All-Star Criminals

Brockton Boob Gets Arrested In Quincy Police Station After Getting Away With Drunken Boat Piracy To Bail Out 2 Friends Who Got Caught

Brockton Boob Gets Arrested In Quincy Police Station After Getting Away With Drunken Boat Piracy To Bail Out 2 Friends Who Got Caught

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I don’t own a boat, so I’m not gonna pretend to know whether or not this is a serious crime. Sounds like a bunch of local boobs who got too drunk and thought it would be wise to jump on a boat and pretend they’re pirates. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t contemplate doing this while stumbling around the docks in Oak Bluffs. And then when they got caught they gave them the “we’re leaving, we’re leaving” so I have a hard time believing they were there to do any sort of serious damage. Plus, look a these boobs:

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I know dangerous criminals when I see them. These are not dangerous criminals. These are just bad drunks.

Of course the best part of the story is that Nicholas Ruskiewicz got away, and instead of just staying home and counting his blessings, he decided to go to the one place the cops would never think to look for him – the police station. Good thing he changed his shirt though. Because they’ll never recognize you with a new shirt you on. Truly one of the great moments in criminal stupidity. Why would someone who got away with it do something so utterly stupid? This might explain it:

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Much like the Polish Air Force, it appears as if going to the police station to check up on his friends was an idea that never really got off the ground.

 

 

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15 Comment(s)
  • TIG OLE BITTIES
    April 30, 2017 at 4:22 pm

    Wood!

  • Turd Burglestein
    April 30, 2017 at 11:40 am

    If they were just on the deck of the boat acting like nudniks, let them plead that shit down to trespassing. However if they were inside the living quarters of the boat, then by all means they deserve the B&E charges.

  • Madcow not Rachel
    April 30, 2017 at 9:20 am

    Fucking Dolt is drinking PBR…………….. BAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa

  • Bert
    April 30, 2017 at 12:14 am

    Guessing at least one has a real job & they’re at the right ages too.

  • Polish and proud!
    April 29, 2017 at 9:32 pm

    Giving us poor Polacks a bad name, lay off the blackberry brandy dude! That Jezynowka will make you do stupid things!

  • Rightwinger
    April 29, 2017 at 6:40 pm

    Its Trumps fault!

  • Chip Striker
    April 29, 2017 at 5:37 pm

    Keep it up and you’ll be joining Kyle Kennedy on his boat. Kyle is the Butt Pirate of the S.S Sodom.

    • on it's back
      May 21, 2017 at 9:57 am

      Sorry​ didn’t mean to thumb down!

  • Georgie
    April 29, 2017 at 4:57 pm

    As a good friend of the 3 “criminals” I just want everyone to know this article is spot on

    • Dirk Diggler
      May 1, 2017 at 7:15 pm

      Fuck off with the polish racism assholes

  • Flat Brimmed Turtle
    April 29, 2017 at 4:25 pm

    I can’t wait to see these guys on this seasons Deadliest Catch!!!
    Quincy PD isn’t even trying to arrest s**t bags, they just put out the welcome mat and they come crawling to them……………..

  • Social Justice Ultimate Warrior
    April 29, 2017 at 4:19 pm

    What’s long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night?

    A new last name.

    *Baaaazzzzzing*

    But seriously…this guy is retarded.

  • FatFingr Lou
    April 29, 2017 at 4:08 pm

    Sounds like a High School/College movie plot…and they’re all 24-26 too!

    I would chow a few bags of popcorn to watch TB Productions of a modern version of Clerks.

    (Yes, Silent Bob..take a seat next to the OLD and close to retirement Long Duk Dong.)

    • FatFingr Lou
      April 29, 2017 at 4:23 pm

      They could be the Brockton version of Nova Scotia’s Julian, Bubbles and Ricky

      • Tony
        November 25, 2018 at 2:47 pm

        How do you stop a polish tank?
        Shoot the two guys pushing it

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