All-Star Criminals

Beverly’s Own Bonnie And Wide Make Their Return To Turtleboy Just Months After Smashing Beverly PD Window, This Time For Allegedly Human Trafficking

Just a couple of months ago, NSTB wrote this blog about a bull moose from Beverly who smashed a window in at the Beverly Police department in a poorly thought out attempt to break out her gastroglob fat slob boyfriend just hours after he was arrested for beating her up.

Eh, still a better love story than Twilight? Considering the raw sex appeal that just oozes out of the waistbands of these two sex pots, they of course couldn’t let a little thing like felony assault and wanton property destruction get in the way of their steamy romance. After a brief stint in jail:


They picked right back off and continued on their path of self-destruction and menace to society, seemingly completely unphased by their appearance on Turtleboy.


I’m personally extremely disappointed in this well read, cultured  and discerning critics assessment of our blog. “A second-rate publication”? “Suck my fucking dick no homo shit n***gz is trash?” With that many hundred emojis? Wow, Anthony. Your poor review sure stings.


Oh well, can’t please everyone. This sophisticated and debonair bucket of sex appeal clearly has high class taste we can’t compete with.

Unfortunately, here we are in another one of our second-rate publications, though, guys, because Bonnie and Wide have struck again:

Salem News:

Police and prosecutors say that the four were staying in an apartment at 327 Rantoul St., where a birthday party took place on March 1. 

During the party, Alicia Morasse, 24, and Crystal Culbreth, 43, allegedly told a female guest that they were engaging in sex for money, advertising their services online, and they invited the woman to join them. 

The woman told police she declined, a prosecutor said. 

Meanwhile, two men in the apartment, identified as Kenel Cadet, 22, and John Connelly, 22, escorted the woman’s boyfriend outside and told him to leave, prosecutor Michael Varone told the judge. 

The woman told police she drank something that she believes was spiked with some sort of substance, then woke up naked, Varone told the judge. She said over the next three days she was drugged and forced to engage in sexual activity with men for cash, which, she said, was taken by someone in the apartment, said the prosecutor.

She was able to leave only after telling the residents that she had to be in court, the prosecutor said. She subsequently went to Salem Hospital.”


Of course, their lawyers are fervently denying the charges…

“What’s the credibility of this story? I’d say zero,” argued Culbreth’s lawyer, John Morris, who questioned why her boyfriend would have just left her there and not called to check on her.

Morris also told the judge that the sealed police report contains no information as to what sort of substance might have been found in the woman’s system, nor does it describe any injuries she may have suffered.”


But there is no way anyone with reasonable enough intelligence could ever truly believe anyone hanging around with this lot is going home to a loving, stable functioning relationship here. That defies logic, look at the players here. Just look at them.

Obviously the boyfriend didn’t give a fuck, or is Ned fucking Flanders level oblivious to obvious red flags in character.

Here’s a thought: Anyone choosing to have sex within 6 feet of this side-show has to be heavily drugged, voluntarily or otherwise. I imagine the entire ordeal would be a tear and sweat soaked horror show of suffocation and shame. They really need to find the monsters who willingly paid for this, they aren’t fit for the outside.

Alicia’s mother seems fairly convinced, and armed with some evidence.

Not to mention the awkward way she pretty much announced their crimes on the internet weeks ago….

Whoops. I’m not going to speculate too much here, but that doesn’t look good.


31 Comment(s)
  • just STOP
    March 21, 2019 at 6:24 pm

    Another Hallmark greeting card in the making: “I want to die slow with you / the bigger the bill / the harder we ball.”

    • Build the fkn wall
      March 26, 2019 at 10:34 am

      His baby picture is all over the internet,remember that fat kid chain smoking butts…….

  • Just Spotted
    March 21, 2019 at 8:02 am

    I think I saw them at a Target recently, eyeing the women who shop there.
    In any case, Trust Noone!

  • Yep.
    March 21, 2019 at 1:37 am

    Ya, I’d give either one of the trollops a quick poke. Dirty back road is the route to take with those two.

    That Anthony kid with the flat brim bullshit going on?
    I can see a chalk outline in his not too distant future. He’s going to talk some shit and throw a hard look at some banger that’s half fucked up and get his ass popped, then no more posing in front of expensive shitboxes that he’ll never own, throwing some generic gang sign bullshit to look hard.

  • Veggie Cowgirl
    March 20, 2019 at 12:00 pm

    I just puked a little

  • His Uncke
    March 20, 2019 at 11:01 am

    Did his mother fuck a buffalo? What a fat greasy uneducated smelly piece of shit

    • Moobs
      March 20, 2019 at 2:48 pm

      He has bigger BOOBS than Dolly Parton!

  • Kim Un Jong
    March 20, 2019 at 9:18 am

    I didn’t know beverly was such a shithole but after seeing this bunch I’m convinced it needs firebombing

  • randiguy2006
    Randall Guy
    March 20, 2019 at 9:07 am

    Actually “A second-rate publication” is pretty high praise for this place.

