All-Star Criminals

BLT-123 Raises $900 With GoFundMe To Raise Money To File For A Harassment Order After Being Featured On Turtleboy For Starting So Many GoFundMe’s


People handle being featured on Turtleboy very differently. Some people admit they were wrong, apologize, and sometimes get the blogs taken down as a sign of good faith. Some shut down their social media accounts, some threaten deformation lawsuits, and others double down on their ratchetness. But a BLT-123 who was featured on Turtleboy two weeks ago might’ve figured out a way to turn being Turtleboy famous into cash-money.

As you can see, Ari Rivera has made nearly $1,000 in three days off of this GFM. Let’s see how…..

No, you’re a hispanic dude who hasn’t given up the misplaced dream that you’re a “rapper.” You weren’t “under attack,” you were rightfully called out for using GFM to pay your bills instead of getting a job. But thanks for clarifying that I’m the guy on the left. Wouldn’t want anyone to mistake me for my good friend Lyin Ted.

Also, no one “slandered, doxxed, or harmed you.” We pointed out the truth – that you routinely abuse GoFundMe’s to avoid getting a job and blame your life failures (of which there are many) on the fact that you’re a Puerto Rican BLT-123. In reality you’re really just a dude, and since no one feels bad for dudes you call yourself transgender so you can pretend to be oppressed. It’s bonkers.

Ari denies that he once tried to work for me:

Except the receipts don’t lie, and I never responded because obviously I would never listen to anything an unemployed homeless bum had to say about anything.

He says that he’s being targeted by his own old tweets.

Ya got that? It’s harassment when you talk about tweets on a public account. He also says we’re trying to hack his social media and email, made up a lie that he’s getting threats, and says that he was “illegally” evicted as a result of his BLT-123 lifestyle, because being a victim is literally the only thing people like this know how to do.

He now says that he’s raising money for a harassment order, even though it costs nothing to go to the courthouse and file for one.

He did what these people always do – whined about trans people of color being killed at record rates. An easily disprovable lie.

And unlike Ari, people donate to us because they get something in return – free content. They get news and entertainment they can’t get anywhere else. Ari provides absolutely nothing when you donate to him, and he’ll have another fundraiser up in a month with another list of excuses to go along with it.

Also, you know you’re desperate when you have to go to the cesspool that is our comments section in order to victimize yourself further.

Oh, and according to Ari his message offering to work for me was all part of an elaborate undercover scheme, and he has the screenshots to prove it.

  1. I anxiously await the mainstream media contacting you for those non-existent screenshots.
  2. I have no idea who Melissa is, but a real woman sent me links to your public social media accounts and GoFundMe’s, which was all I needed to call you out on your bullshit.

“Please retweet.”

No retweets yet.

Anyway, the most remarkable part about this is that Ari has turned being Turtleboy famous into a business. The Turtleboy-Industrial complex has provided more jobs to ratchets than the government could ever dream of. The fact that this idiot was able to basically con people out of $900 will certainly inspire more ratchets to follow suit in the future.

P.S. Ari, I’m sure you’re reading this, and I would like to formally invite you to call into the live show to have a civilized discussion about this. I have a feeling you won’t, since your primary goal seems to be to victimize yourself and then profit off of it. But maybe you can prove me wrong.


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37 Comment(s)
  • Dr. John
    January 23, 2020 at 9:46 am

    ” The cesspool that is our comments section “. Don’t shit where you eat Einstein….

  • I See Dumb People
    I See Dumb People..
    January 23, 2020 at 6:21 am

    What is up with these perpetual victims always claiming to be survivors??… News Flash you have to overcome being a victim to become a survivor, not constantly be a victim. Dumbass

  • Judge dread
    January 23, 2020 at 3:08 am

    BUT NO ONE CARES. No one gives a fuck. Hey people don’t agree with your lifestyle choices. That’s the way the world works and it doesn’t revolve around you. My dad told me when I was like 10 or something when I was being punished I said “that’s not fair“, he responded “life isn’t fair”. Words still resonate to this day because it’s true!

    Ari no one ever told you that. “People wrote bad things about me on the internet” guess what? TBS is a news blog. Wait a few days, lay low, and it will blow over and no one will remember who the fuck you are.

    But you want attention and you start shit, so uncle is going to finish it.

  • Silencio Dogood
    January 23, 2020 at 1:16 am

    apparently white trans are evil to colorful trans like Ari, imagine that. what a horrid little diaper worm, it has the face it deserves.

  • only straight guy in Northampton
    January 22, 2020 at 11:20 pm

    Another waste of air..

  • Natasha
    January 22, 2020 at 10:03 pm

    Love how he refers to himself as a “survivor,” fuck off

  • (((my fellow Puerto Ricans)))
    January 22, 2020 at 9:39 pm

    Ari is a fucking jew!

  • Finn
    January 22, 2020 at 8:21 pm

    I would. (S)he’s cute
    (I hope I) Get Fucked

    • Real_Finn
      January 22, 2020 at 9:33 pm

      You’re doing a terrible job impersonating me. WRONG TEAM! [giggles]

      Eat dick.

