Hoodrat Heroes

Central Falls Naked Chick Lied To Police And Actually Shot Herself  Playing With Her Gangbanger Baby Daddy’s Gun. SSTG Got Turtleboyed By Lying Hood Bunny And The Whole Office Is Laughing About It

Central Falls sucks harder than I could ever imagine!

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Consider this my first Turtlefail. A correction of sorts.

I can’t stop fucking laughing at myself but I’m going to try to type through my giggling. I got played SO HARD on that Central Falls blog I did this morning. 

 

I had zero information from the police and couldn’t figure out why, if the whole thing was as crazy as it seemed, there wasn’t a press release done. So, I just went down with what the neighborhood was saying in the comments section. It seemed pretty consistent so, well, that’s what I get for trusting a bunch of ghetto bunnies and street talk.

Shame. Shame. Shame.

 

Even the comment section was eight. (Ha! Badumching!)

 

 

Girl looks perpetually stoned. You know, when she doesn’t have the homing beacon of filters for trashy :

 

 

Anyways, I went to go call out Aley MissMarie Davis for acting like she knew the whole story and LOOK WHO I FOUND.

 


Girl, you silly. Don’t go trying to change your name to hide from me. You know that I’m going to find your dog filter pics anyways!

 

And here is the underage goon who knocked her up:

 

I majored in “Crippin” too. Homeboy looks like Grimace.

So I was told it was a mother who was feeding her child by Aley. That she got grazed by a bullet shot by some hood rats. Yada yadddda.

That explained why the girl came out of the house with her titties flying everywhere and covered in blood.

Shit! I even said she looked pretty good for someone who had just given birth and taken a bullet. I was wicked nice about it!

Well, I guess my blog caused the police to clear it up by issuing a press release.  What actually happened makes the original story fail even funnier. I don’t even care if I got taken for a ride. This is hysterical.

 

CENTRAL FALLS, R.I. (WPRI) — An 18-year-old who claimed she was grazed by a bullet fired into a home made the whole thing up, Central Falls police said Wednesday.

Police said Lisa Henriquez actually shot herself by accident while she and two others were playing with a gun in the Parker Street home Tuesday afternoon. According to police, the three thought the gun was not loaded.
When officers responded to the reported shooting, police said Henriquez and others at the house told officers that a gunman had fired through the window, then ran off. Police said several more officers rushed to the Parker Street address to search for a suspect and other possible victims.

After she was treated for a gunshot wound to her cheek at Rhode Island Hospital, police said they charged Henriquez with obstructing officers and firing a gun in a compact area.

Police said they also charged a 16-year-old boy, claiming he was in possession of the gun. Police said the boy also tried to hide the gun from officers.

According to police, Henriquez was released on $50,000 personal recognizance following her arraignment Wednesday morning. The 16-year-old was arraigned in Family Court and ordered held at the Training School.

 

 

You know, the last time I played Russian Roulette with my tig ol biddies flying all over the place, with my two under age gang baes hanging out with me, I shot myself too! Them triggers be tricky!

Plus, my fingers were greasy from them hot fries I was eating. SSTG loves her some Hot Fries.

Then, once my floppy funbags were nice and lubed up with my own self-inflicted wound-blood, I waited for them coppers to kick my door in and make me run across the street to safety. I guess that would classify them as street cones.

Well, I’m glad there wasn’t a baby nearly killed. Just my ego. 😂 I’m not going alone. I’m taking the whole crew of hoodrats with me! Bwahaha! Desk Girl is going to be busy AF.

Turtle along my wonderful friends. I fully expect for all of you to have one-liner jokes at my expense for me in the comments! I’m sure you won’t disappoint!

 

 

 

 

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15 Comment(s)
  • April 29, 2017 at 1:44 pm

    this is what drives me nuts about tb. there is zero research and zero repercussions bc everyone posts anonymously. such coward shit to profit of the ignorance of local communities. tb has become self-aware of this and even made a verb out of it in “being turtleboyed” aka anonymously writing an inaccurate hit pit on someone, linking to their social media to maximize the weaponized social media effect, and then being like ¯_(ツ)_/¯ oh well lol i heard they committed suicide..

  • Vaginal Smellbeef Bologna
    April 27, 2017 at 2:22 pm

    Does anyone else here get hot over those Snapchat filters that make it look a marginally legal sewer slut is both pushing out and sniffing her own farts at the same time? I love that. Woof woof!

  • Madcow not Rachel
    April 27, 2017 at 9:15 am

    Why would she own a pair of “work boots”………..????

  • Madcow not Rachel
    April 27, 2017 at 9:13 am

    Big ass and thick thighs……….good slave stock.

  • Talisman
    April 27, 2017 at 7:26 am

    “firing a gun in a compact area”
    Strange, so if you’re out on the street, it’s a different charge?
    Why isn’t it just “discharge of a firearm within city limits”. Unless the former carries a higher penalty for some reason.

    Anybody know?

  • Light one up
    April 26, 2017 at 10:04 pm

    what the hell is 50,000.00 personal recognizance? How the hell would she have any get out of jail money?

  • Noseface
    April 26, 2017 at 9:01 pm

    Deep down, didn’t we all know there was more to the story?

  • gfldgadfly
    April 26, 2017 at 8:20 pm

    You get super credit for doing corrections with way more aplomb than the Greenfield Distorter, so there’s that. I’m laughing WITH you, sstg !!!

  • Sean "Irish Express" Fitzgerald
    April 26, 2017 at 7:17 pm

    I’d hit her in the caboose

    • Me
      April 26, 2017 at 7:59 pm

      I wouldn’t fuck that with a stolen dick!

  • TIG OLE BITTIES
    April 26, 2017 at 7:12 pm

    SSTG I would motor boat the fuck out of you Dirty Pillows anyday.

  • Heavy gov. assistance
    April 26, 2017 at 7:05 pm

    Baby’s momma mizbehvin again.

  • Lindsay
    April 26, 2017 at 7:04 pm

    What if she had a puppy and some cupcakes and a cute little kitten…. you’ve gone soft SSTG. Tsk tsk.

  • Da Judge
    April 26, 2017 at 6:58 pm

    Whores do the dumbest things!

    • Gas Pipe
      April 26, 2017 at 9:29 pm

      Million Dollar question…..what the fuck is a 50k personal recognizance?

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