Breaking News: Facebook Has Suspended All Of Our Facebook Pages, But You Can Still See Our Posts If You Follow These Directions

Breaking News: Facebook Has Suspended All Of Our Facebook Pages, But You Can Still See Our Posts If You Follow These Directions

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Breaking News: Turtleboy Sports Facebook page was basically suspended without any explanation until June 1 at 9:45 tonight:

We’ve been suspended for 30 days three separate times after trolls maliciously reported our page for pornography. Because no one works at Facebook and no one reviews these reports, they eventually just suspend your page. So basically trolls with no life can mass report any page they want:






They also suspended us for 30 days because the Turtleboy statue promotes sexual violence:

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This post was also removed for sexual violence:

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Hillary trolls did the same thing to shut down Bernie Sanders page a couple times.

We do have our own lawyer just for situations like this. He’s real and he’s good at his job. There is no phone number or email to contact Facebook, so the only way to reach them is to lawyer up. In October he got us a conference call with a Facebook lawyer. This chick had no idea what she was talking about and tried giving us lip service. She claimed trolls couldn’t do what was being alleged, so clearly she was talking out of her ass. Our lawyer threatened to sue and she shut her cock holster and tried to make it right by promising to fix any suspension we received in the future.

Well, now it’s time to cash in. This is different though. The page is not suspended. It just doesn’t appear in your news feed anymore, so you won’t know when people are commenting on a post or when we post a new blog. However, you can switch that. Right next to the like button is the follow button. Click on that. The click on “see first,” instead of the standard “default.”

And make sure the notifications are on. This means Turtleboy Sports will always come up at the top of your Facebook feed. You’ll never miss a hot take.

Anyway, we don’t know why this happened, but there has been some suspicious shit going on lately. Clarence Woods Emerson has admin access to the page. He gets about 4-5 notices a day like this, indicating that he’s sending out spam:

Then Facebook gives you the chance to review the most recent pages you followed:

As you can see, we mostly follow cop pages because that’s where the fun stuff happens. But anyone can do this to anyone else’s account by reporting their account for spam. If you do it enough then the Facebook robots (they don’t employ human beings) pick up that something is wrong with your page. They assume you’ve been hacked and they give you a suspension like we got. There’s an appeal button, but it’s really just for show because there’s a 0.0% chance a human being actually reads your appeal.

We believe this is a coordinated attack by professionals. This is way above Kevin Lynch’s paygrade. We believe this because 15 minutes after the Turtleboy Sports Facebook page was suspended the Lost Boys of Turtle page (which has over 21,000 followers) was also suspended for a week:

We tried to appeal it but got this:

Which is weird because we never appealed a suspension we never received. Obviously the people targeting us saw that our page was suspended, then they realized that they forgot to get our backup page, and they attacked that too.

So we did an impromptu Turtleboy Live show to tell people to follow our backup to the backup page – Turtleboy Smiles and Sunshine. We posted to it, and things were fine for our 3,000 followers there. Then this happened:

Yup. It’s been permanently unpublished. No explanation. No recourse. Nothing.

Facebook is a fucking joke. But they’re a joke that we need because 80% of our daily traffic comes through Facebook. I couldn’t believe the amount of people who messaged us and said, “how do we get to your site without going through Facebook?” Ummmmm….you open up the Internet and type turtleboysports.com. It’s amazing how dependent people have become on Facebook. It’s an unregulated monopoly that donates to the right politicians and can get away with having no employees, cutting corners, and paying their executives multi-million dollar bonuses.

The good news is that the Live Show still works. We did a show tonight to test it out. The notifications come up. So keep spreading the word about how people can actively follow our page while we figure shit out with the lawyers:




We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.

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26 Comment(s)
  • Facebook Sucks
    May 27, 2017 at 12:38 pm

    No facebook for me. Do you know how many people I know have affairs that started on facebook? Divorces too. Who needs all that trouble?

