scared of some grease monkey with a knife? This guy would’ve been been tossed in Dead Hooker Pond within five minutes and his car would’ve been sold for scrap metal.

Oh well, at least I can look at this face and laugh my ass off until the fight starts:

Screen Shot 2015-05-02 at 1.17.04 PM

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15 Comment(s)
  • Steve b.
    May 3, 2015 at 9:32 pm

    The man that was stabbed is my uncle..he did the absolute right thing in this situation. It’s sad how some people react to things these days. The man was doing his damn job and two bums have to take it to another level.

  • Father Loves Beaver
    May 3, 2015 at 8:58 am

    The burning question I have is why would anyone want someone’s *used* couch, especially one that happens to be outside of one’s house?? I keep having thoughts of the Poppie episode of Seinfeld…

    • Vanderbooger
      May 3, 2015 at 10:07 am

      Yeah that is the uncomfortable truth in the matter. Unfortunately our army veteran is going to be sitting on a pee stained couch. Unless it’s for when his mother in law visits.

      • Lincoln K. Boisseau
        May 3, 2015 at 12:14 pm

        For some strange reason the article in the paper never mentioned that the couch was on the trash route that is picked up by a private trash company. What can’t be picked up by the regular truck is picked up by the Bulk truck just so happens Manor road was on the list. It was done on company time and I was on the clock not a wandering nomad looking for a nice couch to sleep on. Hilarious how a story gets the facts so F’d up. So The Army veteran is currently sitting on a couch that was purchased at Rotman’s…..Fantastic!

        • G-love478
          May 3, 2015 at 5:30 pm

          Mr. Boisseau, you sir, are my hero!!!

  • O the humanities
    May 2, 2015 at 5:48 pm

    the turtle will find you if you are an idiot. The turtle is like Allen Funt with a shell.

  • Clean Hippie
    May 2, 2015 at 4:52 pm

    Hoe-lee shit. I worked with this chick at APAC. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer person.

  • Box Cutter Diaries
    May 2, 2015 at 4:38 pm

    We thank you very much for your service.

    I just hope you had smacked him around a little more

  • Lincoln K. Boisseau
    May 2, 2015 at 2:44 pm

    I am the guy that Zero pulled the knife on. The story says I attempted to fight off mr. Chioda. What happened was Chioda came at me with the knife and I promptly threw him to the ground and when I had him down then I removed the knife from his hand which slashed me in the process. Then the Crack head bitch picked up the knife and said she’d stab me if I did not get off her man. The moral of the story is that these 2 Dbags did not know I am an 18 year veteran of the Army with 2 Iraq and 1 Afghanistan deployment. That punk was stunned when I schooled him on the art of combat That’s what happened. Please get this story out

    • Devils Mouthpiece
      May 2, 2015 at 10:25 pm

      I would have paaidd to see you take this loser out. Nice work!

      Thank you for your service to America!

  • Lincoln K. Boisseau
    May 2, 2015 at 2:42 pm

    I am the guy that Zero pulled the knife on. The story says I attempted to fight off mr. Chioda. What happened was Chioda came at me with the knife and I promptly threw him to the ground and when I had him down then I removed the knife from his hand which slashed me in the process. Then the Crack head bitch picked up the knife and said she’d stab me if I did not get off her man. The moral of the story is that these 2 Dbags did not know I am an 18 year veteran of the Army with 2 Iraq and 1 Afghanistan deployment. That punk was stunned when I schooled him on the art of conbat. That’s what happened. Please get this story out

    • Tara
      May 3, 2015 at 9:49 am

      Ugh just what we need- stupid ass skankbags in town. Fkn tools- not bad enough people come from other towns to do stupid shit, but these morons live here.

  • Box Cutter Diaries
    May 2, 2015 at 12:44 pm

    Another violent box cutter related incident

    #BoxCutterLivesMatter

    • Gus Fring
      May 2, 2015 at 1:18 pm

      Hey – that’s my M.O.

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