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What better way to spend Christmas on the Cape than in a jail cell with your Mom?
Boston Herald: A Cape Cod mother and daughter who spent part of Christmas behind bars after a less-than-silent night in Barnstable will be together again Monday when they’re arraigned on assault charges involving a knife and a frying pan, police said. Barnstable police Sgt. Jason Laber said Roxanne Sylvia, 46, was arrested early yesterday morning after officers turned up at her house on Washington Avenue Extension with a warrant to take her daughter into custody for a stabbing Christmas Eve.
“The mother refused to let the officers enter,” Laber said. “She starts fighting with the police officers. An officer was struck with a frying pan inside the house.”
Laber said the officer did not suffer serious injury, but Roxanne Sylvia was charged with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon and resisting arrest.Police obtained the temporary warrant for Leah Sylvia’s arrest after going to the home late Thursday night and finding her mother “uncooperative with the police.”
Leah Sylvia is a suspect in the stabbing of a 46-year-old man, who Laber said turned up at the Cape Mart on Center Street in Hyannis about 9:47 p.m. Thursday with “superficial wounds to his arms and head.”
Cape Mart employee Dorje Gurung said he was waiting on a customer when the bloodied man walked in.
“I don’t know where he came from. He didn’t ask for anything,” Gurung, who’d never seen the man before, told the Herald yesterday. “He told me he’d been stabbed and I had to call the cops.”
You know how I knew that this woman would eventually hit a police officer with a frying pan? Her name is Roxanne. If you’re given the name Roxanne at birth, you’re pretty much guaranteed to lead a life of dooshnozzelry. More than likely you will bear a child, out of wedlock of course, name Leah. And one day Leah will stab some random guy and you will protect her from the cops with a frying pan. Then Leah will take the most doosh-tastic mugshot in Cape Cod history.
This proves once again that Barnstable is the Webster of Cape Cod. Living in Barnstable, or even worse – VACATIONING in Barnstable, completely defeats the purpose of going to the Cape. Especially if you’re anywhere near Hyannis or West Yarmouth. It’s a freaking parking lot, and people have sex in broad daylight behind dumpsters:
I’d rather be in Worcester watching people shoot each other in broad daylight as Mayor Petty tells us our streets are safe.
I dunno about you, but to me the whole point of Cape Cod is supposed to be to get away from it all and relax. That’s why the real cape is everything past Yarmouth. Even places like Chatham are too jam packed for me. Personally, if I’m going to the Cape I’m going to Meghan Trainor territory – Orleans, Eastham, Wellfleet, or Truro. That’s a real vacation.
The Leah and Roxanne Sylvia’s of the world don’t travel past the bend in the arm. Because when I go on vacation, I’m trying to get as far away from this as possible:
If you wanna have hours of fun, check out her Facebook page – you will learn an entirely new dialect of Barnstable English that you never knew existed before. She spits nothing but hot truths all over your eyeballs:
The best way for shorty to ride or die is with a Mom who knows how to use a frying pan.
I just used that same exact hashtag the other day.
They don’t make em like Juicy J any more. That’s for sure.
Ummmm….yea.
My thoughts exactly.
It’s true. I was just saying this the other day to Mrs. Turtleboy.
Her and Baby Gangsta are gonna make such sweet welfare babies some day.
OK then.
She posted this in 2009….when she was 14 years old:
Bang up parenting on Roxanne’s part. Shocking her daughter ended up stabbing some guy.
It’s OK though – she’s a Barnstable hustler:
It’s also comforting to know that your vote carries equal weight to her’s:
Yay Democracy!!!
The bottom line is that clearly Leah Sylvia is destined for success. Soon all of her fantastic friends will be moving down to Barnstable to join her, and the Martha’s Vineyard will be the only place left in Massachusetts where you can go to get away from the Websterification of the Commonwealth.
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19 Comment(s)
Nice, I feel dummer juts reedin dat Thanx for me firts lessin in gehtto-onics IC only brite futoor at a local corrctionil fasilty for this young lass But thanx fo keepin it reel
Hyannis is not on the list. That place is Brocton-on-the-Cape.
Brockton with Kennedys.
Whoever voted anything but Provincetown as the worst place to vacation on the cape is gay
This pair is benefits from what I like to call the Ghetto Time Machine. This 20 year old skank can see 26 years into her future and see exactly what she’ll become and the 46 year old…what’s a skank + 26 years called?…anyway, the 46 year old can look 26 years into her past and see what lead her to where she is.
Sometimes I’m amazed that this crap just keeps perpetuating from generation to generation but then I realize that it’s just common sense that the path of least resistance will win most every time.
Holy shit this girl is 20? I would have bet money she was 33. It’s not so much that I think she looks old, but she looks worn.
Baby Gangsta! Hahahahaha. Turtleboy you are a Funnyman!
All this time I thought they just could not spell ? When did it become in style to spell like a second grade drop out ??
Thank the lord I was born in a generation that it was still except able to be white and act white..Not sure I could survive in the ” I hate being the color I am” world
Publikkk Skkkooling..check
EBT…check
Section 8…check
Tanf…check
3rd grade ghetto talk..check
Heroine dealing boyfriend…check
Democrat voter…check
Publikkk Skkkooling??? Most successful people attended public schools. Please don’t disparage our schools because of some white trash douchebags.
My brother is all of those things, and staunchly Republican.
Tito Ho still a polarized moron with nothing but logical fallacies-Check.
After reading those posts,all I have to say is WTF. Do other people talk like that? I don’t know what the hell she is talking about. What type of job do you get with that type of vocabulary? I’m just dumbfounded. If my son ever brought a girl like that home I’d shoot myself.
I’ll give you a hint – it’s the type of job that involves hanging around the welfare office all day with your rainbow of children.
That might be the whitest girl I’ve ever seen in my life. And she’s dropping N-bombs like she thinks she’s DMX.
The irony being that, if she ever actually saw a black person, she’d probably cross the street.
Though the black guy would be the one more likely to get robbed in this scenario.
Remember the days when women were feminine, classy, demure?
Sigh…
both look like they were rode hard and put away wet
Those two have definitely been ridden harder than a rented mule in the Grand Canyon. A lot of miles there.
Too bad Romney lost. These “ladies” might be living in Canada right now. Then again, they don’t look like the type of person who keeps his/her promises.