  • May 27, 2017 at 10:05 am

    Facebook is shit just like turtle boy.

  • TurtleRider
    May 26, 2017 at 11:03 pm

    Weakest people don’t take well to public shaming.

  • EM
    May 26, 2017 at 5:40 pm

    Think there may be a virus on this site.

  • Buddy UE
    May 26, 2017 at 4:12 pm

    Its funny how you guys all talk shit about other people with no proof and completely slander
    a good guy who is doing good in the community without knowing the whole story. When someone else does the same exact thing back you cowardly tuck into your shell and cry like baby turtles. Take the posts down and apologize. Now your story on how the pages got shut down are completely different from the original. Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to compare the original from the new story. We can dissect it for you? So we will do a compare and contrast story on your story. Maybe these sponsors can find a better place to do their advertising? You guys can dish it out, but cant take it! Correct? I know just about all these business’s on your page so unless you take those lies off the internet I can have a little chat with them. Oh you can use this in your next story. You guys are so in the wrong and everyone knows it.

    • Buddy UE
      May 26, 2017 at 4:18 pm

      Thats funny “Marias Jewelry” Thats my ex girlfriends aunt and we are still really good friends. Right Stephanie! Right near the fire station.

  • Whitney Gann
    May 26, 2017 at 3:12 pm

    You have run afoul of the thought police. Well done

  • itsjustme
    May 26, 2017 at 1:32 pm

    I think you should just get rid of fb altogether, the only time I go there is to read the comments sometimes after I read the articles on your website. If you do that would you look into getting a better comment section on your website? Disqus has a much better comment program. Many times I can’t even leave a comment because it’s this program is so slow.

  • Barry
    May 26, 2017 at 11:18 am

    Zuckerburg is marginalizing the underclass as quickly as possible. His goal is to render them completely useless by instituting universal income which of course gives the provider total control of every aspect of the recipients lives. What we are seeing here isn’t just a flaw in the FB algorithm it’s a deliberate attempt to suppress dissent. He basically said as much in the speech that he made yesterday.

  • Hate social media
    May 26, 2017 at 10:15 am

    Screw Facebook. Never had it, never will. I just go to the T.B.S. website and read it there, everyday.

  • True Reality Speaks
    True Reality Speaks
    May 26, 2017 at 7:44 am

    Does anyone read the news anymore?

    Fakebook has enacted new policies where instead of shutting down “fake news” pages or site links (ie – blatant censorship), they are purposely deleting them from your feeds. Putin would be proud. This is what Fakebook does for the Chinese government censors.

    Just another example of the anti-free speech mainstream media, choosing their own left wing propaganda and fake news instead of being the source of objective reporting and unbiased journalism. They really are against freedom.

    Figure out another way to get clicks. Being on Facebook just feeds the beast that wants us as dumb and misinformed as the liberal lemmings.

    • MermaidsloveTurtles
      May 26, 2017 at 11:16 am

      It’s FEDBOOK! Zuckerfuck sold fakebook to the elite to censor and manipulate us with fake news, and they can only really manipulate us by suspending the REAL news! TBS must be reporting on some very real sensitive topics that the Feds aka elite OWNED authorities want to keep on the secret…. Someone needs to create a new social platform that can’t be bought off or should I say THREATENED? The latter seems more plausible because of the simple fact that mark zuckerburg along with Steve jobs completely REFUSED to b bought out by the Feds and elite or eons before a.) Steve jobs DIED, and b.) mark zuckerburg had a baby and then all of a sudden became a 1%!!!!!!!!! Common sense that he got bought off and bullied into taking the money from the elite! Wake up snails, before you are tuned into phyto-plankton! Turtles keep on exposing the TRUTH because that’s the only thing that gets u suspended and blocked on Facebook! How else could they allow all those in the media that’s not only subject us to filth but create it and stick it in our faces to keep on posting their gross and lewd images for the masses? It’s constantly on all media, hate, violence, sex, and drugs…… then they wonder why people are going nuts and acting out….. Fr. Would love for you turtles to investigate the nuke towers all over Massachusetts and seabrook nh as theirs literally NO EVACUATION PLAN for them…….. concluding they plan for us citizens who live within the 20 mile radius to all perish and that’s a loss they’re willing to deal with….smh

    • Buddy UE
      May 26, 2017 at 4:16 pm

      “Fake News” thank you I totally agree with you.

