All-Star Criminals

Cranston Cream Machine’s 2 Year Old Semen Demon Nearly Drowns While She Got High In Basement, Facebook Page And Google Trophies Reveal Long And Documented History Of Ratchet Behavior


NBCA Cranston woman was arrested after her 2-year-old daughter nearly drowned in a backyard pool Monday afternoon, according to authorities. Col. Michael Winquist said officers responded to a home on Westcott Avenue at about 2 p.m. after a 2-year-old was found unresponsive and face down in a swimming pool. Jacqueline Ciccone, 36, is accused of leaving the toddler under the supervision of her 11-year-old daughter, along with three other siblings, said Winquist. Investigators said Ciccone told officers she was in the basement doing laundry and smoking marijuana when her 11-year-old daughter told her that she could not find her 2-year-old sister. That’s when they found the child in the pool, according to the colonel. Winquist said a next-door neighbor, who’s a registered nurse, performed CPR on the toddler. The 2-year-old was taken to Hasbro Children’s Hospital, where she was in the intensive care unit. The Rhode Island Department of Children, Youth and Families was notified. Winquist said Ciccone was arraigned on one count of child neglect. Her next court appearance was set for Aug. 5. City inspectors will inspect the pool on Tuesday. Officers said it was not fenced in as required.

You know you’re pretty ratchet when you get arrested for child neglect because your crotch almost drowned and you show up for your mugshot wearing a “Mom Life” shirt. Maybe if your Mom was Kate Peter, but then you probably wouldn’t even know who she was. Her Facebook page is a cornucopia of ratchetry.

Let’s take a look.

First she warns people about the dangers of smoking cigarettes while urging them to smoke pot.

Which is fine and all, unless you’re smoking pot in your basement while your semen demon is drowning in your pool.

She likes to party hard while her 11 year old watches the litter of raw dog trophies she recently fired out (she has 3 under the age of 3).


You’re 36 years old and still using an ice luge. That explains a lot actually.

She’s upset that more models don’t show off their fupas so she can see what she’d look like in swimwear.

Her boyfriend Steve DiMezza seems like the kind of guy you’d wanna father your children too.


If you get knocked up by a guy who wears flat brimmed hats that says “MONEY” under it with the sticker still on, or ANYTHING with a Chicago Bulls logo on it, you’re gonna end up on Turtleboy. Especially if you live in Rhode Island. That’s just science.

Same goes if you’re covered in tittoos and have a gold chain with your name on it, instead of something that involves your kids.

Abandoning their crotch fruits to live it up seems to be their thing anyway. In February they got on a plane and went to Florida to celebrate her (checks notes) 36th birthday.

Imagine being a grown woman and thinking that your 36th birthday was something that not only required a celebration, but a trip to Florida to get wasted with the career boyfriend you’ll never marry for tax purposes.

Somehow they can afford to go on trips like this despite the fact that they don’t have jobs.

It’s not his fault though. He got laid off because of the weather.

You live in New England. If your ability to work in February is dependent on having good weather then you don’t have a real job. They must’ve paid for the trip with their stimulus cash.

Good thing our government was just handing out money left and right to every guttermuppet who wasn’t working before the pandemic started. Guess she needed it for yet another tattoo.

Because these people can NEVER have enough tattoos. Ever.

She seemed really bothered that her kids would do kid shit. Ya know, like touching stuff.

Damn kids making their 11 year old sister watch them all the time! Why can’t she just plop you down in front of Peppa Pig for 4 hours while she smoked a blunt in the basement with the flat brimmed mafia?

I love when a Rhode Island ratchet makes it into the inbox because their judicial portal is so easy to use and ALWAYS yields a whole bunch of Google trophies. But these two winners have more than the average jizz weasels. Jackie has a whole bunch of judgements against her from creditors.

The two of them were evicted in 2018, because paying rent is hard.

She’s got arrests all over the “state” (Rhode Island is a fake state with no reason to exist) including a whole bunch for driving without a license, to possession of a weapon, to simple assault, and being a fugitive from justice.

His portfolio is a little more diverse, and includes charges ranging from felony assault, to receiving stolen goods, to visiting a common nuisance, to obstructing a police officer, to drug possession, to failure to stop, to driving without a license, and of course a whole bunch of DUI’s.


