Ya know what we haven’t done in a while? Hero of the week. And it’s gotta go to this guy Ian O’Reilly from Kensington, NH for what he did to save his own crotch fruit on MLK Day.

A New Hampshire man fought off and eventually killed a coyote that attacked his family Monday near Judes Pond on the Exeter-Kensington line, local police departments confirmed to Boston 25 News. Exeter Police received a call around 11 a.m. Monday morning that detailed how one father choked the coyote to death after the animal attacked his family on the trail near the pond. A sergeant with New Hampshire Fish & Game added that the incident began when the coyote attacked one of the father’s three children, who he and his wife were walking with along the trail. That father – who officials later identified as Ian O’Reilly of Kensington, N.H. – was able to kick the coyote away from the 2-year-old child before choking the animal to death.

“There was no interest in it going away. [I] ultimately had to make the decision to become the aggressor and jumped on it, attacked it and [got] it to the ground,” O’Reilly said. “When I was able to get on top of it, I put my hand on its snout so it wasn’t able to attack me. There was quite a bit of snow on the ground, so I shoved the face into the snow and then eventually was able [to] put my hand on its snout and expire it through suffocation. Ultimately one hand on its windpipe and one hand on its snout did the trick.”

O’Reilly was apparently bitten in the arm and chest by the coyote. The child involved was also bitten, though the animal did not break the child’s skin due to the snowsuit he was wearing at the time. Since the incident, O’Reilly has already received his first round of rabies shots; he’ll have four more follow-up visits with doctors for more.

The father of three said he was running off of adrenaline and instinct when the nearly 10-minute long struggle ensued. He added that he did not take any pleasure in killing the animal, but believed he had no choice but to protect his wife and kids, given the coyote’s behavior.

Police in Kensington say that other town residents had issues with that same coyote during the day. They say that one person photographed the coyote as it tried to attack a car around 8:40 a.m. Shortly after, police report that Pat Lee, a 62-year-old Kensington woman, had a run-in with the animal 15 minutes later, when the coyote tried to attack her dogs on Hemlock Road in the town. Lee says that the dogs chased the coyote in their yard after one of the dogs was able to open the porch door. Lee then closed the door on the coyote’s head after managing to get her dogs inside. The animal escaped before its encounter with O’Reilly sometime later. New Hampshire Fish & Game say that the same coyote also went after a jogger and her dog, though they did not mention where that incident occurred.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – toxic masculinity is the greatest thing that has ever happened to Western civilization. When men act like men dangerous predators are eliminated and cute little children live life freely. This guy might not look like the kid of guy who will choke a coyote to death:

But if you fuck with his kids, he will put you down.

Coyotes are the sharks of the land. I don’t mind their ongoing existence, but there’s really no need for them. If the went extinct tomorrow the food chain would continue without losing a beat.

“But Turtleboy, they help control the deer and squirrel population.”

Newsflash – hunting and birds of prey do the same thing. What they really control is the pet population, and for that they need to die.

The bottom line is that this coyote was a menace that was terrorizing the town. It went after pets, cars, and delicious toddlers. It got away with it because rabid coyotes think they can do whatever they want and we’re not gonna fight back. Finally, one man reached his breaking point and decided that it was time to choke a bitch. He not only selflessly saved the life of his own crotch fruit, he also potentially saved the lives of lot of pets, and for that he is our Turtleboy hero of the week.

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