  • fiestysucksatlife
    May 26, 2017 at 6:58 am

    fucking sweet, I hope it get bann this garbage indefinetely. Blame the cumdumpta smutfaced heartless wannabe troll bi***.

      May 26, 2017 at 7:25 am

      You can’t even comment in English. Do you realize we are all laughing at you everything you talk?

  • Beige Caulk
    May 26, 2017 at 6:52 am

    If you’re not getting banned or unfollowed, you’re not using Facebook or any other social medium to its full entertainment value. Congrats

  • Turd Burglestein
    May 26, 2017 at 6:12 am

    I woke up to a 3 day suspension for posting that picture of justin wedgeworth’s face I photoshopped getting turtle fucked. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s behind some of this shit.

    • Thomas Derosier
      Turtle rider
      May 26, 2017 at 7:49 am

      Yup.. you got bingo!

  • Independent Thinker
    May 26, 2017 at 5:25 am

    If everyone stops using facebook, their stock will drop faster than things did at the end of the DOT COM bubble, and they will go out of business because they offer no product. The user is in complete control here, but they continue to let facebook run the show.

    • Buddy UE
      May 26, 2017 at 4:20 pm

      My buddy at facebook maybe can help you.

  • Margaret Melican
    May 26, 2017 at 3:43 am

    I’m still on a 30 day suspension from Face Book for a copy and paste of the Springfield Police Log. No comment, just copy and paste. Of a public record!

  • fordsnharleys
    May 26, 2017 at 3:16 am

    You should add something about email notifications. Sometimes I scroll emails to get your headlines. As much as Facebook uses algorithms it should take note when a page is being overly reported and shut down accounts of people filing false reports. As much as your stories are deemed anonymous the comments under your Facebook posts usually aren’t and are sometimes more hilarious.

  • Sterling Turtle Rider
    May 26, 2017 at 2:11 am

    In a bit of positive news, it appears that at least some headway has been made on the redirects; it no longer automatically links me to another tab whenever I click in the winbdow of
    the stories here (and I never come to them through Facebook, I always come to the site directly through the address bar).

  • Chris
    May 26, 2017 at 1:03 am

    Good guys win!

      May 26, 2017 at 7:23 am

      Am I the only 39 year old in US that doesn’t have a Facebook page? Turtleboy Sports sends every story right to my email. Me and BelIchek have the Instaface but that’s something different. Cause we are special. I hope I keep getting Emails from you guys , how else will I get through the day?

      • Kara Downs Syndrome
        May 26, 2017 at 12:29 pm

        41 here. I had a Facebook page in the early days but deleted 5 years ago when I realized I couldn’t keep up or compete with the drama. The wife deleted hers too. We couldn’t be happier and *never* wish we had it back. Facebook is the roiling, boiling cesspool of the human soul. I’ve only ever come to the turtleboysports.com page.

        I have had a few jury-rigged troll accounts for the purpose of haranguing local yokals on local newspaper comment systems that require Facebook for commenting. Facebook got wise to these and shut them down, and now it’s almost impossible to create a solid Facebook troll account without providing phone number, email address of your boss, social security, DNA sample, etc. It’s just not even worth it for trolling.

        Facebook absolutely sucks and anyone who is an adult and spends more than 5 minutes there every day (96.8% of the American population) needs mental help or addiction therapy. It’s just fucking stupid.

        That said, I hope Turtleboy still is able to somehow scope out and scrape ratchet Facebook pages.

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