Naturally when these two met and exchanged criminal histories they decided it would be wise to procreate together.

And of course the single Mom mafia is defending their honor on her Facebook page.

The fact that they refer to the child as “G” and claim that she’ll be “just fine” after nearly drowning and ending up in the ICU, tells us everything we need to know about Marissa Dunning, Karen Dalessio, and Madison Marie Curtin.

“Like she really isn’t dealing with enough already.”

Oh yea, she’s the victim here. Not the neglected child who almost died under her watch.

“This isn’t true what actually happened.”

Actually, it is.

“Jacquie is a good Mom. She has always been a good Mom.”

The mere fact that you think someone who got knocked up by the only guy in Rhode Island with more Google trophies than her, tells me everything I need to know about your standards for parenting. If this had happened to a good parent, who didn’t have a long and documented history of shitty behavior, and whose alibi wasn’t “I was smoking pot in the basement, instead of watching my kid,” then I might be willing to have some sympathy. But the fact of the matter is that this was the culmination of years and years of being a ratchet, and she deserves every ounce of criticism coming her way.


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31 Comment(s)
  • Righteous Cracker
    July 27, 2021 at 8:59 pm

    In the basement smoking pot and choking on week old pizza crust

  • water is life
    July 22, 2021 at 4:26 pm

    Poor kid tried to die just to get away from her…

  • Doug Bushman
    July 22, 2021 at 2:55 pm

    Anyone have her cell number?

  • Ray Patriarca
    Lord Gort
    July 22, 2021 at 10:37 am

    That is one HARD 36.
    Looks like she’s seen more pipe than the Alaskan Pipeline in the last 20 or so years.
    Ridden hard.
    Put away wet.

  • “Spreads in Fields” Finklay-ya
    July 22, 2021 at 9:45 am

    Can anyone give me a ride?

  • Krispen Wah
    July 22, 2021 at 9:40 am

    Kids’ life would have been better off had he drowned.

    We all know it.

    Happy the JaJa spammer is back, I can take the time to remind them that I fucked Jalajhiaaah as well, in my Fass Coupe- ya heard?

  • Jon Tudor
    July 22, 2021 at 9:39 am

    To all those FB moms defending her- why don’t you all let her baby sit your kids!!!

  • Dr Wu
    Dr Wu
    July 22, 2021 at 9:02 am

    Could someone please give me the Cliff Notes version of this? I tried to read the whole thing but this overwhelming smell of trash was emanating from my computer. It was like driving behind a garbage truck that hadn’t been compacted yet on a 105 degree August day.

  • Book em Danno
    July 22, 2021 at 5:53 am

    Granted, this flat brimmed loser is an unemployable POS, who sleeps with a ratchet flunkie walrus, but FYI you pulled up rap sheets on a couple Dimezza wops. This a-hole was born in ‘87, there’s another one in there ‘59 so maybe intermingled google trophies.

  • Observer
    July 22, 2021 at 12:24 am

    Did some checking, two of my posts over the last few days are not there. Turtleboy what’s up with the censorship.
    I have mentioned this problem before.

  • Peter Dautel
    July 21, 2021 at 10:48 pm

    The moment I got this, saw the “accused”, said to myself “lard ass, with hardo, case closed”

  • Masshole report breaking news
    July 21, 2021 at 10:25 pm

    Our sources tell us the reason Aidan attacked GOP leadership is because they rejected to recognized him in the Republican ticket during his election.
    We have an exclusive with Tom Mountain this weekend, with Aidan’s e mails.
    Stay tuned.

  • anonymous
    July 21, 2021 at 9:18 pm

    What no one is saying is that the child probably has brain damage from this, and will become yet another of the uber-expensive SPED children.

    Not having the pool fenced is FAR worse than having the 11 year old supervising an infant — my guess is that the infant is far more responsible than either parent.

    • Boe Jiden
      Anoxic Brain Injury
      July 21, 2021 at 9:27 pm

      This is true. Despite what TV, Movies, the media, or Hollywood informs people of.. The fact remains that very few CPR recipients survive let alone with their brain intact. The young age is in this poor childs favor but outlook not good.

  • Biden administration is extending non-essential travel restrictions for the U.S. northern and southern borders until Aug. 21.
    July 21, 2021 at 8:29 pm

    The Biden administration is extending non-essential travel restrictions for the U.S. northern and southern borders until Aug. 21. (OMG are they serious?)