    • ElJefe72
      March 20, 2019 at 1:39 pm

      I guess that would make you a third rate troll.

    • Kim Wescott
      March 20, 2019 at 5:12 pm

      And yet you are keep coming back, reading and commenting EVERY SINGLE DAY!

      You try to insult TB constantly, yet spend hours every day reading it. You are obsessed with The Turtle!

      I’m guessing you are butt hurt because TB featured some of your own ratchet behavior at some point. Or that of some ratchet you ‘love.’

      All you are accomplishing is making us love TB even more, and laugh at you.

      • Po' Francy
        March 21, 2019 at 8:07 am

        i reckon it’s ‘Ratchet Love,’ aka an undiagnosed STD.

    • Randall is a groupie
      March 21, 2019 at 11:28 am

      Randall Guy … If you hate this blog so much you are doing a HORRIBLE job of showing it considering you not only read EVERY SINGLE ONE but ypu comment dumb shit on every single one!!! We see you, and you sir are a groupie. You’ll never be one of us though. You are like the stinky kid in class who only gets invited to bday parties because your mom complained and now everyone has to get an invite. See you on the next blog fan boy!!

  • Deflateddoritodinks
    March 20, 2019 at 7:59 am

    I trust Noone. He’s a great guy.

  • Looser / Shim
    March 20, 2019 at 7:53 am

    Anthony’s goatee has seen more cocks than the urinals at Fen Way.

    • Y
      March 20, 2019 at 11:07 am

      more dickends than weekends.

  • JimmyBooms
    March 20, 2019 at 7:49 am

    The state will be paying for their diabetes meds and HIV meds soon. Their parents are prolly sweethearts, church going folk I’m thinking!

  • Big Wick
    March 20, 2019 at 7:37 am

    Good Gawd, names that work: Kenel “Fly” “Space” Cadet, Anthony Woodworthless, Alicia More Ass, and Crystal CUL Meth. What an oink farm.

    • Conan the Grammarian
      March 20, 2019 at 9:36 am

      Also their splendiferously-structured social media sentagraphs. Our education system at work!

  • Francs Sidebottom's Alter Ego
    March 20, 2019 at 7:11 am

    Cull them from society. Mass graves. Trains. Sinking ships. However it must be accomplished. Think of how much better off society would be.

  • Sick of these Ratchet Fucks
    March 20, 2019 at 7:04 am

    Pigs, disgusting fucking pigs. They live in filth, they breed filth, they act worse than jungle savages. Pieces of shit is too kind a word for them. Hopefully they get locked up for this one, At least they will lose the bennies that we pay for, and they will have to take showers on a schedule. This is the biggest problem in Mass, these people have no one to check on them, and they collect our money and are allowed by the courts to run free on the streets like Wild Boars. Someday we might be lucky enough to gett a Govenor who reforms the entire system, and judges who actually lock these pigs up. Until that day, we get this shit…..

  • Build More Prisons
    March 20, 2019 at 6:51 am

    These are second rate good rats. I guarantee not one of them has a fucking job and are nothing but a drain on society. Absolute waste of the human genome. I’d rather pay to lock up all these animals than pay for their section 8 dump and EBT card. It would be cheaper in the long run and the country would be a he’ll of a lot better off. Fucking scum, everyone one of them.

    • Barf
      March 20, 2019 at 11:38 am

      Incarceration is too expensive! I say we force them to pay their way sumo wrestling instead! Winner gets a whole chicken!

    • The Ghost of Peppi Marchello
      March 20, 2019 at 12:19 pm

      I think you meant “hood rats.” Please don’t dis us. Keep it “Tasty.”

  • whatevuh
    March 20, 2019 at 6:47 am

    just more shit-stains on the underwear of society, total waste of oxygen

  • Whitey
    March 20, 2019 at 6:44 am

    Fat, disgusting, drains on society. Ship them to Venezuela where they can starve for a while until they’re normal sized.

  • dowen0895
    Dick Scratcher
    March 20, 2019 at 6:28 am

    Crystal Culbreth.

    Officially the most ratchet name in human history.
    This will never be beaten. FFS she’s almost named after her drug of choice.

  • Richard nixon
    March 20, 2019 at 6:08 am

    Derek eagles is a fucking bitch ass faggot !!! Suck a fucking dick and die facts uour a keyboard thug who would t last ten minutes in the streets you fat pussy ,

  • Francis Sidebottom
    March 19, 2019 at 11:04 pm

    Turtle turd Anthony woodworth said you are a second rate publication, which is a compliment as we know 2nd rate is well above your skill set and blogs are not publications but just worthless postings that ask got a 10 dollar a month donations

    • Francis's Fat Ass Momma
      March 20, 2019 at 7:00 am

      You better not be holding out you whiny little bitch, now get back out on the corner. I have bills to pay.

    • Karma Bus
      Unofficial BrockVegas TG
      March 20, 2019 at 10:28 am

      And yet you are here daily in every comment section.

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