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JUSTICE FOR KEYTAR BEAR!
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This is Keytar Bear:
Keytar bear is the friggin’ man (cue the SJW’s rioting because I assumed the musical teddy’s gender) and he’s been setting up shop around Boston for years playing music for strangers. Everyone loves Keytar Bear.
Except these guys.
The douchebags pictured below are why we can’t have nice things and reason #3874763 why Massholes hate people from New Hampshire.
That picture was taken just before Boston’s lovable keytar playing teddy was assaulted on Saturday afternoon.
Boston was buzzing over the weekend when three slobbertooth cow-tippers stumbled down State Street, jammed out with Keytar Bear for a bit and then jumped him, broke his amp and stole his cash. Supposedly a few onlookers tried to intervene but backed off when the dudes started yelling and throwing racist profanities at them, too.
Look, I know meanies can say awful things and hurt your itty-bitty, precious baby feels but come on! Three idiots jumped a guy in a teddy suit and nobody stepped up? Not one? I’m honestly pretty disappointed.
Yep. Even more disappointing is that this isn’t even the first time he’s been pounded. Yesterday’s debacle actually makes incident #4 where Keytar has been roughed up. One incident was in April of 2014 when a guy leaned in to take a selfie with the bear and then suckerpunched him in the face. That same year in October he was assaulted by a 2male/1female combo who slashed his teddy face, stole his phone and broke his equipment.
And what did Keytar Bear do? He took it like the effing champ that he is.
Ironically, a Go Fund Me was set up on Friday in an effort to get Keytar Bear a new speaker and is now being shared like crazy by people looking to donate $$ to replace his broken amp.
As for the 3 teenagers that took off? Those yankturds were caught after they climbed some scaffolding and tried to hide. One of them wasn’t even smart enough to ditch their mommy’s bottle of Caldwells before getting arrested.
Listen, we all know that because they’re teenagers and the police can’t publicly name them they think they can hide their identities.
Not gonna happen. We’re Turtleboy. We always find out. It’s what we do.