    The U.S. has been limiting non-essential travel along both borders since the start of the pandemic and extending those restrictions on a monthly basis.

    (errrrrr….. full stop lying US Government………)

    Under President Joe Biden CBP Has Encountered More Than One Million Illegal Aliens as of June.

    • Boe Jiden
      Boe Jiden
      July 21, 2021 at 9:04 pm

      Why u gotta hang outside the passenger side of your Model T trying to holla at me?
      Boe knows blacks

    • Lesbian from Rhode Island who complains about everything.
      July 22, 2021 at 9:33 am

      Thats cause they don’t want you to see them loading gaggles of these dirty assholes on military planes and dropping them off randomly thousands of miles away from the border.

      Overwhelming amount- positive for covid.

      Remember when they set up photo shoots at the border to make Trump look like “literally hitler”?

  • Doug Bushman
    Tom Mountain's Strap On
    July 21, 2021 at 8:15 pm

    Wow they make the horse guy look responsible.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    July 21, 2021 at 7:54 pm

    Can someone please give me directions to the Cranston Cream Machine? I’m always looking for a new place to get a cone.

  • Clint Torrez
    July 21, 2021 at 7:43 pm

    A homeowner who fails to install a locked fence around their pool should go to prison if someone dies from falling in. If you’re too careless to own one responsibly then fill it in.

    In other news, a bunch of women soccer players took a knee during their national anthem at the Olympics. I would guess that the TV ratings are higher for Sunday morning infomercials about steak knives than the women’s events.

  • Hu Fartted
    Sum Ting Wong
    July 21, 2021 at 7:34 pm

    These members of the lowlife class are multiplying exponentially and will do nothing but destroy our civilized way of life.

    • ANYA
      July 21, 2021 at 10:26 pm

      Fell down a gruesome rabbit hole looking at Marissa Dunning’s
      family and their friends. It’s just this horrible, pathetic web of rachetry.

  • Bill Cribben
    July 21, 2021 at 7:31 pm

    Tom Mountain and these gals should hook up for an orgy or two.

    • Doug Bushman
      TOM MOUNTAIN'S Strap on
      July 22, 2021 at 5:08 am

      We did

  • Boe Jiden
    Boe Jiden
    July 21, 2021 at 7:18 pm

    Not everyone has the access to the pools during this summer. My trillion dollar insta-structure would include pools for the poor in the cities and rural area folks. These are the people that don’t have the pools, ponds, lakes, streams, and waterfalls that you are used to. Stick to the fire hydrants that you know have the things. We don’t need to scrub this plan. A scrub don’t get no love. You ain’t black.
    I hear an ice cream truck. I must go now.
    I’m Boe Jiden

  • Inflamed Anus
    Inflamed Anus
    July 21, 2021 at 6:30 pm

    Its been said before, invent a pill that would make semen taste like chocolate, problem solved. None of these heffers would have any kids.

  • Ellen Crowley from Woburn
    July 21, 2021 at 6:08 pm

    Bet that whole house smells like stale wet newports, baby shit, and ball sweat.

  • whatevuh
    July 21, 2021 at 5:32 pm

    well, it doesn’t get any lower than this, was that the goal? to be a low class piece of shit? Isn’t there any desire to improve? no? kill if with fire

  • Thank good I left RI.
    July 21, 2021 at 5:03 pm

    I went to school with her. Her father was busted for selling drugs pit of his catering business when she and her sister were in high school. They lived in a huge house- that changed really fast when the drug money stopped and dad went to jail for many many years. Looks like even that didn’t scare the kids into wanting a better life for their kids. So sad but the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Who the hell leaves an 11 year old to watch three kids under 3 with a pool in the yard. WTH??!!!! But on another note-This is by far the funniest thing I have read in a long time. It is so true. Lol

  • jalajhia “raw dog” finklea
    July 21, 2021 at 4:04 pm

    This is probably how I would have lived my life because of all the drug use, unprotected sex, and poor decisions I made. But I died has a trashy pregnant teen in Florida. BUT I have been drug and alcohol free for a while now.

  • RobertI
    July 21, 2021 at 3:43 pm

    These two losers deserve each other, get those kids out so they at least have a chance.

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