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What better way to spend Christmas on the Cape than in a jail cell with your Mom?
Boston Herald: A Cape Cod mother and daughter who spent part of Christmas behind bars after a less-than-silent night in Barnstable will be together again Monday when they’re arraigned on assault charges involving a knife and a frying pan, police said. Barnstable police Sgt. Jason Laber said Roxanne Sylvia, 46, was arrested early yesterday morning after officers turned up at her house on Washington Avenue Extension with a warrant to take her daughter into custody for a stabbing Christmas Eve.
“The mother refused to let the officers enter,” Laber said. “She starts fighting with the police officers. An officer was struck with a frying pan inside the house.”
Laber said the officer did not suffer serious injury, but Roxanne Sylvia was charged with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon and resisting arrest.Police obtained the temporary warrant for Leah Sylvia’s arrest after going to the home late Thursday night and finding her mother “uncooperative with the police.”
Leah Sylvia is a suspect in the stabbing of a 46-year-old man, who Laber said turned up at the Cape Mart on Center Street in Hyannis about 9:47 p.m. Thursday with “superficial wounds to his arms and head.”
Cape Mart employee Dorje Gurung said he was waiting on a customer when the bloodied man walked in.
“I don’t know where he came from. He didn’t ask for anything,” Gurung, who’d never seen the man before, told the Herald yesterday. “He told me he’d been stabbed and I had to call the cops.”
You know how I knew that this woman would eventually hit a police officer with a frying pan? Her name is Roxanne. If you’re given the name Roxanne at birth, you’re pretty much guaranteed to lead a life of dooshnozzelry. More than likely you will bear a child, out of wedlock of course, name Leah. And one day Leah will stab some random guy and you will protect her from the cops with a frying pan. Then Leah will take the most doosh-tastic mugshot in Cape Cod history.
This proves once again that Barnstable is the Webster of Cape Cod. Living in Barnstable, or even worse – VACATIONING in Barnstable, completely defeats the purpose of going to the Cape. Especially if you’re anywhere near Hyannis or West Yarmouth. It’s a freaking parking lot, and people have sex in broad daylight behind dumpsters:
I’d rather be in Worcester watching people shoot each other in broad daylight as Mayor Petty tells us our streets are safe.
I dunno about you, but to me the whole point of Cape Cod is supposed to be to get away from it all and relax. That’s why the real cape is everything past Yarmouth. Even places like Chatham are too jam packed for me. Personally, if I’m going to the Cape I’m going to Meghan Trainor territory – Orleans, Eastham, Wellfleet, or Truro. That’s a real vacation.
The Leah and Roxanne Sylvia’s of the world don’t travel past the bend in the arm. Because when I go on vacation, I’m trying to get as far away from this as possible:
If you wanna have hours of fun, check out her Facebook page – you will learn an entirely new dialect of Barnstable English that you never knew existed before. She spits nothing but hot truths all over your eyeballs:
The best way for shorty to ride or die is with a Mom who knows how to use a frying pan.
I just used that same exact hashtag the other day.
They don’t make em like Juicy J any more. That’s for sure.
My thoughts exactly.
It’s true. I was just saying this the other day to Mrs. Turtleboy.
Her and Baby Gangsta are gonna make such sweet welfare babies some day.
She posted this in 2009….when she was 14 years old:
Bang up parenting on Roxanne’s part. Shocking her daughter ended up stabbing some guy.
It’s OK though – she’s a Barnstable hustler:
It’s also comforting to know that your vote carries equal weight to her’s:
The bottom line is that clearly Leah Sylvia is destined for success. Soon all of her fantastic friends will be moving down to Barnstable to join her, and the Martha’s Vineyard will be the only place left in Massachusetts where you can go to get away from the Websterification of the Commonwealth.
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