Just a couple of months ago, NSTB wrote this blog about a bull moose from Beverly who smashed a window in at the Beverly Police department in a poorly thought out attempt to break out her gastroglob fat slob boyfriend just hours after he was arrested for beating her up.

Eh, still a better love story than Twilight? Considering the raw sex appeal that just oozes out of the waistbands of these two sex pots, they of course couldn’t let a little thing like felony assault and wanton property destruction get in the way of their steamy romance. After a brief stint in jail:

They picked right back off and continued on their path of self-destruction and menace to society, seemingly completely unphased by their appearance on Turtleboy.

I’m personally extremely disappointed in this well read, cultured  and discerning critics assessment of our blog. “A second-rate publication”? “Suck my fucking dick no homo shit n***gz is trash?” With that many hundred emojis? Wow, Anthony. Your poor review sure stings.

Oh well, can’t please everyone. This sophisticated and debonair bucket of sex appeal clearly has high class taste we can’t compete with.

Unfortunately, here we are in another one of our second-rate publications, though, guys, because Bonnie and Wide have struck again:

Salem News:

“Police and prosecutors say that the four were staying in an apartment at 327 Rantoul St., where a birthday party took place on March 1. 

During the party, Alicia Morasse, 24, and Crystal Culbreth, 43, allegedly told a female guest that they were engaging in sex for money, advertising their services online, and they invited the woman to join them. 

The woman told police she declined, a prosecutor said. 

Meanwhile, two men in the apartment, identified as Kenel Cadet, 22, and John Connelly, 22, escorted the woman’s boyfriend outside and told him to leave, prosecutor Michael Varone told the judge. 

The woman told police she drank something that she believes was spiked with some sort of substance, then woke up naked, Varone told the judge. She said over the next three days she was drugged and forced to engage in sexual activity with men for cash, which, she said, was taken by someone in the apartment, said the prosecutor.

She was able to leave only after telling the residents that she had to be in court, the prosecutor said. She subsequently went to Salem Hospital.”

Of course, their lawyers are fervently denying the charges…

” “What’s the credibility of this story? I’d say zero,” argued Culbreth’s lawyer, John Morris, who questioned why her boyfriend would have just left her there and not called to check on her.

Morris also told the judge that the sealed police report contains no information as to what sort of substance might have been found in the woman’s system, nor does it describe any injuries she may have suffered.”

But there is no way anyone with reasonable enough intelligence could ever truly believe anyone hanging around with this lot is going home to a loving, stable functioning relationship here. That defies logic, look at the players here. Just look at them.

Obviously the boyfriend didn’t give a fuck, or is Ned fucking Flanders level oblivious to obvious red flags in character.

Here’s a thought: Anyone choosing to have sex within 6 feet of this side-show has to be heavily drugged, voluntarily or otherwise. I imagine the entire ordeal would be a tear and sweat soaked horror show of suffocation and shame. They really need to find the monsters who willingly paid for this, they aren’t fit for the outside.

Alicia’s mother seems fairly convinced, and armed with some evidence.

Not to mention the awkward way she pretty much announced their crimes on the internet weeks ago….

Whoops. I’m not going to speculate too much here, but that doesn’t look good.