Cops Finally Arrested Cockwhistle Jordan Lamonde, Who Punched A Woman 39 Times Outside Of A Planet Fitness, And He Whines On FB About Treating Women Right

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Last month we blogged about the innocent woman who was punched in the face 39 times outside of a Planet Fitness in Rochester, NH.

Well, good news – they caught the asshole who did it:

What a fucking pussy. Cool hardo face bro. Is there anything more emasculating that you can possibly be arrested for than cold clocking a woman outside of a Planet Fitness? You have negative penis if you do that. And of course his name is Jordan. No offense to dudes named Jordan, but if you’re a guy named Jordan you’re probably a new kid on the block, or a huge chud. That’s just science.

Glad this animal was locked up, but we can’t seem to find a Facebook page for him. Luckily we did find his old man’s Facebook page, which features many photographs of he and his worthless spawn together:

I don’t think I’ve ever hated someone this much before.

Oh, and you will, never, ever, EVER guess who his favorite professional sportball team is:

I swear to God it’s a requirement to buy a Chicago Bulls flat brimmed hat if you’re a swamp donkey piece of shit and you’re interested in trying out to be on Turtleboy.

Actually, scratch that – we found his Facebook page:

What a choad.

Him and his old man have a BFF rapport:

“Nice pic player.”

Well guess what dad? He’s about to be the pick of the litter in the can. He’s gonna be playing the field a lot, it’s just not gonna be consensual. That face right there is worth two packs of Newports and an extra tube of toothpaste.

He posted in this in 2014:

And by hitting the gym he means, “hitting women outside of the gym when they’re not looking because my penis is so tiny.”

He also likes to bitch and whine about how women don’t choose men who will “treat em right”:

And by treat em right he means, “hitting women outside of the gym when they’re not looking because my penis is so tiny.”

Not surprisingly he uses words like “cop” when referring to his latest pair of Jordan’s:

He likes to censor himself while using the n word, as if that makes it OK:

He wishes a mother fucker would…..

And by that he means, “I wish an innocent woman, minding her own business would try to walk to her car in a Planet Fitness so I could punch her in the head when she’s not looking because my penis is so tiny.”

Oh, and he’s going grey, even when he was 19 years old:

Couldn’t happen to a worse person.

What I wanna know is, why? Why would he do this? Did he rob her? Because that hasn’t been reported? Was she latest in a long list of women who were so disinterested in his tiny penis that he finally snapped and took it out on her? Because if he was rejected by her I would’ve thought she could identify him by now. Or is he just an asshole who doesn’t need a reason to be an animal, and hits defenseless women for fun?

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