      Get Fucked,

  • BLT great with Swiss Cheese
    January 22, 2020 at 7:43 pm

    Ari, way to keep your irrelevant self out front! But, you’ve also probably pissed off a lot of hard working people in the process. You need to get an eye tattoo on the back of your head. I have a feeling your gonna need to watch your back.

  • randiguy2006
    January 22, 2020 at 7:21 pm

    You’re just jeaous she gets more money begging than you do begging.

  • Harvey Milk
    January 22, 2020 at 7:20 pm

    I would love to suck her peenie.

  • Jeff J
    Grifting Made Easy
    January 22, 2020 at 6:29 pm

    You kind of have to hand it to this piece of shit. He’s DEFINITELY not a victim. What it is is a hustler. Getting money ANYWAY it can. ALWAYS the perpetual victim but it hasn’t had a job in how long?? And it continually drums up enough sympathy to get silly fucktards to give it money. Not a great business plan but it seems to be working for now. Personally, I’d rather see it eat a gun……just saying.

  • Spic Tormentor
    January 22, 2020 at 5:57 pm

    Congrats to everyone who made it on the screen shots of the comments.

    • True Reality Speaks
      Finn's a Dim Wit, Too
      January 22, 2020 at 8:11 pm

      AK refers to his own comment section as a “sewer”.

      You and WWW were the first examples that came to mind.

      And you’re proud of it. Lolz

      • Spic Tormentor
        January 22, 2020 at 8:18 pm

        Anytime I can offend a goya destroya like yourself I chalk it up as a win.

        On behalf of Finn,

        Get fucked

    • Crystal Laviolette
      Mr. Tormentor’s Most Secret Admirer
      January 22, 2020 at 11:37 pm

      Spic Tormentor,

      I knew you would be included in that screen shot! Lolz, wouldn’t expect anything less from a he/she Ratchet. Congrats!!

  • Judge dread
    January 22, 2020 at 5:38 pm

    I’m pissed she only showed half my post. The judge wanted to roll back treatment to 1962.

    The other half

    Lobotomy and castration

    • Spic Tormentor
      January 22, 2020 at 6:08 pm

      He didn’t include the castration part because that’s what he’s going to raise money for next.

    • True Reality Speaks
      January 22, 2020 at 7:57 pm

      You don’t need to lose your balls to stop being a man.

      Ask me how I know.

      • Real_Finn
        January 22, 2020 at 9:35 pm

        Fake Finn,

        You’re so lost. Who said I ever had balls?

        Suck a dick.

        Get Fucked,

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    January 22, 2020 at 5:34 pm

    We’ve lost hundreds of transgenders last year to homophobes, the majority of which were Trans women of color! The Turtleboy needs to BACK OFF! Ari is not only gorgeous, ze is raising money for the Trans community.

  • Catatafish
    January 22, 2020 at 5:25 pm

    Human Habitrail

    • The Sparrow Prince
      January 22, 2020 at 5:46 pm

      Run for the small intestine Lemmiwinks!

  • Fuck Barstool
    January 22, 2020 at 5:18 pm

    LOL fuck Barstool. Enjoy prison with your butt buddies Portnoy

  • Mmmmmm Bacon
    January 22, 2020 at 5:16 pm

    BLT’s. The Official Food of TBS.

  • Deval Patricks Scrotum
    January 22, 2020 at 5:11 pm

    I am willing to donate a roll of duct tape.

  • Gacy's Ghost
    January 22, 2020 at 4:58 pm


  • Kuill
    January 22, 2020 at 4:52 pm

    Ari. You’re still a male , regardless of all the idiots entertaining your gender dysphoria, regardless of your make-up and female clothes.

    I have spoken.

  • Liz Warren's Rotting Clam
    January 22, 2020 at 4:48 pm

    Go fund me is the ratchet lottery and anyone who donates to these ratchets is a moron.

  • Ratchetsaurous Rex
    January 22, 2020 at 4:46 pm

    HE offends me being a ratchet. How dare HE try to one up my ratchetry. Silly faggot.

  • Hugh Mungous
    January 22, 2020 at 4:44 pm

    I will gladly fund your lopadictofamy, the sooner it’s done the more likely you will just kill yourself. The statistics on mentally ill people who get their bodies maimed and commit suicide is sad. Not in your case though,no one will miss you .

  • Fact
    January 22, 2020 at 4:33 pm

    “My truth” is a phrase used by liars.

    • Judge dread
      January 22, 2020 at 5:43 pm

      My truth basically is ratchet speak for I’m so fucked up and completely detached from reality that I can’t believe in reality, only my delusions. It’s my truth; this is a microcosm of a larger leftist revisionist history initiative.

      • Ratchetsaurous Rex
        January 22, 2020 at 5:49 pm

        Have I expressed just how much I adore you? Cause I do. Judge Dread for Prez.

        • JJ@AOL.COM
          January 23, 2020 at 11:24 am

          That’s cute Rex. You too need your own super secret turtle rider handshake!

          • JJ@AOL.COM
            January 23, 2020 at 11:26 am

            You two☆, you two & #MeToo

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