All-Star Criminals

Crack Galifianakis Runs Through Manchvegas Nude At 2 AM, Gets Tased Twice, Assaults Cop From Hospital Bed

 

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It wouldn’t be a weekend in Manchvegas if a drunken man with a pubefarm growing on his face got white girl wasted, ran around town naked, had to get tased twice, and then assaulted a police officer while under arrest at the hospital.

Give Crack Galifianakis a break. Is that not allowed here? I thought this was the live free or die state. Since when do we have to wear clothes in public at that hour of the night? Does this look like the kind of guy who routinely downs a bottle of Mr. Boston’s and makes bad decisions?

Nah, he dindu nuffin. Free muh boi.

And this may be the most New Hampshire photograph ever taken.

An alcoholic hippie redneck posing for a picture in a backyard of broken dreams whilst holding his musket, while a woman in a 4XL shirt that she bought at a gift shop 11 years ago photographs his ass. Live free or die mother fucker.

I do love Manchester Information. It’s like what would happen if WINY Radio and the Ware Police Department’s Facebook pages had a baby. Others don’t like it so much.

Yea, how dare a news outlet report on police press releases! You think it’s news that an individual ran around town naked at 2 AM and assaulted a cop after being tased? He deserves privacy. Free muh boi.

Oh, and get fucked Mellisa with one S and two L’s.

 

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16 Comment(s)
  • Silencio Dogood
    September 4, 2019 at 3:17 am

    i believe this Dark Lord Gawron to be more Hobbit than one-eyed special effect.

  • jim
    September 4, 2019 at 12:13 am

    Looks all ghetto with the marlin 22 in a field lol

    • ncfoothillbilly
      September 4, 2019 at 9:08 am

      He couldve, at least, put a real scope on it, rather than a pellet gun scope. Cheap bastid.

  • Sir Elton John
    September 3, 2019 at 11:30 pm

    What kind of faggot makes sure they’re matching before going shooting?

  • Woody
    September 3, 2019 at 7:11 pm

    When a naked guy gets tazed does he get a boner from the electrical current? Asking for a friend.

  • z
    September 3, 2019 at 1:56 pm

    Granted he looks like he was probably born with webbed fingers in the non beard photos, but at 20 that’s a pretty big fall in the looks department.

    Son, Dean Wormer said it best (though it was about booze).

  • Two Patch Crappy Jack
    September 3, 2019 at 1:29 pm

    I hear banjos playing in the background…

  • Keep on Rolling
    September 3, 2019 at 1:10 pm

    This must be the white, New Hampshire version of the outdoor trans person-of-color pole-dancer from Springfield featured recently.

    Both are lucky they apparently dodged the batches containing the Fentanyl. But they’ll likely keep rolling the dice.

  • Juju
    September 3, 2019 at 1:06 pm

    More like “Crack GalifiaNAKED”

  • Old Tom Morris
    September 3, 2019 at 12:51 pm

    Meth Rogen.

    • Dick Scratcher
      September 3, 2019 at 12:56 pm

      Ding ding ding! We have a winner!

  • z
    September 3, 2019 at 12:22 pm

    The 3 Amigos photo.
    I didn’t realize Chumlee was off probation. Looked it up, probation ended a couple of weeks ago.

  • Dick Scratcher
    September 3, 2019 at 12:18 pm

    As an afterthought, it seems that the leader of the Klingon High Council has really let himself go. 🙂

  • Dick Scratcher
    September 3, 2019 at 12:10 pm

    Limerick of the day……..

    A Manchvegas, crack-headed dude
    Was tazed as he ran in the nude,
    The cop at the front
    Said “He looks like a cunt”
    Just like that, right out loud, bloody rude!

    Dick Scratcher, aged 9 inches (whilst streaking)

  • WarWack
    September 3, 2019 at 11:47 am

    Only the “Cow” has left “Cowhampshire”

  • Now what
    September 3, 2019 at 11:33 am

    I almost died at the Crack Galifianakis title. dead…dead…I’m dead…can-n-o-t stop LAUGHING…

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