All-Star Criminals

Cracked Out Mimi Bobeck Pulls A Soup Nazi, Whips Noodles At Her Friend After Argument, Takes Epic Post Noodle Assault Mugshot, Because Manchester

Because who hasn’t whipped someone with a wet noodle at some point in their life?







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We’ve all been there. Arguing in the hallway of some crack den in Cowtown about who’s got the next bag, when all of a sudden, everything escalates and BAM! The noodles hit the fan and we’re all left wondering how the hell we got there in the first place.

Hong Kong City called, they want their chins back.


SOURCE: “MERRIMACK, NH (WHDH) – A woman was arrested Tuesday after police say she threw a bowl of noodles at another resident during an altercation at an apartment building in Merrimack, New Hampshire.

Officers responded around 5 p.m. to an apartment at 14 Turnbuckle Lane for a report of a verbal argument that was taking place.

Authorities say Joy Smith, 45, of Manchester, was visiting the apartment when she got into a heated argument with a resident of the building.

Smith is accused of using profanities, making threats and throwing a bowl of noodles at the resident.

Smith was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct. She was released on $1,000 bail.

It’s not clear if the victim was injured in the altercation.”


After seeing this mugshot, I’m wondering if Mimi had an allergic reaction. Maybe that’s what the argument was about – someone tossed a bit of lobster in the noodle pot and Joyless Joy wigged out, knowing the assassins were planning her untimely demise, tossing the offending noodles at her would-be killer. OK – maybe my imagination is a bit too vivid. I think the crack story is more plausible.

Hello, the 90s called and Mimi Bobeck wants her look back


Now, what I want to know is, were the noodles hot? Did she whip them or chuck them? What profanities was she slinging? I can only imagine the treasure trove of a vocabulary this giant fupaslothamus must have, so I am kinda sad that more details haven’t emerged. These are the hard-hitting questions that are begging to be answered.


And while her Facebook is pretty locked down, she keeps all her sexy duckface selfies public for our viewing regret



And she is also in an interracial relationship with herself, because who isn’t?

So Turtleriders, tell me, why do you think this fupaslothamus stroodled the noodles? Was it in self-defense and/or preservation, or, because she was pissed over something drug-related? Vote in the poll below!

7 Comment(s)
  • joseph schmo
    May 14, 2017 at 9:49 am

    What a waste of good noodles…

  • Madcow not Rachel
    May 14, 2017 at 9:04 am

    Obviously was never taught The Sleeper Hold………….rank amateur…….

  • UsualSuspect
    May 13, 2017 at 12:39 pm

    Luckily there wasn’t a folding chair nearby! She could have flattened the neighbor and used the Iron Sheik’s Camel Clutch maneuver!

  • True Reality Speaks
    Haystacks Calhoun
    May 13, 2017 at 11:43 am

    Ever since Jimmy Snuka passed, she just hasn’t been the same.

  • Urinaloid
    May 13, 2017 at 9:42 am

    Rock out with your udon out!!

  • George Steele
    May 12, 2017 at 11:23 pm

    She lives at Turnbuckle Lane because of course she does. Where else would you have a WWE fight?

    • Macho Man Randy Savage
      May 14, 2017 at 12:24 am

      The only thing that would have made this story better was if she assaulted her with a Slim Jim

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